This is the first draft for my common-app essay.
Prompt:
"Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence."
Santa-Clause has had great impact on my life.
One may consider him a fictional character or actual person. That is the lesson that I learned from Santa. I was always a extreme skeptic when it came to him, I honestly cannot remember a time when I actually believed in him. How could it be possible? We didn't even have a chimney and our door is double locked and chained. How can he afford presents for everyone when my parents refuse candy because of the price? There is no problem in holding these doubts. That is as long as I did not preach them to my friends. Yes, that is exactly what I did. When I was in kindergarten playing with my friends all in anticipation Christmas, I decided to express my strong belief. At the time I felt that my friends were gullible, and that it would be a personal achievement for me to logically disprove the existence of Santa. I took the stand and I talked about the human lifespan, the fiscal impossibilities, and the physical impossibilities. Half my friends ended up crying. My forethought victory, turned out to be my friends' agony. I had learned a hard lesson about other people's beliefs. I now understand that the facts are not what are really important, but what those beliefs bring to the people. That is why I now will refer to Mr. Santa-Clause as a person. He is a person that every year delivers to children the most heart filling sentiment-the Christmas-spirit. He is one man who is a definitive of what it means to be a kid. Without experience of getting up with my siblings early on Christmas-eve, I would have many less found memories which color my child hood. And in this way, Santa-Clause is a person, as he has influences so many more lives than I could possibly wish to. I have learned how strong an impact a belief, or creation can have and acknowledge their benefits. And I believe that cultivating such beliefs can have more merit on humanity than any actual human being can have.
How should I separate my paragraphs? What changes could I make and what could I add? I`m planning to apply to a liberal arts collage and a public school by the way.
