Hello everyone, please I need your help to read and correct my cover letter. I have to submit it next week, and it would be really great if you could take a look of it before doing it.
Thank you in advance :)
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the Master X in International Management at X, scheduled to start in September 2015. I am very confident that my educational background, work experience and deep concern in management make me a very good candidate for this program.
I graduated with a Master's degree in Industrial Engineering from the X (Morocco) in 2011. Due to the wide range of different disciplines that Industrial Science involves, I have been able to benefit fully from various subjects as supply chain management, manufacturing engineering, and quality management. Soon after starting my studies and after my first training I discovered that I was intensely interested to build a managerial career.
Being totally aware of the big responsibilities that this profile involves, also the strong experience it requires, I decided to set up a plan that will help me to climb the different steps in order to reach my goal.
After graduating, I applied to occupy the position of Junior Innovation Finance Consultant at X, a French consulting firm with a revenue of 60.000.000 Euros (Latest revenue published on 2014). This company offers services dedicated to taxation, social security costs and financing of innovation.
My aim when choosing this particular job was to enrich my corporate culture and promote my entrepreneurship skills, since the tasks that are assigned to me consist of collaborating with international companies within their R&D projects, for both technical and financial aspects. This experience fulfilled my expectations and allowed me to gain valuable and practical knowledge in projects financing consultancy. I sharpened my critical thinking and took responsibility for several projects within North Africa and France. My job also gave me the opportunity to travel abroad for auditing and advisory services and meet people from different countries around the world.
The strong reputation of X in management and its international nature are what most impress me. I also consider that sharing this Master with people from all over the world and having the chance to compare different outlooks would be one of the most professionally and personally rewarding experiences in my life.
I would like to inform you that I have been corresponding with Mr X, a current student, and Mrs X, a MIEX laureate, who were so kind to give me more information about the courses and the collaborative atmosphere in the different campuses where this program is taught. In my point of view, this diversified choice of campus is one of many particularities of X that genuinely gives to the attendees the opportunity to have a bird's-eye view of the strategic issues when doing business with other countries.
As I mentioned above, I would like to develop my future career providing management services to international companies and others organizations, especially those implemented in the Asian Market. Thus, I think that "Market Area" specialization would be the perfect second year program for me.
Finally, I would like to add that I am trained to undertake Master X in International Management at X. I am aware of the highly competitive demands of this master's program, but I am confident that I have the enthusiasm, ambition and motivation to exceed the requirements and I will do my best to excel within this program next academic year.
Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
hi there,
I think the overall content of your letter is very good. the sentences are clear and speak of your motivations.
I do have one suggestion though; outline your academic achievements too and explain how your proficiency in one particular subject helped you achieve your maximum potential in your present field.You mentioned supply chain, engineering as subjects that benefited you .how exactly did it do so?
explain a bit more on the academic part and you're good to go. best of luck!
Hello confusee123,
Thanks for your advice, I'll try to review this point :).
Hello confusee123,
Can you please give me your opinion about this new paragraph (in red)?
I graduated with a Master's degree in Industrial Engineering from the X (Morocco) in 2011. Due to the wide range of different disciplines that Industrial Science involves, I have been able to benefit fully from various subjects as supply chain management, manufacturing engineering, and quality management. Soon after starting my studies and after my first training I discovered that I was intensely interested to build a managerial career.
Being totally aware of the big responsibilities that this profile involves, also the strong experience it requires, I decided to set up a plan that will help me to climb the different steps in order to reach my goal.
After graduating, I applied to occupy the position of Junior Innovation Finance Consultant at X, a French consulting firm with a revenue of 60.000.000 Euros (Latest revenue published on 2014). This company offers services dedicated to taxation, social security costs and financing of innovation. My aim when choosing this particular job was to enrich my corporate culture and promote my entrepreneurship skills, since the tasks that are assigned to me consist of collaborating with international companies within their R&D projects, for both technical and financial aspects. This experience fulfilled my expectations and allowed me to gain valuable and practical knowledge in projects financing consultancy. I sharpened my critical thinking and took responsibility for several projects within North Africa and France. My job also gave me the opportunity to travel abroad for auditing and advisory services and meet people from different countries around the world.
"Our clients are from different activity sectors and our main goal is to ensure that their projects benefit from a financial aid from the government, in order to achieve this; we need to understand each project to be able to convince the referred stakeholders. Without a rich technical background, I think it would certainly have been less easy to make the work done."
Thank you :)
Widad,
I think this rewritten sentence is good. just one tiny correction-
After graduating, I applied to occupy the position of Junior Innovation Finance Consultant at X, a French consulting firm with a revenue of 60.000.000 Euros (Latest revenue published on 2014).
I applied and successfully secured the position of Junior Inno Finance consultant, a firm..."
"Our clients arecome from different activity sectors and our main goal in assisting them is to ensure that their projects benefit from areceive financial aid from the government.I n order to achieve this, we needare required to understand the technicalities of each project in order to be able to convince theadvise referred stakeholders.and help them make informed decisions. Without a richsound technical background, I think it would certainly believe this would have been less easy to makeget the job/ work done."
ps- Using the words "successful" , "responsible", diligent/diligence all strengthen your essay (in general).
I really liked reading your essay. It shows motivation, career ambition and willingness to improve. Your sentence constructions are quite good and will definitely impress. Good luck!
Thank you very much confusee123. I really appreciate your help and advices.
I hope the jury will appreciate my essay as well as you did.
Have a nice day!
