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"Nature's revenge + Travel to Angola" - Significant event of my life - MBA essay



raghava85 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Please review!

Describe a formative or significant event in your life and then explain how this event has influenced your subsequent thoughts and actions. (500 words)

Incident One:

Nature's revenge on its own world during Hurricane Ike led to a huge catastrophe. It affected the lives of thousands of people. Many people including myself were evacuated from their homes, with nothing in hands except their lives. I along with my friend left Houston and traveled without knowing a definite destination. We stopped at every motel looking for shelter, hunted for open stores for food. Though we finally managed to get accommodation in a motel, we suffered due to the unavailability of vegetarian food to feed ourselves. In that situation, I realized the importance of food, which is not sufficiently available for millions of people in the world.

If the time of the calamity was disastrous, the aftermath was even more devastating. When I had a look at the broken glasses, shattered windows, fallen trees, damaged properties and the lost lives, I felt

"I'm falling to pieces to stick them back,
Presuming to convey that I will survive,
Though tough times did whack and crack,
I shall reform to thrive and revive".

I felt that these disasters are nature's messages to preserve our natural habitats and protect natural resources. In addition, this experience has significantly influenced me to understand the value of life that nature gave us.

Incident Two:

I traveled to Angola in April 2009 to support a major IT project for one of the largest oil & gas companies. I initially rejected this project due to the safety and lodging concerns. Nevertheless, I was convinced by my supervisor who detailed me about the work environment and how personnel safety is of utmost importance. So, I mentally prepared for the project, more importantly in quest of a completely new cultural experience of my life.

The assignment was tough right from the word "go". The work is based in a remote camp area; where employees work continuously about 12 hours a day for 1 month and travel home for vacation. My initial experience was unpleasant since the place, people, and language were all alien to me. The strenuous work schedules turned me weak and there were times when I was affected by the fatigue. However, after working for few weeks, I realized that it is "defining moment" of my career. Besides work, I learned many words in Portuguese and got familiar to diverse African cultures. Furthermore, I interacted with colleagues from more than 20 different countries, enhanced my cultural tolerance and socially associated with them to build global relationships. I realized that "If something doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger". With a positive attitude of exploring the unknown, I turned an otherwise testing assignment to a memorable period of my life.

More than seeing and studying, experiencing is the best way of learning something invaluable in life and I learned a lot through both my experiences. They enabled me to adapt to any situation or environment while teaching me to deal and interact with people of different behavioral traits that they beget from their cultures.

sillygoose 2 / 7  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
just my two cents:

1/

However, after working for few weeks, I realized that it is "defining moment" of my career.

It is not very precise to use "moment" here, as it took you quite a while to change your mind.
I would rather say, after the first few hard weeks, strangely i gradually changed my mind.

2/

Besides work, I learned many words in Portuguese and got familiar to diverse African cultures. Furthermore, I interacted with colleagues from more than 20 different countries, enhanced my cultural tolerance and socially associated with them to build global relationships.

Suppose you may want to give some very special examples that makes you stand out more. Even though it is very interesting to be in far away countries, meeting the locals, learn a few new words or work with colleagues from 20 countries, I would say a lot of travelers or employees of multinational corp. may have the same experiences. Ad-com would expect to see something unique from that experience, imho.

For example, you can tell how you broke the language barriers to communicate with the locals...what your learned and how you changed your mind after that...

Or maybe you can tell about your teamwork or leadership experience in a multicultural environments...
MFitzgerald - / 5  
Dec 31, 2010   #3
I would combine more sentences here, as the writing often feels abrupt and stilted. Here is an sample of the type of revision I would recommend:

"Nature's wrath during Hurricane Ike unraveled the lives of thousands of people, as many, including myself, were evacuated from their homes with nothing to hold onto but their their lives. My friend and I left Houston in a torrid panic, hitting the road without any definite destination..."

Best,
Martin F.
Harvard Square Essays Editing Consultant


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