SOP for studying master in telecommunication and electronics in Germany

hi there
I'm applying for a master degree in germany, and I want some help in my statement of purpose
I want to check the quality of language structure and the correlation between ideas

please feel free to advice me with anything that you find irrelevant, and provide me with a global opinion about my letter
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Dr XXX

I am writing this letter to show my motivation to join the master program of "XXX" at XXX. I do believe that my educational background and deep concern of this field of study, makes me a good candidate for this program.

I have received my bachelor's degree in electronics and communications engineering from XXX University in XXX. I graduated with honors, as I have never failed any subject during my study. Also, I ranked 13th amongst my group of students (178 student). My study gave me a solid background in several relevant subjects such as communications theory, electromagnetic waves, antenna and wave propagation and digital signal processing. These courses gave me comprehensive understanding of modulation and its types, RF transmission lines, waveguides, antennas and networking layers and protocols . In addition, I studied the fundamental mathematics subjects such as calculus, linear algebra, probability and applied statistics, which are, also, the core of electromagnetic and telecommunications science. I have received high grades in these subjects.

In my graduation thesis, I was working on a critical project that belongs to future, which is establishing a low cost, robust, wireless Ad Hoc network between the moving vehicles, without the need of enterprise infrastructure. My sub-team was working on choosing the best RF link to be suitable to handle the high mobility challenges of the moving cars environment such as the Doppler effect that shift the carrier frequency and very short connection time. This made me able to experience the challenges that face modern telecommunication systems. My work also included modifying the Wifi protocol (IEEE 802.11) to operate like another protocol called DSRC (Dedicated Short Range communications) that was designed specifically for the automotive use, as we couldn't buy the adapters that run this protocol. I became proficient in C language programming, as the wireless driver of the adapter we bought was written in C.

After graduation, I realized that I want to continue my education. I found that I want to specialize in the development of telecommunications systems.

Besides the college academics I was actively involved in the extra-curricular activities. The driving force behind all of this was my aim to develop myself more and help people to have a good quality of life. I was an active member in the IEEE student's branch in my university for about one year. I organized a lot of events and trips with the aim of spreading science passion, and to provide young creative people with the proper environment to innovate.

In addition, I was a member in AIESEC, which is an international organization, which provides young people with cross-cultural volunteering internships to develop themselves and impact their societies. I travelled to India to participate in a volunteering project related to cancer awareness. I conducted a lot of presentations and fund-raising events to spread cancer awareness among Indians. Also, I participated in governmental campaigns made for raising the health level of people. This made me opened to different cultures and gave me good experience in the social work.

I am also an amateur football player, I was playing in my school team for more than 5 years and I participated in a lot of tournaments and events, and played for my faculty team for some period. Moreover, I am a photography and cinema enthusiast, I am engaged in a cinema club in my city called PARADISO, that spread cinema culture among the people here, and bring them good movies from all-over the world to watch and discuss.

In general, I am an easy-going person who can tolerate others, no matter what kind of thinking they have. In addition, I am a fast learner who can learn in a relatively short time.

I want to study in Germany as German higher education is one of the best in the world! I can benefit from Germany's long and famous university tradition especially in the fields of engineering and science.

Also, German university degree is highly respected by employers around the world. And the cost of living is reasonable, compared to other European countries, and the education is almost free. It will be a good chance to study in a country that has produced a long list of revolutionary inventions such as the automobile, the airbag, X-ray technology, Aspirin and the MP3 data compression format.

Moreover, Germany means living in the middle of Europe surrounded by many other countries. I will have a wide range of destinations near me. I can experience an entirely different culture and language, within a couple of hours by train or plane. I can go for weekend's trips in relatively reasonable costs.

Furthermore, I will have the opportunity to learn German language, which will open many doors for me, as German is one of the ten most spoken languages in the world, this means better opportunities.

I want to study in XXXTU, because of its good reputation in the field of technical studies in general and communications engineering in particular. I found that the master program of communications and signal processing has a great reputation for its scientific research standards. This means that during my studies I can benefit from this international exposure to push my studies and research forward.

On the other hand, XXX city has great variety of nature and green areas, this will help me to maintain a good mood for studying and be creative. I would like to try skiing in the winter as well. I think it provides a good atmosphere for studying.

I strongly believe that the master program in XXX will provide me with the suitable knowledge and background that can qualify me to pursue a professional career in the field of designing and developing more sophisticated telecommunications systems.

My future research topic is the developing of communication technologies for the ITS (intelligent transport system), and I believe that the program will provide me with what I need to start.

In the end, I am grateful for considering my application and I look forward for your favorable reply.

Sincerely,

samir

I'm sorry it took quite some time to help assist you. I did some research on SOP writing. I hope this helps you and I answered your questions. There are some grammar changes and other information I have included for you to review.

3rd paragraph: I don't understand if your critical project is a future project because you say it belongs to future. Please explain this better. Also, I don't think you need to describe it as a critical project. You can just state it was a project. There should be a hyphen in Wifi. Type it this way: Wi-fi. I think there is too much information when you describe the Wi-fi. Let me try to explain what you are trying to express:

You work included modifying the Wi-Fi protocol to operate similar to the DSRC protocol to be used on vehicles. However, there were no adapters available to run the protocol, so you chose a wireless adapter to assist you in your project. Since you weren't familiar with the C programming language the adapter used, you learned and became proficient in the C programming language to assist with the project.*

*If your information is too brief, it maybe difficult to understand. You don't have to use my example, I just wanted to clarify if this is what you wanted to convey to the reader.

4th paragraph: Besides college academics, I was actively involved in extra-curricular activities. What was your driving force? You could begin this sentence stating how your aim was to be actively involved and help others have a good quality of life.

In the 4th sentence, you can state you organized many events. However, you end this sentence with innovate, which leads the reader to wonder about this innovation. Was it a new product? What did they create?

I think it is amazing that you have a concern about cancer because it is a global concern. However, I think you should focus on your extracurricular activities that involve your field of study. If there is a connection, please explain this to the reader.

5th-7th paragraph:
Take out this information as it pertains to Germany:
-Cost of living
-living in the middle of Europe
-wide range of destinations
-experience a different culture and language
-go for weekend trips
-green grass for studying
-skiing in the winter

I decided not to take every sentence and copy it verbatim from your essay. However, I wanted you to see how this information does not pertain to the program. I have never visited Europe and all of this seems interesting, but please stay focused on the more important details. There are some details that I feel you could include. Some details about Germany may work, after you do some editing. Keep in mind what I mentioned above, and you can keep the rest of the sentences if you feel you want to include them later.

8th paragraph:
You should end with a summary of your skills. For example, someone may say: My innovation, project designs, and work ethic will be invaluable to the university. You need a short summary to make you stand out that summarizes what you have stated.

Conclusion:
Also, I think you should end the letter: Thank you for considering my application and I hope to receive a favorable reply. Also, capitalize you name after sincerely and remember to include your last name before your submission. (You can wait to include your last name, until after you have used this forum. This is just a reminder!)