Why do I want to pursue Coastal Science and Policy? My passion for marine conservation

Hello,

The brief for the statement of purpose mentioned to indicate the questions as mentioned below. I decided to base the flow in a Q& A form.

Kindly comment on the content and flow

·Why are you passionate about sustainability science and policy?

My passion for marine conservation started during my various scuba diving expeditions. With every dive, I fell in love with the sea and the wonderful world within it. On my dive trips, the marine life I saw compared to the marine life I was supposed to see were worlds apart. Even though the thrill and the excitement of encountering my first ever sighting of a shark, seeing a turtle contently swimming beside me and the pop of colour from the variety of corals left me speechless, I also saw the destruction that untrammelled development had wrought. I saw corals bleached in the seas off the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, the effects of ghost fishing off the coasts of southern India, whale sharks with life threatening injuries from propellers of the boats in Maldives, less sighting of hammerheads shark where their temporal and spatial distribution was meant to be abundant. Witnessing this state of marine life made me upset. I came to the realization that marine conservation is what I want to dedicate my professional life to, and the world of business and finance couldn't do it for me anymore.

·Why do you think sustainability science and policy is especially important to the coastal regions of the world?

Sustainability science and policy is important to the coastal region of the world due to the increasing pressure from the diverse range of human activities. Over-extraction of resources and climate change are threatening the stability of coastal ecosystems. I believe we should have mitigation measures that include a balanced approach integrating scientific data and expertise with coastal governance and policy to effectively combat the effects of these threat drivers.

I wanted to fully understand how serious one aspect of this problem really was, so I decided to pay a visit to my local fishing community's landing stations in my home city (Mumbai). I was curious to learn about the fishing pressures and socio-economic structure of the local fishing community. It was during my interaction with the local fishermen I learned that one of the pressures that stood out the most was over-fishing. As they explained, there was a drop in the fish harvest over the years. Surprisingly, bycatch was becoming a booming business to provide substance for poultry feed and fish food. At a regulatory level the government is providing subsidies to incentivise the use of sustainable fishing practise, but I learned that this lacks strong monitoring and enforcement. In bargain, the marginal fishermen are losing their subsistence and our oceans are getting empty

We know that natural resources are severely limited, hence understanding the costs involved and the perceived benefits of ecosystem services will aid in the strengthening of the legal and institutional frameworks that support a sustainable development. I believe this could be achieved by implementing various mitigating measures such as: (1) Providing subsidies for using sustainable fishing techniques (2) Penalising commercial trawlers to reduce bycatch (3) Providing means of alternative livelihood for artisanal fishers (4) Strengthening the monitoring and enforcement.

·What aspect of coastal science and policy are you particularly interested in and why it is important?

It was when I started working with the development team at the Wildlife Trust of India (WTI), I became familiar with their approach and was intrigued by this strategy. Their approach for marine conservation stems from community inclusiveness and addressing changes at the policy level.

I realised while working at WTI that my interest was not so much in the minutiae of scientific research, but in ensuring the long-term protection of coastal habitats through the strategic marriage of economic analysis, scientific expertise, community participation and policy Your program would equip and strengthen my core understanding of the requirements that I would need to establish a holistic approach towards sustainability, resulting in lo ng-term tangible benefits and incentives to local stakeholders to further become guardians of the oceans.

·Describe your career aspirations.

Marine conservation efforts in India are currently at a nascent stage. My immediate objective after completing the program involve establishing a non-governmental organisation that will form in strategic partnership with coastal communities and government agencies in India to work towards a common cause. The aim will be to develop a robust framework and implementation mechanism with a focus on reducing the pressures of overfishing along India's coastline. In addition, we would raise awareness among local people and encourage them to alter their behaviour, to move towards a sustainable lifestyle.

·Why you are particularly interested in UCSC's Coastal Science & Policy Master of Science Program?

It was during an intense discussion with Sajan John, head of WTI's Marine Division, he suggested I would be a good fit for the program at UC, Santa Cruz. Upon further research on your program, I believe the content taught in the program aligns with my goals. Your program provides an interdisciplinary approach of merging science, economics and policy with a focus on coastal areas that would help me realize my professional goals. UCSC would provide the ideal climate for me to develop my interests in coastal economics and policy analysis. It would also help me advance my knowledge base and provide me with the tools needed to effectively work with scientists, communities and governments to develop credible, long-term solutions to the problems that currently beset India's coastal habitats.

