statement which includes the following:
Why do you want to undertake graduate work?
Why do you qualify to pursue a graduate degree at Virginia Tech?
What do you expect to derive from your program of study?
If you have a concentration or area of interest in mind, briefly outline your interests in this area.
What do you expect to contribute as a student and subsequently as a member of the profession?
If you have not previously indicated in your application the names of faculty members you are interested in working
Would you please help me with grammar, word choice and conciseness. Thanks in advance
Experiencing 68 °C heat in M campus of UT seemed a logical reason for my peers to never apply there. However, the campus seemed a perfect place to me for other reason: fulfilling my ambitions of working as a Polymer Engineering (PE) apprentice in one of the largest chemical industrial zone in x to figure out a number of important unsolved problems about polymers.
Although it took me a while to adopt to the harsh conditions of M, I aced the highest mark in most of the courses and ranked 2nd among about 50 students. My outstanding performance and diligent attitude towards my studies has drawn one of the tier 1 professors' attention in UT, Prof. N, and he became my advisor. While many undergraduate students took PE project for course credits, I had an intense aspiration to strengthen my laboratory skills before graduate studies. I developed my passion for research on structure-property relationships of polymer nanocomposites. For instance, I investigated the effect of Organoclay on the rheological and thermal behaviors of polycarbonate (PC) and optimized the melt flow of PC/Organoclay nanocomposites.
Considered as an exceptionally talented student, I have received an offer by our department to continue my graduate studies as an M.Sc. student, without taking national university entrance exam. One of the major challenges during my research on foaming of PLA/Organoclay bio-nanocomposites was to prevent prefoaming of with Chemical Foaming Agent during mixing. Our laboratory extruder was not equipped with scCO2 injector and I was the first Prof. N's student who conducted this research. I explored several options during 3 months to overcome this challenge, but all of them failed. However, instead of setting a new deadline, I tried to ignite my curiosity and thinking for a novel way. Finally, adding Epoxidized Soybean Oil as a bio-sourced plasticizer was a novel exploratory approach which not only prevented the prefoaming of materials, but also opened up new directions for me and led to a patentable research.
The three years I spent in prof. N lab were crucial in shaping my career. I joined the R&D center of ITT where my experiences of familiarity with PLA hone my ability to integrate the same engineering techniques into our blends of commercial Starch masterbatch with Polypropylene: The low impact strength of our masterbaches was a major downside of them being used in packaging applications which has been overcome by adding ESO. I strived to continue to pursue my career as a polymer engineer for a plastic company where I was engineering automotive plastics materials made of PVC in vehicle's exterior parts. Understanding the key principals of my courses like "plastic engineering" gave me a very strong grounding to troubleshoot extrusion problems in processing of PVC Compounds.
My recent researches on various polymers proved to me that my academic participation in an industry-related project has a positive effect on my career. In particular, I believe industrial problems will be addressed more effectively in an interdisciplinary environment. Therefore, playing a leading role in the development of innovative materials for nano-enabled applications made me more determined to pursue the interdisciplinary graduate program of Macromolecular Science and Engineering program (MSE) at (VT). Moreover, the scholarly orientation of MSE is broadly compatible with my own. I am particularly interested in the possibility of working with Dr. x, Dr. y, Dr. z, Dr. f or Dr. g who make MSE my top choice.
After completing my PhD studies, I am highly motivated to initiate and expand sustainable polymer research network with the large community of interdisciplinary Iranian expertise through the aid of the Office of International Research, Education, and Development (OIRED) at VT and environmental practitioners in companies of x. I believe, my goal-oriented approach toward research and solution-seeking orientation in the development, processing and preparation of nanocomposites, with preferred emphasis on biopolymer technology makes MSE program at VT a perfect fit for me.
Zara, while I can understand why you would want to refer the reviewer to all of the lab work and research that you did at AU, after all, you have 2 pages to fill, I do not feel that you have strongly developed the research and lab work discussion. As I read the essay, I felt like you were writing the essay in a rush and not really focusing on the quality of the essay, but rather the quantity of the information you can deliver. As a student of higher studies, I feel that I have to warn you about this. You must concentrate more on the quality of the information you are delivering instead of the quantity. You might notice that i often tell the other students to simply pick their strongest lab work and research project for development in their essays. There is a reason behind that statement of mine.
