The positive impact of occupational therapists on people of all ages - SOP essay

Statement of purpose Occupational Therapy

Hello! Attached is my current statement of purpose. The essay is in its final stages of revision. Personally, I think I need to talk more about myself in my SOP. I want to add more about what I have gained from my professional experience and discuss my qualifications, but my essay is already long as is and I am not sure what I should remove. I need some help determining what pieces are not necessary to include and if anything needs to be more concise. Any additional feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read!

Observing Occupational Therapists at Brookville Center for Children's Services and Belair Nursing Home have helped me gather insight to what it takes to be an Occupational Therapist and how greatly their service can improve a person's life. I had the opportunity to witness first-hand the positive impact occupational therapists had on people of all ages who have been physically and mentally impaired by a health issue, by teaching them skills and modifying their environment to regain control over their daily life. Occupational therapy incorporates my passion to help others, patience, and creativity to help someone achieve a personal goal they could not achieve previously, and create personal and individual relationships with each patient. My biggest inspiration to become an OT, however, started well before I ever shadowed in a nursing home or school but from an experience much closer to home.

During the Fall 2015 semester of my senior year, my father was hospitalized as a result of a lowered state of physical and mental health. After my father was hospitalized, he was admitted into an inpatient rehabilitation center. Witnessing my father benefit greatly from the occupational health service he was so fortunate to receive during his time in a rehab facility, cemented my desire to pursue this line of work. The first time I accompanied my father to his group occupational therapy session, I observed a small group of individuals engaging in different activities implemented by an occupational therapist. I soon learned that all the individuals in the group suffered from a common illness, however the method of addressing the illness varied by individual. I admired how a single occupational therapist designed individual treatments based on their patients interests and needs. The occupational therapist utilized her knowledge and communication skills to inform and motivate my father to continue moving forward in his improvement, so he would have a successful transition back home.

I am immensely grateful for my father's progressive recovery since Fall of 2015, and for what that experience has taught me about myself, my academics, and my desired career path as well. One thing I have learned from my father's recovery is that anything you want to accomplish in life requires work, dedication, and motivation and that giving up on your goals is never an option no matter what forces act against you. I continue to apply this positive mindset as I work towards my goal of being accepted by a graduate program and studying to become an occupational therapist, and I hope to incorporate this mindset in helping others find inner motivation as a future occupational therapist, similar to the occupational therapist who helped my father find his.

I know to become an occupational therapist academic excellence is imperative, so I would like to take the time to explain the discrepancies in my transcript. Seeing the person I care about so much struggle to engage in everyday tasks, impacted me greatly during my Fall 2015 semester. My grades suffered as a result of the struggle to excel academically versus being able to be there for my family. However, my personal experience has taught me what is needed to excel in all my responsibilities, regardless of what personal circumstances may occur simultaneously. Since graduation in May of 2016, I have utilized the time by taking prerequisite courses before applying to Occupational Therapy Graduate Programs, so forth proving my true academic potential. I truly believe that due to my passion to help others, and clear devotion and focus to achieve success, I would be an excellent candidate to your graduate program and in the occupational therapy field.

I know to become an occupational therapist academic excellence is imperative => good

Nadia, sadly, what you wrote is not a statement of purpose but rather a personal statement. Therefore, you are nowhere near the final stages of editing this essay. You need to write a statement of purpose that addresses specific elements as required for such a paper. This version is not applicable to a statement of purpose because of the personal rather than academic nature of the content. The academic content is what a SOP normally contains. A personal statement, on the other hand, contains the development of your interest in a specific course. As you can derive from what you have written, your piece has a more personal nature that deals with the development of your interest in OT. Therefore, this essay is not applicable.

Since this is a statement of purpose for a graduate program, you must focus your discussion on both your college academic and professional accomplishments and goals. For the academic side, you have to make sure that you indicate what your previous college course was that prepared you for a masters course. Any academic accomplishments during your college period will help. A clear explanation of your internship experiences in relation to OT or general nursing, with the reference to your father's experience being only one or two sentences in the presentation as that is of a more personal nature rather than academic or professional.

Give a detailed discussion of specific professional experiences that could prove that you have a professional insight into what the career of an OT is like and what you hope to improve, change, or implement to improve service in this particular area of healthcare. Prove that you have a career plan that covers 5 years at the most. This should include plans that you hope to pursue as an OT masters degree graduate.

At the end of the essay, you need to explain why you have chosen the OT masters degree program at this particular university and what influences helped you come to that decision. A highlight of this part will be the internship or training program of this university that you hope to participate in. Close the essay on a hopeful note by coming full circle in the discussion of how you envision OT practices of the future and how you hope to be the start of the next gen of OT practitioners.

Thank you so much for your feedback! Thank you for clarifying that this is a personal statement rather than a statement of purpose, I did not understand there was a difference between the two. The programs to which I am applying require a personal statement. Although the essay's purpose is to be personal in nature, would you recommend I include academic and personal accomplishments, goals and professional experiences to my essay?

You should include your professional experiences. Most specially the ones that brought you some sort of recognition working the office. That will help define your purpose to the reviewer. As for the personal accomplishments, add those only if it will help enhance your purpose. For example, if you write an article during of hours on relation to your profession and it was published in a medical journal, or something similar. Otherwise, it isn't really necessary to discuss personal accomplishments. I am not sure where you got the idea that a statement of purpose is personal in nature. That is never the purpose of that essay. That is discussed in a personal statement. Stop confusing the two. Unless there is a specific prompt requirement for the sop you forgot to share with me which is confusing you? In which case I need to read the original prompt so I can provide you with more details advice for the statement of purpose.