SOP for PhD in mechanical/industrial engineering

I have short listed a couple of schools to apply for PhD in ME or IE, depending on the schools. Before I post a rough draft of my SOP, I just wanted to know if its ok for a SOP to be around two pages. Though I initially though of make it concise, I feel it might not deliver the point I am putting through. and also why I want to do PhD in this field. Thoughts?

The SOP must be concise and it is okay for it to be two pages. In other words, two pages is fine if and only if that's how long you need to say what you want to say in direct, concise prose. If, on the other hand, you sprawl onto a second page not due to a plenitude of content but because your paragraphs are full of empty phrases, wordy sentences, and filler, that is not okay.

Thank you for the quick reply. That does make a lot of sense. I will post my rough draft in a day or so. Thanks again

And don't forget that your statement of purpose should deal with what you hope to accomplish in your PhD. A fair number of the SOPs people post here end up not really discussing the authors' purpose at all, which is clearly a problem for them.

Ok so I did manage to write my SOP in one page. I suppose I didnt have much to say after all :). I have posted the rough draft below. This draft is for Northeastern University and the research part will change a bit according to the schools i apply to but the crux would remain the same.

The number of fields to select as a career are enormous. To find that ideal field in today's world is like finding a needle in a haystack. However, for me it was always clear. I wanted to be a part of an industry that was an important part of every other business, and this is why I wanted to be a part of the manufacturing industry. From information technology to pharmaceutical sciences, if you had a product, manufacturing was a prominent part of your business. This is exactly the reason why I chose to get a Bachelor of Engineering in Production Engineering at D. J. Sanghvi College of Engineering, Mumbai University.

Through my bachelors, I was able to learn different key aspects of production through subjects like Manufacturing Engineering, Production Management, Total Quality Management and Productivity Techniques. Apart from the theoretical knowledge, I gained invaluable practical knowledge through the internship at Godrej & Boyce Manufacturing Ltd. I got the opportunity to work at the tool room at Godrej, one of Asia's leading tool rooms. During my tenure, I got hands on training in the industry, however, what caught my eye was the delays in a lot of projects due to lack of resource allocation, and improper time management leading to heavy loses. If this was the position of one of the leading manufacturing plants in Asia, there was a lot to be concerned about. With the western countries offloading majority of production orders to India and China, such loses could definitely not be tolerated.

This situation encouraged me to get my Master of Science in Engineering Management at Northeastern University. The rigorous curriculum at Northeastern enabled me to get knowledge about the core aspects of manufacturing. Through subjects like Operations Research, Engineering Project Management and Logistics, Warehousing & Scheduling, I was able to enhance my knowledge of the field. I even took up subjects like Economic Decision Making and Financial Management for Engineers so that I would be able to understand projects from a financial point of view as well.

Though my masters degree has given me a lot of information regarding project management and manufacturing, I would like to learn more and do research in the Just-in-time (JIT) strategy, and also Material Requirements Planning (MRP) and Manufacturing Resource Planning (MRP II). I believe that these strategies and practices can prove crucial in reducing loses in companies like Godrej, and also in the Asian manufacturing industry. Through my research, I would like to reinstate the importance of JIT and MRP, which seems to be on a decline in this generation, and prove that these methods can prove critical in manufacturing. Prof. Surendra Gupta's research on these topics is something I am particularly looking forward to working on.

I truly enjoyed my time at Northeastern University as a masters student and would love to come back for a doctorate degree. I hope that you will give my application due consideration and humbly request the admission committee to consider my application for available financial assistance in the department. I hope to hear favorably from you soon.

"The number of fields to select as a career are enormous. To find that ideal field in today's world is like finding a needle in a haystack. However, for me it was always clear. "

I'd put the rest of your first paragraph in the present tense.

The rest of your SOP seems to do everything an SOP should do. You could probably rephrase a few sentences here and there for conciseness, but you are on the right track. Try editing out about 10% of the word count.

So do you think the SOP as a whole is wordy or its just that that sentences tend to drag on for too long? I mean should I cut out a few sentences if possible or just rephrase it to make it a bit shorter?

I think that Sean is saying that the sentences are running a little long with small, filler words. You have many strong and active verbs, but some weak verbs too. I don't think that the SOP is too long, but tightening those sentences will help it to be stronger overall.


Let me use this sentence as an example . . . You use the word part three times and industry twice. To be and was are weak verbs. I am not sure how I would rewrite it.