If you opt to just discuss your strongest points in a detailed manner, you have the opportunity to create a memorable impression with the reviewer. Therefore, your aim should be to make sure that you present your most unique research, regardless of whether it has already been completed or not. Most universities are looking for students who have an aim to continue their research at the university because it heightens the university profile in journals and other publications when you finally complete the work. Make sure that you present your research that shows the most potential for future research.
As for the lab work, I would like you to retain the part about the challenge that you faced during lab work. This type of information reflects your ability and preparation for MS studies in such a manner that gives you a solid foundation in terms of an ability that qualifies you for studies at VT. By the way, I think you were not able to accurately represent "What do you expect to contribute as a student and subsequently as a member of the profession?" in the discussion. I am not sure if I missed it or you accidentally forgot to discuss it in the essay.
The rest of the essay seems to be sufficient at the moment. That opinion could change depending upon how your revised essay comes across. I hope you have enough time to work with me on this essay before you have to submit it :-) It may not be a simple editing job after all.
Dear Louisa, I don't know how to thank you for your insightful ideas on my essays :)
Writing this SoP took me 3 weeks, however it needs more edition as you said. here is my corrections according to your suggestion (it exceeded the 2 pages limit, though):
Experiencing 68 °C heat in M campus of UT seemed a logical reason for my peers to never apply there. However, the campus seemed a perfect place to me for other reason: fulfilling my ambitions of working as a Polymer Engineering (PE) apprentice in one of the largest chemical industrial zone in x to figure out a number of important unsolved problems about polymers.
Although it took me a while to adopt to the harsh conditions of M, I aced the highest mark in most of the courses and ranked 2nd among about 50 students. My outstanding performance and diligent attitude towards my studies has drawn one of the tier 1 professors' attention in UT, prof. N., so that I could cooperate with him to strengthen my laboratory skills before attending graduate school. I developed my passion for research on structure-property relationships of polymers by optimizing the melt flow of Polycarbonate (PC)/Organoclay nanocomposite.
Considered as an exceptionally talented student, I have received an offer by our department to continue my graduate studies as an M.Sc. student, without taking national university entrance exam.(I need a conjunction here)One of the major challenges I encountered was to prevent prefoaming of poly (lactic acid)/Organoclay during mixing with chemical foaming agents (CFA). Regarding that our laboratory extruder was not equipped with scCO2 injector, I had to use CFA. I explored a number of factors contributed to the decomposition of CFA, but all of them failed. However, instead of setting a new deadline, I tried to ignite my curiosity and thinking for a new material design.
Finally, adding Epoxidized Soybean Oil (ESO) as a bio-sourced plasticizer was a novel exploratory approach which not only prevented the prefoaming of my samples, but also opened up new research directions for me. ESO, in combination with Organoclay resulted in a considerable enhancement in toughness of nanocomposite samples. Based on such results, I awarded a scholarship for development of biobased packaging materials from Iran Small Industries and Industrial Organization which is also led to a patentable research.
Being able to tackle the research hurdles through creativity and problem solving, I also volunteered to mentor two undergraduate students project on chemical crosslinking of PLA/ESO blend. Although, undergraduate projects are not funded, I managed the team to take several thermal, rheological and mechanical tests before the deadline.
The three years of enjoyable researches in prof. N laboratory put me in a very strong position in the R&D center of ITT where my experiences of familiarity with PLA hone my ability to integrate the same engineering techniques into our blends of commercial Starch masterbatch with Polypropylene: The low impact strength of our masterbaches was a major downside of them being used in packaging applications which has been overcome by adding ESO.
Having such experiences, now I strongly believe my academic participation in an industry-related project has a positive effect on my career. Therefore, as a student playing a leading role in the development of innovative materials for nano-enabled applications makes me more determined to pursue Macromolecular Science and Engineering program (MSE) at (VT). In particular, I believe industrial problems will be addressed more effectively by participating in the interdisciplinary program of MSE. In addition, the scholarly orientation of MSE is broadly compatible with my own. I am particularly interested in the possibility of working with Dr. , Dr. , Dr. , Dr. or Dr. who make MSE my top choice.
After completing my PhD studies at VT, I am highly motivated to initiate and expand a sustainable polymer research network with the large community of interdisciplinary x expertise at VT and practitioners in x plastics companies. I believe, my goal-oriented approach toward research and solution-seeking orientation in the development, processing and preparation of nanocomposites, with preferred emphasis on biopolymer technology makes MSE program at VT a perfect fit for me.
following my last post, the answer to this question : What do you expect to contribute as a student and subsequently as a member of the profession?" " lies in these sentences: (should I directly address the answer?)
