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Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus Joint Master IMSISS Programme



Handy 1 / 2  
Dec 14, 2025   #1
It all started from the involvement of national intelligence service, xxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx (CCC), within the processing of naturalisation. CCC was responsible to provide the President an intelligence brief over the applicants, in order to ensure their profiles cleared from security issues before acquiring the citizenship. However, the application process frequently exceeded the statutory time due to the policy, triggering complaints among the Applicants.

As my length of service at the Subdivision of Citizenship Affairs, I acknowledged that it was a structural problem, and despite repeated complaints, CCC always justified it as a result of the operations confidentiality and added claim that the institution only complied to the State Intelligence Act solely. Indeed, secrecy is essential in intelligence gathering. Nevertheless, since naturalisation is the part of public administrative affairs, which strictly bound by the fundamental principles of Administrative Law - public accountability for example, CCC's claim became void ab initio.

This protracted contradiction, after all, need to be resolved quickly and accurately. Therefore, a comprehensive understanding of intelligence studies, institutional behaviour and security governance will be definitely required. Due to those requirements, I am encouraged to pursue IMSISS programme for at least two reasons.

First, its course's structure, especially for T4. The modules in Path A, such as Intelligence Analysis & Policy Makingat the University of Glasgow and Intelligence & Security Analysis: Theory & Practice at Dublin City University, offer rigorous analytical frameworks that will unlock the opportunity to examine intelligence behaviour beyond the surface-level problem mentioned above. Meanwhile, courses from Charles University Prague will enrich my examination with such security-related-activities regularly conducted by intelligence agency.

Second, its multi-campus design. The academic environments shaped by distinct historical experiences of intelligence, conflict, and political transformation will enhance my understanding of how democratic states negotiate the balance between secrecy, civil liberties, and institutional accountability. It will also connect me to numerous of security expertise where my long-term objective of contributing into intelligence governance reform in my country will be refined.

I strongly believe that the combination between previous academic performance and professional engagement had paved a solid foundations for my study. My occupation as legal analyst for almost a decade had developed my capacity for structured research, policy interpretation, and critical evaluation of institutional practices. My journal entitled "The House of Representative's Position within the Polemics of xxxxxxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx's Bilateral Treaties", along with several articles, the undergraduate thesis, and numerous analytical documents produced throughout my career had demonstrated my writing, reasoning, and problem structuring skills.

Sort of achievements in oral-based competitions during high school, either local or national levels, had sharpened my public speaking skills, which firmly will amplify my participation in seminars, discussion classes, and collaborative research. My leadership skills in consequence of long involvement records in various organisations, from the school student body president to the chairperson of environmental ambassador's forum at the provincial level, will also be very relevant for my life among multi-national student's atmosphere.

For the dissertation, I intend to explore an appropriate engagement of intelligence agency within legal administrative affairs - maintaining national interest sufficiently without declining public accountability. It will become the most solid basis to advocate the amendment or promulgation of a robust yet accommodative regulation for naturalisation.

After completing the programme, I am fully prepared to design an action plan for the legal and institutional framework improvement related to intelligence, security governance, and inter-agency coordination through policy and regulatory reforms and propose it to the Minister of xxx, who is the head of my institution and also the direct policy maker in the law field below the President.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15982  
Dec 15, 2025   #2
You need a clearer introduction in the first 2 paragraphs. Your department and its problems should be mentioned first, in relation to the actual problem department. Draw upon the conflicts and less then effective resolutions and agreements that both your departments use to address the naturalization conflicts. From there, introduce how the course you plan to take can help you learn about possible solutions to the aforementioned problems.