·How you feel the Coastal Science & Policy Master of Science Program will better prepare you as a leader in coastal science and policy?

Although, I have already demonstrated my abilities in a leadership role throughout my career thus far, I do believe there is so much more to learn. I am not only excited about the new content and skills I would absorb from faculty members, but also learning from my peers and their experiences. I believe the program will expose me to new ideas and problem-solving skills that would have never occurred to me had I been on my own.

Over the last several years, I have worked towards gaining experience and knowledge in the field I am passionate about. I believe that my vision and the UCSC Coastal Science & Policy Master of Science Program's core mission to train candidates to identify critical threats to social and ecological systems and respond with effective alternatives are in alignment with my goals. I am interested in learning from my peers and faculty on how to effectively solve issues facing our oceans and putting our ideas into action.

·Why you feel you are an excellent candidate for one of ten individuals accepted to the program each year?

Based on my experiences as a leader & entrepreneur, I am acutely aware of the challenges to successfully establish a business, manage costs and execute plans. I have already worked with rural communities as a part of my vision for my business and I understand the diplomatic approach required to effectively communicate and negotiate with local individuals and government organizations. I've also been grateful to have had experience working with various NGOs where I was able to effectively help them in research and budget creation (this was a result of my business experience).

While working in various capacities of fund- raising, I have been able to develop my skill set and can convince target donors to come on board for a given cause. I also developed an understanding on cultural differences within each region while working at various NGOs, which has equipped me with the knowledge of successfully addressing cultural differences that may arise during my work in the future.

I can only comment on the content and not on the flow because you did not present it in essay form, which would have my reviewing job easier. Unfortunately, you chose an ill effective method of presentation, which means I will only offer you the advice applicable to the format you chose. How you connect the paragraphs, will be solely up to you. You will have to develop the transition sentences and paragraphs. I cannot help you with that because of the Q&A format that you chose to present your response as.

1. What you are showing is not a passion. It is only a development of your interest. A passion should show how you were spurred to do something, no matter how simple, in response to the devastation you saw. A passionate person would have emerged from the exposure with an idea of how to solve the problem in his own way. The passion should be felt and read in an over all, implied manner in the whole essay.

2. The first paragraph is a tired definition of sustainable science and policy. That is the standard response that everyone who applies for this course gives. Try to look within you for your personal definition. Don't go for textbook responses that will not help the essay stand out. One way that you can make this response stand out is by attaching the importance of sustainable science and policy to the situation in the beach areas of Mumbai. Give a personal insight regarding the effects of over-fhishing and how natural sources must be preserved in order to make sure that the natural sea sources are preserved for generations to come. Your policy ideas will help make this paragraph stand out.

3. Your response is not appropriate. You are not being asked to discuss what you learned as a member of WTI, you are are being asked to discuss a specific marine conservation policy or coastal science regulation that you feel is overlooked but is of vital importance to protecting the marine environment. What sort of strategic marriage of analysis, expertise, and policy attracted you to the course? Use a specific rule or instance. YOu should not discuss what you expect the program to provide for you at that point because that is not part of the prompt question. Offer only answers related to the questions being asked. Do not be generic and hope that it fits the question. Research. Look for specific policies you can cite in response to the question in order to add authority to your response.

4. Your career aspirations could use a method of development in its presentation. What agency do you hope to join after completing the program in relation to your career aims? How do you see yourself helping the coastal regions of India over the first 5 years of your career? How far do you hope to progress in terms of career networking to make these a reality? For example, After graduation, I plan to join xxx where I can effect a change in 2x. 3 years down the line, I should be working as a liaison officer at ccc agency where I will influence the xxxx. After 5 years, my positions as a vvvv will prepare me for a PhD level of study in bbbb.

5. If Sajan is not writing you a recommendation letter, don't include his name as a reference in the essay. He may not be able to support your claim of knowing him if you don't have permission to mention him. Even if you don't mention him, your belief in the program and how it aligns with your goals is enough to prove your interest in the program.

6. Your documents should prove your leadership abilities. There is no reason for you to repeat that in response to the question. You need to show a familiarity with the program that will prove that you can be trained for a specific leadership role by the program. Which subjects can do that? What training or internship? What collaborations does the university offer which will mold you into the authority you hope to become? Prove that you know what the course demands of you and that you are capable of delivering the requirements in order to complete the program.