This sentence is a little easier for me to rewrite: From information technology to pharmaceutical sciences, manufacturing plays a prominent role in business. It says the same thing, only more succinctly. The revision also brings the sentence into the present tense that Sean mentioned and omits the weak verb was. I changed part to role for a little more word variety. I took out the phrase "if you had a product" because the sentence doesn't need that as a qualifier. True, business could include the service industries and not necessarily require a product to sell or manufacturing, but a SOP doesn't need to get bogged down in semantics.

That was a pretty long paragraph to explain how I'd revise, but I wanted you to get the gist of how to strengthen this on your own. You obviously have a faculty with words and I don't want to rewrite without telling you why I would make revisions.


Here's another quick example to get you started on some revisions . . . You could just as easily say; I enhanced my knowledge of the field. Was able to doesn't add anything to the sentence and bogs the reader down with the little words.

There are a few other spots that are a little awkward or wordy, but you certainly are on the right track.

That definitely helps a lot. Thanks a lot guys. Really helpful

I wanted to be a part of an industry that was an important part of every other business, and. this is why I wanted to be a part of the manufacturing industry. From information technology to pharmaceutical sciences, if you had a product , manufacturing was a prominent part of your business. This is exactly the reason why I chose to get a Bachelor of Engineering in Production Engineering at D. J. Sanghvi College of Engineering, Mumbai University.

Through my bachelors, I was able to learn different key aspects of production through subjects like Manufacturing Engineering, Production Management, Total Quality Management and Productivity Techniques. Apart from the theoretical knowledge, I gained invaluable practical knowledge through the internship at Godrej & Boyce Manufacturing Ltd. I got the opportunity to work at the tool room at Godrej, one of Asia's leading tool rooms.

During my tenure, I got hands on training in the industry, however, what caught my eye was the delays in a lot of projects due to lack of resource allocation, and improper time management leadingwhich lead to heavy loses. If this was the position of one of the leading manufacturing plants in Asia, there was a lot to be concerned about. With the western countries offloading majority of production orders to India and China, such loses could definitelyshould not be tolerated.

This situation encouraged me to get my Master of Science in Engineering Management at Northeastern University. The rigorous curriculum at Northeastern enabled me to get knowledgeenlightened meabout on the core aspects of manufacturing. Through subjects like Operations Research, Engineering Project Management and Logistics, Warehousing & Scheduling, I was able to enhanceenhanced my knowledge of theis field. I even took up subjectsstudied like Economic Decision Making and Financial Management for Engineers so that I would be able to understand projects from a financial point of viewperspectiveas well.

Though my masters degree has given me a lot of information regarding project management and manufacturing, I would like to learn more and do research in the Just-in-time (JIT) strategy, andas well asalso Material Requirements Planning (MRP) and Manufacturing Resource Planning (MRP II). I believe that these strategies and practices can prove crucial in reducing loses infor companies like Godrej, and also in the Asian manufacturing industry. Through my research, I would like to reinstate the importance of JIT and MRP, which seems to be on a decline in this generation, and prove that these methods can prove critical in manufacturing. Prof. Surendra Gupta's research on these topics is something I am particularly looking forward to working on.

I truly enjoyed my time at Northeastern University as a masters student and would love to come back for a doctorate degree. I hope that you will give my application due consideration and humbly request the admission committee to consider my application for available financial assistance in the department. I hope to hear favorably from you soon.

As Sean said, the first paragraph needs a tense change. SO do other parts actually. I highlighted some in bold, but did not do so for some other areas.

In your final paragraph, you might want to mention how your research/goals will fit into those of the specific PhD program to which you are applying. If there are professors or research teams at the University with whom you would like to work, say so. At the PhD level, schools are selecting among qualified applicants and often make their final decision on the basis of the "match" between the student and the research interests of the tenured faculty.

In my original comment, I just meant you should try tightening things up generally, which is fairly standard advice for revision. I wasn't implying that your SOP was particularly wordy. If it had been, I would have suggested eliminating much more of your word count. As an example of what I meant, consider this:

"If this was the position of one of the leading manufacturing plants in Asia, there was a lot to be concerned about"

"That a leading Asian manufacturer suffered from such grave problems concerned me."

Thanks Sean. Simone, I have already mentioned about the professor I would like to work with at NU and also the research area. Do you think I should be elaborating a bit more?

Ah, yes, I see. Coming at the end of your penultimate paragraph, it's easy to miss. I'd highlight it a bit, either by moving the two sentences that state your specific research interests and mention the professor into their own paragraph or by beginning the paragraph they are in with a topic sentence that mentions the professor and/or your eagerness to join his research team.