Avoid mentioning high school accomplishments. The reviewers will be looking for undergraduate notable performances and will rely heavily on your professional accomplishments for your application consideration. It is distasteful to indicate "Sort of achievements" because that indicates a less than stellar academic an professional performance, which will lessen the consideration for your application.
OP Handy 1 / 2  
Dec 30, 2025   #3
Truly appreciated Mr./Ms. Holt for this kind review and bright inside, I will fix it immediately and repost so perhaps you would like to rewatch again for my statement. However, in advance, is there anything else I should highlight in this statement in order to strengthen my application?
OP Handy 1 / 2  
1 day ago   #4
Dear Mr. /Ms. Holt and all of reviewers of Essayforum, this is the revision of my personal statement that had been posted on last December 14, 2025. I hope you could give me further advices in order to strengthen my essay, perhaps something important to be highlighted besides what I have put in this essay.
*****

It commenced from frequent complaints about the naturalisation process, which I encountered during my formative years at the Ministry of xxx, within the Subdivision of Citizenship Affairs. They were triggered by the applicants dissatisfaction upon the overdue process. As my length of service, I acknowledged that this problem was structural, caused by the involvement of the national intelligence service, xxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx (CCC), within the naturalisation procedures. CCC was responsible to provide the President an intelligence brief over the applicants, in order to ensure their profiles cleared from security issues before acquiring the citizenship.
Despite repeated complaints, CCC always justified the problem as a result of operations confidentiality. Indeed, secrecy is essential in intelligence gathering. Nevertheless, since naturalisation is a public service, it is essentially bound by public accountability as the fundamental principle of Administrative Law. My institution had initiated tremendous efforts to negotiate both aspects. However, CCC remained intransigent by claiming that it complied to nothing but the State Intelligence Act solely.
Resolving this issue requires a different but accurate approach. Therefore, a comprehensive understanding of intelligence studies, institutional behaviour and security governance are indispensable to shape its framework. IMSISS undoubtedly is the excellent selection, at least for two reasons.
First, its course's structure, especially for T4. The modules will not only offer rigorous analytical frameworks, which will unlock the opportunity to examine intelligence behaviour beyond the surface-level problem mentioned above, but also enrich my examination with several security studies which regularly conducted by intelligence agency.
Second, its multi-campus design. The different academic environments shaped by distinct historical experiences of intelligence, conflict, and political transformation will enhance my understanding of how democratic states negotiate the balance between secrecy, civil liberties, and institutional accountability. It will also connect me to numerous of security expertise where my long-term objective of contributing into intelligence governance reform in my country will be refined.
I strongly believe that the combination between previous academic performance and professional engagement had paved a solid foundations for my study. My occupation as legal analyst for almost a decade had developed my capacity for structured research, policy interpretation, and critical evaluation of institutional practices. My journal entitled "The House of Representative's Position within the Polemics of xxxxxxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx's Bilateral Treaties", along with several articles, the undergraduate thesis, and numerous analytical documents produced throughout my career had demonstrated my writing, reasoning, and problem structuring skills.
Several related skills being sharpened in parallel to my career will also priceless for supporting both of my personal and academic lives under multi-national student's atmosphere. My involvements in various task forces during services for example, such as being member of the Government Regulation No 2 of 2007 Revision's Committee, had developed my leadership and team-working skills. My public speaking and negotiation skills, which have been proven by my assignment as the Speaker of the government's delegation for special mission in Davao City on 2019 also will be very relevant.
About the dissertation, I intend to explore an appropriate engagement of intelligence agency within legal administrative affairs - maintaining national interest sufficiently without declining public accountability. It will become the most solid basis to advocate the amendment or promulgation of a robust yet accommodative regulation for naturalisation.
After completing the programme, I am fully prepared to design an action plan for the legal and institutional framework improvement related to intelligence, security governance, and inter-agency coordination through policy and regulatory reforms and propose it to the Minister of xxx, who is the head of my institution and also the direct policy maker in the law field below the President.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15982  
15 hrs ago   #5
The more you try to fix the essay, the more problems come up with regards to the information you are providing. You are not providing appropriate information that will support your claims regarding experience, skills, and problem solution development. It would be best for you to revise the essay one last time.

While you provided a detailed explanation of the problem with naturalization in your country, you have not indicated the halfway point wherein your agency and the government developed an acceptable solution that allows both sides a satisfactory implementation style. It is impossible that there is no halfway solution that was provided which you can improve upon, as the basis of your dissertation.

This is the last piece of advice that I can give you. I was granted special permission by the forum admin to do so. Should you wish to continue consulting with me, you may ask for specifics about the private service by contacting the admin via the email given below.


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