7. Your final response does not stand out. There is no remarkable achievement present on your end that will tell the reviewer that you are better qualified than the other candidates. Your achievements are too general and could be attributed to every other candidate applying for admission. You need a stand out accomplishment in this section to prove that you are a one in a million kind of student who will add to the importance, visibility, and renown of the program. How can you, as a student, help to improve the current quality of the program and how can you be of important use during your time as a student and thereafter? Your response to these questions will help your candidacy stand out from the pack.

Hi I have modified it as per your feedback, let me know your thoughts.

I once belonged to that clan of self-righteous armchair conservationists who believe there is only one approach to addressing environmental issues - to summarily cease all activities that can harm the environment.

My passion for marine conservation arose from my scuba diving expeditions. With every dive, I fell in love with the sea and the wonderful world within it. On my dive trips, the marine life I saw compared to the marine life I was supposed to see was worlds apart. The thrill and the excitement of encountering my first ever sighting of a shark, seeing a turtle contently swimming beside me and the pop of colour from the variety of corals left me speechless. On the flip side, with every dive, I also saw the destruction that untrammelled development had wrought: corals bleached in the seas off the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, or the effects of ghost fishing off the coasts of southern India, whale sharks with life-threatening injuries from propellers of the boats in Maldives, fewer sighting of hammerheads shark where their temporal and spatial distribution was meant to be abundant.

There was a burning desire to accomplish something, I trudged along to equip myself with experience and knowledge. I went about addressing this whenever the opportunity presented itself. For instance, I volunteered with ReefWatch, a marine conservation outfit that works with fishing communities on reducing plastic waste and educating children about the benefits of protecting the oceans. I also joined the development team at Wildlife Trust of India (WTI), so I could gain knowledge of various conservation strategies.

It was an article I read that left me flabbergasted about fishing boats returning empty. Quoting the article, Satish, a fishermen states 'It's a risky profession. If 20 boasts leave for fishing on a given day only one gets a good catch, while the others suffer. I hope our boat is the one to the bounty on Wednesday' (Source: Fishing boats return empty-handed, Raghava M, The Hindu, April 12, 2017). I understand the theoretical definition of 'Sustainable Science', but it occurred to me that my generation might be the last to witness a share of the species or still have a bare minimum sustenance from the oceans. There is an urgent need to move away from a toxic relationship with over consumption and move towards artisanal fishing techniques.

To fully comprehend the seriousness of this problem, I decided to pay a visit to my local fishing community's landing stations in my home city (Mumbai). It was during casual interactions with local fishermen, they explained, there was a drop in the fish harvest over the years. Surprisingly, bycatch was becoming a booming business to provide substance for poultry feed and fish food. We know that natural resources are severely limited, there is a dire need to understand the costs involved and the perceived benefits of ecosystem services, there is always an ancillary business coming up when primary takes a hit. In this case it was the ancillary business which had picked up was bycatch which would further deplete our oceans of non-target species.

It got me thinking that while persuading the fishermen to adopt sustainable techniques of fishing there was a need of policy level interventions to ensure successful implementation of sustainable development. this could be achieved by implementing various mitigating measures such as: (1) Providing subsidies for using sustainable fishing techniques (2) Penalising commercial trawlers to reduce bycatch (3) Providing means of alternative livelihood for artisanal fishers (4) Strengthening the monitoring and enforcement.

The aspect of strategic marriage of scientific research, economic analysis and policy is what drew my attention towards the integration of coastal science with policy. While ensuring a holistic science based approach to provide economic stability to the underrepresented community as well as a chance for the target specie to thrive. Citing an example of a policy move in the state of Odisha, the government has imposed a 7-month ban on fishing to protect olive ridley turtles during the breeding season. While the government has ensured measures to make up a loss for livelihood the ban affected only trawlers and fishermen that used unsustainable techniques which could harm the turtle, the ban is not imposed on traditional fishermen that operate close to the shoreline with their indigenous nets (Source: Odisha imposes 7-month ban on fishing to protect Olive Ridley turtles, Kendrapara, The Indian Express, November 1, 2017). It's extremely important to establish an inclusive approach towards sustainability, resulting in long-term tangible benefits and incentives to local stakeholders to further become guardians of the oceans.

