Please help to read my letter and comment frankly.
Letter of Self-Introduction
When I was 12 years-old, I met Japanese man. He moved to live next to my home. He was generous kind and had a soul of teaching. We were language exchanged partner. I started studying Japanese from him since that age. I continued studying until I graduated in bachelor degree majoring in Japanese. In my university life, the faculty I studied was opened for foreigners and also cultural exchanging. In addition, curriculum structure, I gained a lot of knowledge about others countries culture and lifestyle.
My university is well-known for unique fashionable styles. If someone heard about my university, they would think of the bizarre dressing styles of the students. Also, if we walked in the public, people would recognize where we were studying by our fashion. I could say that this was the most impressive part in my academic life.
After achieving my undergraduate degree in Japanese major, I was given the opportunity to work with one of the world leading sportswear brand, xxx Corporation. It was the turning point of my life. Sometimes, the fact that I started in languages but I ended up in fashion was amazed me. I could performed well in the different field which I had never learned before. Nevertheless, I believed lifestyle in university that affected me to have a good performance and optimistic in the apparel field.
Now I am in charge for all responsibilities of sampling and planning for Running, Tennis and Casual Wearing products. My main affairs are engaging in idea creativity, material selection and construction, material sourcing, product testing and more. I coordinate with factories to create prototypes, test colors, refine construction and fitting. I have to ensure that there are appreciated materials, the correct size spec and also acceptable price will be effective on every products according to sales and designers requirements. Meanwhile, I have to manage materials', suppliers' capacity and abilities to make the products will be fit to company's events and new products launched time.
Apart from that, it is necessary to keep updating of market trends, team goals, new innovation and consumer's needs throughout the development process. I also recommended to design team to enhance sales quantities. It is very interesting and challenging job for me. Especially, when I went to seasonal meeting which all concerned teams would join such as development team, sales team and design team. We was brainstorming to achieve the best products based on brand concept and limited lead time.
Having experienced for 3 years, I acknowledged in garment industry. Exclusively in apparel development and merchandising. As I have learned for development process of sportswear apparel, design will be finalized at least 2 years in advance and 6 months in advance for casual wearing. So, what could commercialize the product profitably, the answer should be how the company debut their products into the markets, how the company present to customers about the products. We call it globally as "Marketing". Sometimes, it will be comprehended that marketing is only one factor of sale, but from my view point, good marketing makes the products look worth buying. The attractive products make a good profitable sale. I realize that besides of design image, marketing methods also influence the customers' decision. Since then, I am fully interested in fashion management business.
I know that South Korea is one of the most important and largest economies in the world. Nowadays, South Korea is extremely popular in fashion not only in Asia but throughout the world. The most distinguished sample of successful marketing should be Seoul Fashion Week. It is strongly getting popular and becoming the world's popular ranking event in term of fashion show. I absorbed Korean fashions from all multimedia and news. It is very impressive when I see the consequence of their marketing method that make Korean styles to be outstanding in international market. Besides of fashion marketing, I have passion in Korean languages and culture as well. I have many Korean friends. We regularly shared the languages, cultures and lifestyle. Thus, I am quite confident that I could adapt myself to Korean culture simply.
My motivation to apply for this program is created by my ambition to achieve a master degree in the field of fashion marketing. From my high passion in this field, I have surveyed the master program of fashion marketing at xxx University. I am sure that the courses I will be given from there, will fulfill my eagerness to enhance my knowledge in fashion industry. I am certain that South Korea, as a leading fashion based country, is a perfect place for me to gain applicable skills and help to shape me into an professionally fashion marketer.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652
Prapisiri, you need to write a totally new essay because this current essay doesn't provide the KGSP requirements for a self introduction letter. For starters, while I understand the influence that the Japanese man had in your life, it is not his influence upon you that you have to present. Rather, you should save that influence for the discussion of your point of view about life and how you developed it. You will have to revise the paragraph to indicate a point of view rather than an influence but I think you can make it work for that purpose. For the course of life, you have to introduce your family background and how that family has helped you become the person you are today. Explain the influence of your parents and the role that they played in your decision to pursue your college degree.
Then, explain the course of education that you took in college. Name the university, your major, any relevant awards or recognition you had, along with your possible internship programs that helped you to gain employment at this apparel company. For the discussion about your professional experience, you have to relate that back to your college degree and then, explain why you feel that you need to gain a masters degree in order to continue pursuing or growing in the global marketing field of your company. By explaining these information, you will be able to accurately portray your motivation for your higher studies. Your current motivation is shallow and misplaced in the essay. Always follow the presentation as per the prompt indications so the reviewer can keep track of what he is reading.
You can say those two sentences in one sentence - When I was 12 years old, I met a Japanese man who lived next to my home.
According to my opinion, I think the 2nd paragraph is not necessary. I feel you wrote it to get started about your career in fashion industry. I think you should keep it short and directly connect it to how you got the job because of that fact because it is quite unclear.
I feel that the discussion about your career is too long and try to explain why you chose your current job which has no relevancy to your bachelor's degree.
hope these will be helpful.