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Professional, cultural experiences, career goals, Information systems


Asmodeus4 1 / -  
Nov 17, 2022   #1
Please can I get some feedback for this essay that I put together. P.S I am not a native English speaker so some of my wordings might be different.

How have professional and cultural experiences shaped your career goals, and how will this degree help you achieve those goals?



As a young brain from a developing country like India, which suffers from numerous socioeconomic challenges, our education program is intended to motivate young minds to pursue a career in science. Our evolving society with its rapid modernization and its still-present profound roots in socialism, our education systems has engraved the sense of altruistic industrialization. As per the proverb, "Scientists study the world as it is; engineers create the world that has never been", I selected electrical engineering on journey to find a way to engineer socially conscious inclusive solutions with help of technology.

Stepping into the prestigious XYZ for EE in 2016, I was geared up to achieve. Throughout college, I plunged into volunteer work under the National service scheme to keep myself motivated and involved with society. While volunteering to teach underprivileged kids often belonging to marginalized sections of society, I discovered how information systems could help keep track of the progress of students in a country with a 1.4 billion population. Later, during my internship at XYZ healthcare in 2018, with focus on infant care. I had the opportunity to work on medical databases and signal processing using FFT analysis with this project. I found it fascinating to learn about the significance of data in this dynamic business environment.

In 2021, I made the decision to work in the R&D division as a hardware engineer for the XYZ under the Ministry of Electronics in India after graduating in order to obtain industrial experience. At the end of the day, despite working and developing cutting-edge technology for our country, it still seemed unfulfilled. My expertise and knowledge were mostly focused on computer technology and engineering, which wasn't enough for me. It became evident to me that I needed to keep up with technology if I wanted to advance my profession and become more involved with business in the quest for optimized solutions. According to the demand-supply rule, market demand at the moment is data. The volume and variety of data that businesses currently acquire is remarkable in a world where information systems are proliferating. As my professional experience grew, I came to the conclusion that understanding technical aspects alone would not be sufficient to deal with the data, make judgments, and help the business grow. I was looking for a program that builds a strong foundation between people, technology, and the organization and handles most of the business-related operations, like strategic decision-making, more efficiently. That's how I got to know about MIS. Information systems is a field that is reaping massive rewards all at once.

Fast movements in the field of information systems have left me stupefied. Having worked in the same domain for years and managing various endeavors, I accept that I have acquired congruous information and its applications and feel that I am prepared to push ahead in the field of MIS. To stay current on developments in this field and to prepare myself for the industry's regarded rules, MIS is the right course. I will be gaining better expertise that will allow me to deliver complex and innovative solutions to real-world problems soon. Seeking to truly achieve and make a name at the global level I want to launch my career with full preparation.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Nov 17, 2022   #2
It was Sonali Bendre Behl who just yesterday, in her Instagram account mentioned how children from India are strongly forced to follow career paths as chosen by their parents, forcing the child to ignore his actual potential so that his parents can be proud of him or her. Indian careers are often, according to Sonali, defined by select professions. It is a discussion based upon this same vein that the applicant should be discussing in the paragraphs that relate to cultural experiences that have helped shape his career goals.

This has to come for a personal discussion and considerations. What kind of family or caste do you come from? Are you Maharashtran, Hindi, Tamil, etc.? How did the culture of your family / caste affect the decision to enter this career? How was the career goal shaped by the family dynamic? That is not properly represented in this discussion. In fact, there is a lack of proper cultural reference in the discussion because the writer only focused on his own thoughts rather than the required cultural introduction that the reviewer is looking for.

I do not see any problem with the professional experiences in relation to the chosen career path though. It appears to be strongly explained in the essay. However, the discussion in connection with the professional aspect might need to be adjusted as it relates to the cultural discussion and the word count maximum for the presentation.


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