It's this culmination of all these factors that is encouraging me to apply for the of 'Coastal Science and Policy (CS&P) at UC Santa Cruz, with an aim to establish a non-governmental organisation that will work in partnership with coastal communities and government agencies in India. I want to develop a robust framework and implementation mechanism with a focus on reducing the pressures of overfishing along India's coastline, while raising awareness among local people to change their behaviour and move towards a sustainable lifestyle.

It was during a discussion with Sajan John, the head of WTI's Marine Division, on my options to establish myself in this field that he suggested I should explore the offerings of the CS&P program. UCSC would provide the ideal climate for me to develop my interests in coastal economics and policy analysis, and develop the knowledge base and tools required for me to effectively work with scientists, communities and governments to develop credible, long-term solutions to the problems that currently beset India's coastal habitats.

I believe that my vision and the UCSC CS&P program's core mission to train candidates to identify critical threats to social and ecological systems and respond with effective alternatives and its interdisciplinary approach merging science, economics and policy with a focus on coastal areas are in alignment with my goals. The internship opportunity will let me test my knowledge & skill to real world situations. They will help me develop a unique skill set which will help me achieve my dream of working towards protecting coastal habitats in my home country.

Once I stood on the sidelines and pontificated. Over the last several years, however, I have concertedly and demonstrably worked towards gaining experience and knowledge in the field I am passionate about. While I am equipping myself with more focused theoretical knowledge in coastal science & policy, my diverse experiences provide me with a strong base to take on the challenges of the course, therefore, that I am an excellent candidate for this program.

The first line about the arm chair conservationists is not necessary. Did you notice that you just said that without actually developing a convincing discussion or connecting it properly to any aspect of the required information from the prompt? Exactly. Stop forcing a piece of irrelevant information into the essay. It does not help move the essay forward and only hinders a smooth development of the discussion presentation. Your family participation, when told as a forced part of the essay because there is no real relevance to their participation on the development of your interest, creates a vacuum of information in the essay. That is because the family information is a lie. As a fictitious piece of information, it will not help to heighten the interest in your essay. It does not even work as a hook to interest the reviewer at this point. Stop trying to add it in. You don't need to. Just present accurate facts.

Speaking of accurate facts, don't treat this essay as a research paper with sources included as an in-text citation. Everything must be paraphrased into your own experience and understanding of the prompt requirements. You are not being scored on the accuracy of your presentation. You are being judged on how your experience, both practical and theoretical, created the mindset that you have in relation to coastal science and policy. That is why the use of cited information becomes nothing more but a diversion from the actual discussion. You can still use the article, but you need to speak about it in terms of how it enlightened you regarding the problem. A summarized presentation, with an extensive personal application is what will make that information useful to your essay.

When you present the 7 month ban information, you should make sure that you present a modified version which will apply to your own project or possible policy presentation and how it applies to your interest in policy making for the coastal regions. Less reference to the original law and more reference to how it can be modified to be more relevant and applicable to current times.

The rest of the essay is acceptable and can be used as it is. Just make sure to create a smooth revision based upon the observations I made above.

Thanks Holt I am trying to understand the refernce of family participation you made. There is no mention of family in this essay. Please elaborate on it

got be great if i got clarity on the sbove

Here is an extra advice. Normally we would not give one unless you help other students, please ;)

I am making reference to the opening paragraph that indicates; "I once belonged to that clan of self-righteous armchair conservationists ..." The term "clan" pertains to, by definition, "a group of families or households,". Since the essay makes reference to a family background for your interests, the reviewer will take the opening statement as a reference to the collective mindset and action of your family. That does not work in this sort of essay. It is either you refer directly to your family in reference to the important information required in the essay or you do not refer to it at all.

By indicating a "clan", that means that your family reacts to environmental problems in that manner. Which, you are now saying, is not what you are referring to. In order to avoid confusion on the part of the reviewer, it will be best if you remove that paragraph instead. You do not need to replace it with anything or any other statement. Your second paragraph makes a very strong opening statement should you decide to use it as such.

Thank You, I was very confused, as I had referenced my family in my personal statement. But I really appreciate all the help you have provided. it's definately made my essay much stronger. and yes I have used it as is.