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"My technical focus" - MBA Essay Review



prasun8463 3 / 8  
Aug 12, 2009   #1
Why are you applying to the MBA Program now? What is the professional objective that will guide your career choice after your MBA, and how will the MBA contribute to the achievement of this objective? (500 words)

My stint at X has seen me transition from a predominantly technical focus to consulting and project management. I have begun to realize that I have a profound interest in management consulting and strategy practices. I am attracted towards pursuing an international career, which requires a global outlook, exposure and relevant know-how in order to succeed. To achieve this, I am convinced in investing in my own abilities, and I see an MBA as the best investment that will allow me to develop the knowledge, ability and personal skills required.

Over the past 12 months, I have thought of pursuing an MBA but it is only in the last few months that I have begun to appreciate its potential benefits. I am currently at an early stage in my career but my decision is strategic considering my future ambitions. While my engineering major has served me well in my Consulting career so far, I am keen on getting a picture of how companies operate in an international business environment. Knowledge of strategy, operational finance, handling diverse teams and understanding of socio-economic perspective that affect business are thus imperative to my career goals. Most importantly, the credential will open up career paths and the learning will allow me to leverage my current experiences into a truly business context.

Post MBA, I envision myself to be in a top notch consulting group, such as Mckinsey, where I will have the opportunity to analyze complex business issues and hypothesize solutions that positively impact the client. As a strategic consultant, I will have the opportunity work with different clients over a wide range of industries which would, in turn, contribute a great deal in an international management role I plan to take in the future.

With experience under my belt, I want to turn entrepreneurial; use my skills to develop long-term strategy and support innovation within a social paradigm. My long term vision is to engineer a global program that would allow students in under-developed countries free access to educational resources and create a virtual classroom that will transcend language and geographical barriers.

Y MBA program offers the right mix of theoretical learning and group projects which would suit my learning style. The core program will allow me to gain a foothold in general management principles while the company consulting and the individual professional projects will allow me to draw on relevant experience upon employment. The bilingual nature of the course and emphasis on cross-cultural diversity is a key component in my choice. While the MBA will give the imprimatur of an Elite program, I'm excited about sharing student space with some of the Best in the world. I'm sure my professional and personal experiences will contribute to the rich and diverse body of the program which would, in turn, catalyze my growth- both personally and professionally.

EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Aug 12, 2009   #2
burning desire

Avoid chiches such as this.

a' bottoms-up' approach to complex problems

You mean "bottom-up." "Bottoms-up" refers to drinking.

"With experience under my belt, I want to turn entrepreneurial, use my skills to develop long-term strategy, and support innovation and implement change within a social paradigm.

Overall, this is fine, but -- depending on how much competition you anticipate -- you may want to reach for a stronger introduction.
OP prasun8463 3 / 8  
Aug 12, 2009   #3
Thanks Simon.
Competition is indeed intense!
As for the Introduction,
I wanted to present a very Personal reason as to why I feel I need an MBA.
12 Months back, I only knew I needed it without knowing why. but over the next few months, I have discovered that the skills I need can only be found in a b-school.I have made vain (ludicrous, in fact)attempts to understand things all by myself and in the process realized it.This is the perspective I wanted to put across.

Any tips to add the Color that I want to Put in the Opening stanza will be appreciated.
EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Aug 13, 2009   #4
Again, your first sentence is weak. Who's the actor in that sentence? A stint! And that stint supposedly saw something. Again, please reword your introduction.
OP prasun8463 3 / 8  
Aug 13, 2009   #5
Hi simone,

can you Give me an example to illustrate the Point you Mentioned.
EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Aug 13, 2009   #6
The example is your first sentence. Who or what is the subject of that sentence? A stint. According to that sentence, the stint saw you "transition" from one focus to another. Of course, stints can't see anything at all, so the sentence really has no actor. That makes it weak. You should be the subject of the sentence. In the sentence, you should be doing something.


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