Please revise... Also, is my essays on topic? Thank you.
The University of Rochester offers many rare advantages, building from our "Meliora" ("ever-better") motto that has inspired generations of scholars, professionals, and artists. Describe what's leading you to apply, and what kind of "Meliora" experiences you want to have here at Rochester and beyond. (250 words max)
Looking back at the days when applying to university seemed decades away, I spent my time looking for the "perfect fit college". The University of Rochester spoke to me. I couldn't hear the words, of course, but there was a connection between my loves for Biomedical Engineering and Brain Science and Rochester's diverse curriculum. Compared to other universities, the University of Rochester seemed more engaging, more adaptable. The University of Rochester gives students the opportunity to apply what they have been learning to research and to study the classes they most desire from the first time they step through the university's honored doors. In addition, Rochester encourages its students to become engaged and involved. I know I will not find this anywhere else.
By being part of the Hajim's Biomedical Engineering Program, my goal is to collaborate with other students to solve real life problems. With my creativity and knowledge, I want to make innovations that can make a difference and improvement on society. Thanks to Rochester's flexible curriculum, I also plan to minor or even double major in Brain and Cognitive Sciences. In Rochester, I will be in an environment where others appreciate my love for science, my love for reading and my love for learning. With more than 200 organizations to choose from, I also hope develop new interests as I explore new activities. This will be my "Meliola" experience.
"The University of Rochester gives students the opportunity to apply what they have been learning to research and to study the classes they most desire from the first time they step through the university's honored doors. In addition, Rochester encourages its students to become engaged and involved." This kind of sounds like a commercial. The prompt states whats leading you to apply. You should base it more personal rather than factual. Also, talk about how you'll change the University of Rochester when you step foot on campus. How will you impact Rochester? How will Rochester impact you? How will things become "even-better" for both Rochester and yourself when you join the Meloria movement. :) Good luck.
Thank you! I wrote characteristics of the University of Rochester, so they knew I was writing about them, not just replacing the university's names. Is the second paragraph is good?
