Hi,
I recently came across this forum and I'm hoping to get some honest feedback on my statement of purpose. This is my first draft, so any input would be appreciated. Thank you for your time!
My desire to pursue a Ph.D. in Organizational Science came about in a rather serendipitous way. After graduating from the University of xxx in 2005, the only thing I was certain of in life was that I need to find a job, quickly.
...
My desire to pursue a Ph.D. in Organizational Science came about in a rather serendipitous way. After graduating from the University of xxx in 2005, the only thing I was certain of in life was that I needed to find a job, quickly.
Although I've<contraction always had an interest in academia, I had never considered it to be a feasible career option. As the youngest of five boys, raised by a single mother who attended night school at the age of 35, I took her plight to mean that school was an obstacle to be overcome in the pursuit of a better life. I wouldn't<contraction find out until years later that my passion would be academia itself.
Throughout my undergraduate studies, I worked full-time and stayed focused on the end-game<trite phrasing... : a good career that paid well enough so that I wouldn't<contraction... have to struggle as my family had.ending the sentence with a prep...?? During my sophomore year, I became one of the youngest students to ever be accepted to the xxx Senate Internship program. While this position would seem to be right in line with my career aspirations, my ulterior motive was to spend an entire semester performing research with some of the greatest legal minds of our time.
Within months of graduating, I had found an ideal position for someone of my age. I landed into a subsidiary of Cerberus Capital Management and after just three months had taken over for our Director of Salaried Staffing, a 25-? year Human Resource veteran who had taken a leave of absence for medical reasons. Over the next year I would reduce departmental costs by $800,000, implement an applicant tracking system with an annual ROI<I don't know what this is, but if it is common language for the SOP, then I guess it is OK. of over $100,000 and become the company's SME<ditto for recruiting and interviewing.
This position would eventually lead to a consulting role with xxx and more importantly, a self-discovery. Although it would seem that my career was off to a great start, I felt there was something missing. Up to this point, I hadn't<contraction again, watch that... paused to reflect upon what I actually desired out of life outside of the financial security and social standing that comes from a successful career. I had defined success in general terms and for that reason I would never achieve my true potential.
The following year would served as a sort of introspection. I came to find that my definition of happiness didn't<here too necessarily include wealth or power. When I critically analyzed what truly made me happy, I found a simple answer: a career that would allow me to improve the lives of others and that fed my intellectual curiosity.
Although this epiphany may seem to be of little improvement to my previous definition, I didn't<< have to look far for something more substantial. During this time I had been working on my graduate thesis and became enthralled with research. One particular evening, I had been sitting in a small study room at xxx Library when something clicked. After months of research, I was finally able to establish a lucid relationship between growth and environmental impact at the industry level with firm specific benefits subsequent to green investment; the supposition being a firm' s<it is "a firm" so possession is shown with a comma before the "s" relative industry position will dictate its ability to increase revenue through green initiatives. I had found the model to my thesis and more importantly, reaffirmed my passion.
The question of what, in particular, to study was an easy one. It wasn't by accident that I had found myself working in Human Resources, I just hadn't been fully aware of my intentions yet. This field allowed me to draw upon my strengths of leadership, analytical abilities and interpersonal skills as well as a proclivity toward helping others.
My specific interests seem to align most closely with those of Dr. xxx, in that I'm intrigued by the role of individual differences in personality as they pertain to reactions to behaviorally based interview questions, likelihood of an offer and success within the position and organization. I also have an interest in the efficacy of interview styles (e.g. is a day long chronological in-depth structured interview more effective than a one hour behavioral and situational based interview?).
Furthermore, I feel that it would be especially pertinent in our economic condition to determine the effects of Topgrading and layoffs on the emotional well being of employees (potentially revealing a more accurate depiction of the true costs and benefits from such strategies). Similarly, a relationship between employee well being and firm type could be looked at by comparing cultural differences in private vs. publicly owned firms, possibly highlighting a disparity in organizational growth and development that may engender long term financial success or failure of that particular firm (proposing a distinct relationship between firm ownership and investment in employee development).
These interests combined with a passion for academia are what brought me to seek a career as a researcher and professor. However, it is this programs unique, xxx approach to organizational theory that I found to be perfectly aligned with my work history, educational background and specific research interests. While my intention is to obtain a full-time tenure track teaching position, my long term goal is to take this field to a new level through research and consulting.
Although it certainly would have been advantageous for me to discover my passion at an earlier age, the indirect path that I have taken to your program has made me a stronger and more qualified student. My passion for this field has been developed over the years and my enduring nature will ensure that I will be able to overcome any obstacle I encounter along the way.
I hope that you find my combination of personal strengths, education and work history to be in line with your ideal candidate.
Jeannie
I ran out of time...watch the contractions and trite phrasing. I am not so sure about the acronyms...
I hope to be back on tomorrow to help with the rest; from what little I read, it does need revision. It will be perfect, do not worry! You have done a good job so far!
Blue skies!
Jeannie
Do You Need