Working for Fujitsu Consulting India - active leadership role at profession

Please comment on this essay

ESSAY 2: Short answer (maximum 250 words each).
Describe a recent professional experience in which you have taken an active leadership role and the impact it has had on your organization.

In August 2009, while I was working for Fujitsu Consulting India as a team leader, my organization received a Broadband Billing project from VERIZON. The client required that the development be completed within three months. Normally, such work would have taken a minimum of five months. I was entrusted with the crucial responsibility to deliver the project within the projected deadline. I needed to exhibit exceptional time and resource management skills to meet the deadline. Moreover, the necessity to understand the domains of accounting, product development and invoicing made the project even more challenging.

I understood that this project could not be completed if I depend on one or two major resources that are familiar with all modules. So I had to involve all my team members. Also we had limited resources. In addition we had no time to recruit new resources and train them. Also I understand that I would be difficult to meet the deadline if I share the work randomly to my team members as many of them are not familiar with all the modules.

I overcame this dire situation by conducting one to one session with my team members to know their technical skills and modules worked on. Then I started conducting training sessions to brush up their skills once again. Although it took a week time to accomplish these activities, it is uplifted the team output to the significant level when I assigned them with the module with which they are already aware of. Also it is helped me a lot in delivering the first phase of the project on time with absolute quality of code and later Fujitsu were given the second phase of the project as well.

I find the second paragraph quite weak. "I understood that this project could not be completed if I depend on one or two major resources that are familiar with all modules. So I had to involve all my team members. Also we had limited resources. In addition we had no time to recruit new resources and train them. Also I understand that I would be difficult to meet the deadline if I share the work randomly to my team members as many of them are not familiar with all the modules." You should revise some words such as "so" and "also" in the beginning of sentences. Using also once to start a sentence is okay but 2 in a row is not a good idea and the word "so" should be avoided in essays.

- The first sentence is lengthy, and this is true for the rest of the paragraph. Also, you directly state that you were working for Fujitsu, but proceed thence to refer to "...my organization...", which may cause confusion because it is awkward to identify the company you worked for and then refer to it with a possessive pronoun -- assuming that you are. It is unclear what "my organization" represents, and you never clarify it. Don't use complex sentences, unless you can do so correctly. Permitting it isn't part of a larger pattern, these things can be forgiven. Broadband probably shouldn't be capitalized. I can see that all along I have been dependent on intuition, and I have fared well in writing; however, I know virtually nothing about grammar, which is sad because instinct has its limitations.