Statement of Purpose for Master of Strategic Communication for University of Canberra

Hi! I would like to seek advice on how to improve further my Statement of Purpose (SOP) to be submitted to the University of Canberra. I am from the Philippines and I would like to pursue a Master of Strategic Communication in Australia.

I have read multiple blogs on how to write an SOP, but I would like to know on what would be the best approach.

Also, here are the key points the agency mentioned that must be included in my SOP:
- Your personal, academic, and employment circumstance in the Philippines;
- Your reason/s for choosing to study in Australia rather than in your home country;
- Your reason/s for choosing the education provider (school);
- Your reason/s for choosing to study the program (course);
- The relevance of this program/course to your educational and/or professional background;
- The relevance of completing this study to your future career plans in your home country, including prospect employer and remuneration;
- Your travel and visa applications history in Australia and other countries;
- Your potential circumstance once you arrived in Australia, including your accommodation arrangement, researched knowledge of the state/city, basic living expenses, and source of funds -discuss sponsorship of family member/s

Your help is highly appreciated. :)

Master of Strategic Communication in Australia

It was the summer before entering fourth grade when my mother received an invitation from my journalism adviser to join a journalism workshop of our school publication. That time, the school's publication was at its prime - winning multiple awards in the district and regional competitions. I was unsure of myself if I could excel in writing, but that journalism adviser believed that I could. After a year of training, I placed fifth in a district competition and was also sent to the regionals to compete.

I became convinced in my strength in journalism and writing when I was able to bag all the awards in a journalism and writing competition in our school. After a long period of self-discovery, I finally found what I am good at. However, this stirred jealousy and controversy in the hearts of my classmates.

This negativity erupted during our last year of high school, when competition became cut-throat. I became a threat in someone's academic achievements and experienced being backstabbed. I was ostracized. I had no friends. And I had to put on a brave face every day when I went to school. The people who gave me strength were my mother and my friends from church. It was the most difficult experience in my life, but it didn't stop me in graduating salutatorian in my class.

In college, I pursued Communication knowing that was where I was good at. But with the dangers that journalists face in the Philippines, I decided to shift towards communication in a corporate setting. That desire took a backseat when I was hired as a customer service associate for a real estate company. Wanting to pursue my original goal, I took up an online certificate course on Corporate Communication.

Handling the internal communications in my current company and discovering my strengths along the way, I realize my potential in wanting to develop a strategic communication plan for the company. I choose to study to be a Master of Strategic Communication in the University of Canberra because of its holistic curriculum. Some of the units are Strategic Communication Planning, Risk Communication, Issues Analysis and Management. In addition, I will have the opportunity to increase my knowledge on some units in Marketing Communication. Contrary to the Philippines, pursuing further studies in Communication focuses either solely on Media and Sales and Marketing.

I wish to be granted a scholarship in order to study in Australia. My family and I live in a rented apartment. We heavily rely on mass transportation to get to work. My parents are about to retire, leaving my sister and I to care for ourselves. I am also open to the possibility of acquiring for a student loan (if available) and to pay back in full by the time I finish my degree.

After completing the Strategic Communication program, I want to pursue my career in either of the most reputable corporations in the Philippines - San Miguel Corporation or Meralco. Both these corporations have outstanding communication teams that have been recognized by many award-giving bodies. I seek to apply and share what I have learned, especially in these changing times wherein established corporations should adapt to new strategies.

In regards to my travel history and visa application to other countries, I have travelled to Indonesia, Hong Kong, and Singapore. As of this writing, I have also been granted a visa to travel to South Korea.

Francesca, the first thing that you have to do is remove the first part of your essay that deals with your 4th grade accomplishments and the envy or jealousy that you were forced to deal with. These information are not required within the prompt requirements and therefore, does not do anything to help advance your application. Review the prompt requirements and make sure that you only reflect the information required within the essay you will be submitting. You are missing a few highly important points in your response such as who will be answering financially for you upon your arrival in Australia along with your travel history. For the travel history, you have to include a detailed list of the visas that have been issued to you, its current standing (valid or expired), how many times you have traveled to those countries, as well as your inclusive entry and exit dates. This is a required element of the vetting program so you need to be highly detailed with the information so they can properly check your travel history. It would also be beneficial to your application if you can generate an employment history for yourself that is verifiable. The employment history should include your current workplace and position. The prompt requires you to make it clear that you plan to return to the Philippines immediately upon graduation which is why you need to explain the relevance of your masters studies to your present or future career. By the way, it is a very bad idea to indicate that you are willing to get student loans in order to finance your studies in Australia. The instructions clearly indicate that your relatives in Australia must be financially responsible for you. That means the government of Australia is not currently willing to give you a student loan. It is a different case if you are applying for a student visa based upon a previously granted student loan from the university that you seek to attend. Basically, you need to revise the current SOP that you have in order to deliver more of the required elements and less of the information that you think you need to be presenting.

Hi Francesca, your essay contains a lot of unwanted details especially the first part. I will just be straight here. You are not writing a book about yourself, you are writing a statement of purpose. The fewer the words, the more comfortable it will feel to read and the relevant the words, the more interesting it will be. I hope to read your revised version.

Thanks for helping me out. Putting in everything you've said, let me know what you think of the revised version:

I pursued journalism knowing that was where I was good at. But with the dangers that journalists face in the Philippines, I welcomed the idea of doing communication in a corporate setting. That desire, however, took a backseat when I was hired as a customer service associate for a real estate company. After two years, I decided to pursue my original goal.

I took up an online certificate course on Corporate Communication to know the basics of concepts such as strategic corporate communication planning, employee communication, publicity and media relations, and crisis communication. It was a stepping stone for soon pursuing a related master's degree and landing my present job, which is into Marketing Communications.

The Marketing Communications department in SEAOIL is divided into two based on media – digital and traditional. I am the sole Marketing Communications Officer and my main focus is internal communications, in which I used digital and traditional communication channels to inform and engage employees. Since I am the only Marketing Communications Officer, I also have become exposed to content conceptualization and strategy development for changes in branding of the company. This made me discover my talents along the way. I realized my talents in planning and conceptualizing – that by earning a master's degree in Strategic Communication would develop these talents and help me further contribute, assess and direct the communication direction of the company.

In addition, I choose to study to be a Master of Strategic Communication in the University of Canberra because of its holistic curriculum. Some of the units are Strategic Communication Planning, Risk Communication, Issues Analysis and Management. In addition, I will have the opportunity to increase my knowledge on some units in Marketing Communication. Contrary to the Philippines, pursuing further studies in Communication focuses either solely on Media and Sales and Marketing.

I will be funding my own study in Australia as I do not have any relatives to finance my studies in Australia. My parents are about to retire, leaving my sister and I to care for ourselves.

In regards to my travel history and visa application to other countries, I have travelled to Indonesia, Hong Kong, and Singapore. As of this writing, I have also been granted a visa to travel to South Korea. It will remain valid until September 2017. My sister and I will be travelling to South Korea on July 4 and will be returning to the Philippines on July 12.