"Strategic Intent Aggressiveness"- business administration

If anyone can help me revise the following essey? My name id Andy and I am a doctoral student of business administration in Taiwan now. This essey is a section in my dissertation in preparation.

Within our surroundings, we can often see various types of managers or top management teams, some of them negative, easily satisfied or frustrated, passive, especially those who are not adequately motivated. Most of this type just do what they are asked and even pay discounted efforts, avoiding troubles if possible, having lower level of internal drives. On the contrary, other managers have higher level of internal drives and self-requirements, being active and positive, setting up challenging and long term goals, and caring people around. Such two types of managers are here identified as with varied levels of strategic intent aggressiveness and actually exist in organizations exerting a certain level of influences on organizational development. The first construct in this study is therefore focused on the aggressiveness of top managers' strategic intent.

I want to add a conjunction here, and then a dash to help the reader interpret the sentence easily:
...easily satisfied or frustrated, or passive -- especially those who ...

other managers have higher levels of ...

These two two types ...

This is impressive! It seems like it is going to be a meaningful study. So, what research method will you use? You are off to a good start.

:-)

Kevin,

Thanks for your kind suggestion that makes me not only more confident with my essay but also feel warm with this forum. Thanks again! I'll take your advise to revise my work.

Thanks for your kind words, Andy. We are lucky to have you!