Common App Work Experience - working at a car repair shop

Hi guys I am trying to work on a short answer that's about my work experience. It's for common app thing.
Please look over this and give me some feedback! Grammar needs to be improved also.. thanks

During the summer vacation of 2010, I had a chance to take a valuable work experience that made me determine my desired major. I unexpectedly received a request from a small car repair shop located in front of my apartment in Korea. My father knew one of the workers at the shop and got informed that they needed more hands. At that time, I was not busy at all so I decided to take whatever they would offer me to do. The job I had was not a hard thing actually; I was supposed to carry tools and assist with all those tedious chores. As time goes by, however, the staffs realized I was carefully observing works they did, and they put their trust in me so that I could be involved in actual tasks. I began learning materials I needed to know. The "Small Engines" class that I took in my junior year also helped me to be acknowledged. After all, I worked on fixing broken engines and replacing car equipment, and apparently I didn't do them all by myself because I was still inexperienced and unskilled. I didn't get paid much, but other than the money, I earned something very valuable, which shaped my dream of what I want to do in the future.

Too many redundant words. I suggest you look for ways to cut down some words, because redundancy is boring to read.

can you give me specific examples?

Hi,
I get what liebe said. Try not to explain everything so much and cut some words. For instance: my father got informed from one of the workers that the shop needed help. Not knowing that your father knows the worker does not hurt the content.