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metaphor for feeling out of control


redsox34 2 / 10  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Having trouble coming up with a good metaphor for the feeling I had when I found out my father was having a heart attack and could die. I had used this "I felt as if I were standing at the edge of a cliff with gusty winds threatening to send me into the abyss." I've been told the cliff image is overused. I'm wracking my brain for something else. Anyone have advice?
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
My advice is to write down four or five strong words that describe the feeling, then get out your thesaurus and look each one up. I can pretty much guarantee you will find the perfect way to say it. Please let me know if this helps you!
OP redsox34 2 / 10  
Dec 31, 2009   #3
Hmmm...I'm not really looking for a synonym. I was trying to come up with a metaphor. I am describing the feeling I had when I found out my dad was having a heart attack. I liked the metaphor I used (I quoted it above), but I was told the standing at a cliff metaphor is overused and trite.
coffee2262 2 / 4  
Jan 1, 2010   #4
hmm... make a lists of strong words and use thesuaurus to look it up
lexmonti 3 / 7  
Jan 1, 2010   #5
Maybe feeling like his fate was out of your hands. You may have felt like you could not control his destiny.
You felt like you were watching him in a car spinning out of control with inevitable fate.
um
You felt like you were watching him from behind a glass window.
I don't know. Maybe pick something that has connections with your life and other things mentioned in your app.
OP redsox34 2 / 10  
Jan 3, 2010   #6
Lexmonti - I like those. Thanks so much.
collegehelp 2 / 11  
Jan 3, 2010   #7
if you want to go with the idea that you couldnt move due to fear or what ever i suggest

"My heart pounding, I tried to move, but felt as if i were encased in ice only able to move my eyes to observe his suffering.

might be a bit dark not sure


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