Therefore, as a student playing a leading role in the development of innovative materials for nano-enabled applications makes me more determined to pursue Macromolecular Science and Engineering program (MSE) at (VT).
fter completing my PhD studies at VT, I am highly motivated to initiate and expand a sustainable polymer research network with the large community of interdisciplinary x expertise at VT and practitioners in x plastics companies.
Zara, I am still trying to work out the kinks in your essay. However, I was able to edit it down to 417 words. Would you mind reviewing it and letting me know if you think I was able to get a bit close to the information that you hope to present in this essay? I am not familiar with the PE world so I guess we will need to assist each other with this one :-) Here is what I have come up with so far:
Experiencing 68 °C heat in M campus of UT seemed a logical reason for my peers to never apply there. However, the campus seemed a perfect place to me for other reason: fulfilling my ambitions of working as a Polymer Engineering (PE) apprentice in one of the largest chemical industrial zone in x to figure out a number of important unsolved problems about polymers.
My outstanding performance and diligent attitude towards my studies drew one of the tier 1 professors' attention in UT, prof. N., with whom I interned as a method of developing my passion for research on structure-property relationships of polymers by optimizing the melt flow of Polycarbonate (PC)/Organoclay nanocomposite.
Considered as an exceptionally talented student, I received an offer to continue my graduate studies as an M.Sc. student, without taking the qualifying national university entrance exam.
The three years of enjoyable researches in prof. N's laboratory put me in a very strong position in the R&D center of ITT where my experiences of familiarity with PLA honed my ability to integrate the same engineering techniques into our blends of commercial Starch masterbatch with Polypropylene: The low impact strength of our masterbaches was a major downside of them being used in packaging applications which was overcome by adding ESO.
I strongly believe my academic participation in an industry-related project has a positive effect on my career. Therefore, as a student playing a leading role in the development of innovative materials for nano-enabled applications makes me more determined to pursue Macromolecular Science and Engineering program (MSE) at (VT). In particular, I believe industrial problems will be addressed more effectively by participating in the interdisciplinary program of MSE. In addition, the scholarly orientation of MSE is broadly compatible with my own. I am particularly interested in the possibility of working with Dr. , Dr. , Dr. , Dr. or Dr. who make MSE my top choice.
After completing my PhD studies at VT, I am highly motivated to initiate and expand a sustainable polymer research network with the large community of interdisciplinary x expertise at VT and practitioners in x plastics companies. I believe, my goal-oriented approach toward research and solution-seeking orientation in the development, processing and preparation of nanocomposites, with preferred emphasis on biopolymer technology makes MSE program at VT a perfect fit for me.
Therefore, as a student playing a leading role in the development of innovative materials for nano-enabled applications makes me more determined to pursue Macromolecular Science and Engineering program (MSE) at (VT).
Dear Louisa, many thanks for your time and your thoughtful comments, I really appreciate it :) Here is what I think :
Although it took me a while to adopt to the harsh conditions of M, I aced the highest mark in most of the courses and ranked 2nd among about 50 students. Here, I wanted to point out that my grades at the 1st two semesters were low and then after the third semester raised. I thought that pointing out to my class rank would be eye catching! in this case, I don't know whether I should delete this line or not?!
My outstanding performance and diligent attitude towards my studies has drawn one of the tier 1 professors' attention in UT, prof. N., so that I could cooperate with him >> Prof. N is my adviser , but I couldn't find another appropriate word instead of cooperate
(I need a conjunction here)One of the major challenges I encountered was to prevent prefoaming of poly (lactic acid)/Organoclay during mixing with chemical foaming agents (CFA). Regarding that our laboratory extruder was not equipped with scCO2 injector, I had to use CFA. I explored a number of factors contributed to the decomposition of CFA, but all of them failed. However, instead of setting a new deadline, I tried to ignite my curiosity and thinking for a new material design.
Finally, adding Epoxidized Soybean Oil (ESO) as a bio-sourced plasticizer was a novel exploratory approach which not only prevented the prefoaming of my samples, but also opened up new research directions for me. ESO, in combination with Organoclay resulted in a considerable enhancement in toughness of nanocomposite samples. Based on such results, I awarded a scholarship for development of biobased packaging materials from Iran Small Industries and Industrial Organization which is also led to a patentable research.Being able to tackle the research hurdles through creativity and problem solving, I also volunteered to mentor two undergraduate students project on chemical crosslinking of PLA/ESO blend. Although, undergraduate projects are not funded, I managed the team to take several thermal, rheological and mechanical tests before the deadline.
