Please help review not just the grammar but also the letter format. I will be grateful if suggestions are given me on what more i should include. Thank you.
Dear Sir/Madam:
I am applying to the XXXX with specialization in YYYY for the educational year 2013/2014. It is my ambition to be a process control engineer and I believe that advanced training in a reputable graduate program will help actualize that dream.
My fascination with process control engineering dates back to my final year at the university. It required applying comprehensive knowledge of chemical engineering plus understanding the chemistry of reactions. I found that interesting as it was challenging and this influenced my choice of undergraduate project where I developed a controller for a biodiesel transesterification process in a Continuous Stirred Tank Reactor. All the activities of control engineering require extensive knowledge of mathematical theory. Whether it is in constructing models that fully characterize the process or solving the developed models in order to simulate and study its dynamics. Hence, to successfully practice as a control engineer, it is imperative that I possess advanced knowledge of mathematical modeling and its applications.
That is why the ZZZZ program is a lifetime opportunity for me. With a course structure that will provide me with a stronger background in mathematics and offer me the opportunity to specialize in the modeling of complex systems, I cannot imagine a more rewarding way to apply the next two years of my life. Also, for me, the program goes beyond just gaining a first-class mathematical knowledge. I get the chance to interact, exchange ideas and learn from bright minds from various parts of the world, learn the language and culture of the German and Italian people and generally see the world from a different perspective. I anticipate becoming a better mathematician, a brilliant engineer and a well-rounded human being. The program is absolutely amazing!
In the bid to be thoroughly prepared, I take out time to study the test questions uploaded on the program website to keep informed as to what the program entails and am certain that with the knowledge I have acquired both during my undergraduate course and personal study, I will excel in the program. While awaiting the opportunity to learn from experienced professionals, I have had tremendous success in studying the Riccati differential equation and I look forward to applying my results in developing more efficient control systems.
I yearn for the knowledge this course offers and if its aim is to train students who are readily open to new knowledge, prepared for any challenge and constantly trying to devise new and better means of solving problems, then you should choose me. It would be a great privilege to be a part of the Mathmods program and I am quite confident that I will match the high standard it sets. I hope the admission committee considers me for the AAAA scholarship and thus, give me the opportunity to acquire the knowledge I need to fulfill my dreams.
Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.
Sincerely,
Abia Ubong
Start the letter with "To Whom It May Concern:" instead of "Dear Sir/Madam"
"It is my ambition to be a process control engineer, and I believe that advanced training in a reputable graduate program will help actualize that dream."
I think your essay is concise, well-organized and it flows well. My only question is why do you say "I look forward to your acceptance" towards the end? Is it guaranteed that you're going to be accepted into this school? If not, change it to "I look forward to your response" or something along those lines.
