When I was young, I became convinced that we are, all of us, here on earth to help each other; SOP

I'm currently working on my statement of purpose for my application to masters programs in Speech-Language Pathology. The prompt for the essay I'm working on now is : What are your goals? How have your previous experiences contributed to your decision to enter the program? How will graduate study assist you in achieving your future career and educational aspirations?

I'm unsure if this essay is any good at all. Any advice/criticism will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

When I was young, I became convinced that we are, all of us, here on earth to help each other, and as I grew older, I came to know that my character and compassionate nature were leading me to seek a profession that involved bettering the lives of others. Though I had been aware of speech-language pathology as a potential career choice, it was not until I observed stroke rehabilitation speech therapy that I became inspired by the possibilities of this rewarding field. I soon became captivated with the notion of helping others communicate and overcome health related obstacles in their lives. Witnessing how one profession can radically change the lives of others has sparked my passion to pursue a career in speech-language pathology.

In 2012, I graduated from SUNY New Paltz with a B.A. in Communication Disorders and a minor in Biology. Before taking the plunge into graduate school, I realized that I would first like to gain professional experience working in healthcare settings. Consequently, in the years following my graduation, I worked as a rehabilitation aide at an outpatient physical therapy clinic, volunteered for an equine-assisted therapy program for developmentally disabled adults, and secured a position as an intern for Hudson Valley Speech and Swallowing Therapy.

Working as a team member alongside professionals from these different, though often collaborative, disciplines has provided me with invaluable practical experience in various clinical settings. Most importantly, I have found it immensely rewarding to be able to assist and motivate others while connecting with people of diverse cultures, disabilities, and ages. Completing this work has helped solidify my desires to positively affect others through a career in speech-language pathology.

Having had my most enjoyable experiences being my work with the adult population, I feel my future career plans lie at a hospital or rehabilitation facility, where I hope to treat adult patients who have suffered strokes or traumatic brain injuries. My undergraduate studies in Neuroanatomy initiated my interests in this area of speech-language pathology, a particular interest of mine being in the various types of aphasia and how they affect expressive and receptive language differently. As a future clinician, I look forward to the opportunity to join evaluation and treatment teams working to help adult patients suffering from aphasia overcome communicative, cognitive, and emotional challenges they may face.

It is my hope that if granted admission to the graduate program in Communication Disorders at SUNY New Paltz, I can formally begin my journey toward becoming a compassionate, knowledgeable SLP. As a student clinician, I look forward with great anticipation in being enabled to collaborate with your skilled faculty members in treating a diverse clientele at both the onsite Speech-Language and Hearing Center and at external clinical placements within the Hudson Valley. I am also excited by the opportunity your program provides in permitting its students to participate in specialty clinics, where, if admitted to your program, I will be enabled to hone my skills in specific clinical contexts. It is also my intention to become involved in the aphasia support group that is conducted at the Speech-Language and Hearing Center on campus.

I deeply believe that the integration of exciting opportunities offered at SUNY New Paltz, combined with my motivation to enrich the lives of others in need, will provide the optimum foundation for my successful career as a speech-language pathologist and for my being enabled, thereby, to assist the many patients who can benefit from the graduate education you will have provided to me.

As far as the first sentence, I think it would benefit if you separated it into two sentences and deleted it 'and.' That would help it run smoother. Other than that, I really liked it and I see if as a direct answer to the prompt!

Jen, the essay is overly long and can actually do with some editing and revising. The questions that you need to answer in the essay are already given to you. So you just need to concentrate your answers upon those. There is no need to go back to your past and delve in your life or college experiences prior to your becoming a professional in this field. A masters degree program is meant to help you upgrade you knowledge and intellect on a particular subject matter based upon your current work conditions and experiences. You should only skim over your college background and then concentrate on your work experience and how the masters studies will help you further enhance your chances at a better career in the future. Here's what we can do, I'll quote the question and offer some suggestions as to what kind of information you should present in the paragraph. I hope that works for you :-)


- Give the admissions officer an idea as to why gaining a masters degree is important to you as a person and as a professional. The idea here is to present your ideas regarding both fields immediately upon graduation. This paragraph will lay the foundation for your answers to the next questions.


- No need to refer to your college background in this paragraph. Just discuss the important aspects of your current career that you feel are compelling enough to warrant higher studies. Perhaps it is the desire to work in a specific department that requires an MA, or even a chance at a possible promotion to a more responsible level within your department? Whatever the reasons, you should use and mention it in this paragraph.


- Be more definitive by discussing your short term (2-5 years) career plan and then follow it up with your long term (6-10 years) goals as a professional. Maybe you want to publish a breakthrough academic paper based upon a noteworthy experiment or project that you plan to undertake? Or you see yourself starting a private practice specializing in a particular field?

As you can see, the essay can be answered in as short as 3, detailed paragraphs. If you can try to revise the essay in this manner, we can help you polish the paper to further meet the requirements :-) Good luck!

Thank you for your feedback! I will take your advice into consideration and re-work this one.