Here, I explained one of the problems during my experiments on PLA/Organoclay foaming and how I could handle it >>> I brought this example to point out to my problem-solving, meeting the deadlines, team management by mentoring two undergad students and my scholarship.
In the next paragraph I tried to highlight my ability to use the results of my previous graduate research on PLA/ESO in ITT company.
The VT essay should be double-spaced and 1-2 pages, but my essay has nearly 70 extra words extends it to 3 pages! According to my explanations, I would like to know which paragraph can be omitted and seems to have the least impression on committee reviewers
Zara, see if this 2 page version of your essay works well for you already. Let me know wha tyou think so we can discuss and edit further is necessary :-) I already divided the essay into paragraphs for you.
Experiencing 68 °C heat in M campus of UT seemed a logical reason for my peers to never apply there. However, the campus seemed a perfect place to me for other reason: fulfilling my ambitions of working as a Polymer Engineering (PE) apprentice in one of the largest chemical industrial zone in x to figure out a number of important unsolved problems about polymers.
My outstanding performance and diligent attitude towards my studies drew the attention of one of the tier 1 professors' in UT, prof. N. I took the opportunity to cooperate with him tin order to strengthen my laboratory prior to graduate school. I developed my passion for research on structure-property relationships of polymers by optimizing the melt flow of Polycarbonate (PC)/Organoclay nanocomposite during this time.
Considered as an exceptionally talented student, I have an offer from our department to continue my graduate studies as an M.Sc. student. That is the other reason why I wish to attend graduate school.
One of the major challenges I encountered in the laboratory setting of Prof. N. was the prevention of the prefoaming of poly (lactic acid)/Organoclay during mixing with chemical foaming agents (CFA). Our laboratory extruder was not equipped with scCO2 injector so I had to use CFA. I explored a number of factors that contributed to the decomposition of CFA, but all of them failed. However, instead of setting a new deadline, I tried to ignite my curiosity and thinking for a new material design.
Finally, adding Epoxidized Soybean Oil (ESO) as a bio-sourced plasticizer which prevented the prefoaming of my samples and also opened up new research directions for me. ESO, in combination with Organoclay resulted in a considerable enhancement in toughness of nanocomposite samples. Based on these results, I awarded a scholarship for development of biobased packaging materials from Iran Small Industries and Industrial Organization which is also led to a patentable research.
The three years of enjoyable researches in prof. N laboratory put me in a very strong position in the R&D center of ITT where my experiences of familiarity with PLA hone my ability to integrate the same engineering techniques into our blends of commercial Starch masterbatch with Polypropylene: The low impact strength of our masterbaches was a major downside of them being used in packaging applications which has been overcome by adding ESO.
Having such experiences, I strongly believe my academic participation in an industry-related project has a positive effect on my career. Therefore, as a student playing a leading role in the development of innovative materials for nano-enabled applications makes me more determined to pursue Macromolecular Science and Engineering program (MSE) at (VT) , I believe industrial problems will be addressed more effectively by participating in the interdisciplinary program of MSE. In addition, the scholarly orientation of MSE is broadly compatible with my own. I am particularly interested in the possibility of working with Dr. , Dr. , Dr. , Dr. or Dr. who make MSE my top choice.
After completing my PhD studies at VT, I will initiate and expandupon a a sustainable polymer research network with the large community of interdisciplinary x expertise at VT and practitioners in x plastics companies. I believe, my goal-oriented approach toward research and solution-seeking orientation in the development, processing and preparation of nanocomposites, with preferred emphasis on biopolymer technology makes MSE program at VT a perfect fit for me.
wow! You are great, Louisa :) :) :) Thanks a lot for your help, you are very kind :) :) :) -- This last draft is just perfect - Thanks again
Dear Louisa, I have another statement which is the same as VT statement, but I divided it to two parts ( as what MSU university wants: personal and academic) -( for other universities I just need to change the research areas of faculties or names )- I tried to use examples of my career and academic experiences in both statements , but I'm not sure if it will work out for personal statement?!! would you please provide me with your feedback on this one?