ESSAY- MSc in Finance UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER

ROCHESTER university prompts response

Essay 1 (Required): In 250-500 words total, respond to the following prompts
Please review my first draft's content and english language. There is no particular question, yet the statement should include:
-Describe your short-term and long-term goals for post-MBA or post-MS.
-Given the fluctuation of economic and industry hiring trends, identify a back-up plan should your short-term goal not be immediately attainable.
-How does your past education and experience support your career objectives?
-Lastly, what aspects of your intended Simon Business School program make it a good choice for your graduate study?

My immediate career goal is to be an entry-level Investment Banking Analyst in JP Morgan. In the initial three to five years, I will horn my strong quantitative, analytical and communication skills. This will prepare me for my long-term goal to become a Vice President in charge of M&A Capital Markets, where I will further develop my management, financial skills, professional expertise and sector experience. My ultimate goal is to take over my family business in China and apply my international education and global experience for further expansion and development of the business.

For a back-up plan, I will try to secure a job as Financial Advisory or other investment banking related positions in the Big 4 accounting firms or other regional banks to accumulate necessary networks and corporate finance experience. With conscientious and steady working manner, I will eventually make it into investment banks thereafter.

While my previous education in college has paved me a solid academic ground with relevant business foundation and quantitative skills, my internship experience has given me tentative experiences to pinpoint and pursue my career objectives.

A typical example was my role as a data analyst intern in Guangzhou Securities. I was responsible for building and testing an Integrated Service Platform to streamline the process of investment research and provide detailed information to the investment bankers. During the process, I conducted fundamental analysis by establishing key indicators to evaluate the company's ability to influence its customers and suppliers and to assess its management effectiveness. I have assisted my colleagues in constructing financial models by pulling financial data (revenue, gross profit, etc.) of the target security and its peer group from their annual reports. I led a team of three in constructing a mathematical model with an accuracy rate up to 75% to predict Air Pollution Index in 11 Chinese cities in June, winning the third prize in the 11th National College Students Computer Design Competition. I also gained early insight into JP Morgan by receiving a 1-month training session from the Vice President at Treasury and chief investment officer and independently completed a research report on Alibaba. Such achievements demonstrated my effort to acquire necessary quantitative and analytical skills to work as Investment Banking analyst building financial models to address customers' problems and executing transactions.

Simon's program has unique features that attract me. The courses like "CIS 418 Advanced Business Modeling, FIN 418 Financial Modeling" are exactly what I desired to enhance problem solving skills based on quantitative models, risk simulation and sensitivity analysis. The course FIN448 Fixed Income Securities" provides relevant training for me to familiarise with coupon bonds, callable and putable bonds, etc. and teaches how to assess an investment in a fixed-income security. The course "MGC 462 Communicating Analytics, MGC 401 Professional Communication" are pertinent to building vital skills for management level roles that I desire in my long-term goal. Besides, the internship track will allow me to gain more internship experience, and make me more competitive in future job hunting.

Thank you guys beforehand!!

Since this is an academic essay that is supposed to render itself as serious as a heart attack in its presentation, you need to remove all references to "etc." in your presentation. That creates a lack of academic seriousness and shows a disrespect to the reviewer. Stay focused on an academic and professional tone at all times.

Your immediate career goals and your back up plans need to represent the strategy that you will use to get hired by these companies since you are a non-American in the times of "America First" trying to get hired by an American company. You will not be their priority hire based on the new focus of their economic strategy. So, how do you plan to stand out in terms of qualifications after you study so that your immediate career plan and back up career plan companies might decide that you are a better person to hire than the American candidate applying alongside you?

Since America is engaged in a trade war with China at the moment, it would be best to skip the part about you taking what you learned back to China to improve your family business. Rather, focus on helping the American economy get ahead first, then going back to China to help your family business after you have "repaid" your host country for the training and work experience it has given you. Indicate about a 2 year period for this as part of your long term career plan.