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The sale numbers of known cellular brands in the middle of the first decade of the 21st century


irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Sep 30, 2015   #1
The table describes the number of selling mobile phones from several brands, namely Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, LG, BenQ Mobile and others between 2005 and 2006, is measured in percentage. Overall, Nokia is the most popular with the highest of market share in both year, it can be seen that the number of others brands solely a half of the Nokia company.

Based on the data, the percentage of Nokia has rose steadily from 32.5% to 35%. Then, the proportion of Motorola had been following with 21.1 per cent in 2006. Although brand of Samsung did not dominate, it can beat Sony Ericsson, LG and BenQ Mobile. This is proven by the amount of Samsung selling at 12.7%, only decreased by 1% over following a year.

However, the rate of other brands was 19.2 per cent and slightly decrease to 16.2 per cent in 2006. While the percentage of Sony Ericsson, LG and BenQ Mobile only different a little under a- tenth in both years.



vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 30, 2015   #2
Irfan, you had some problems with your use of past tense in this chart essay. Please review the past tense rules and remember them for future essays. I corrected those for your below.

The table describes the number of SOLD mobile phones from several brands,...between 2005 and 2006,AS measured in percentage

Overall, Nokia WAS the most popular with the highest of market share in both YEARS,WITH OTHER others brands SELLING ONLY HALF OF THE EQUIVALENT NOKIA UNITS. - Remember to speak in past tense. You are speaking of previous years.

Based on the data, the percentage of Nokia has rose steadily from 32.5% to 35%

the proportion of Motorola had been following followed with

Although brand of Samsung did not dominate,

it can beat Sony Ericsson, LG and BenQ Mobile

This is WAS proven by the amount of Samsung selling SOLD at 12.7%, WHICH only decreased by 1% over following THE a year.

slightly DECREASED

only different DIFFERED
Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Oct 1, 2015   #3
I extremely agree with @vangiespen input, i love to add more suggestion for you

I try to rewrite your introduction,
The table describes the number of selling mobile phones from several brands, namely Nokia, Motorola, Samsung, Sony Ericsson, LG, BenQ Mobile and others between 2005 and 2006, is measured in percentage

This table describes the market share of several well-known mobile phones brand between 2005 and 2006 and it measured in percentages.

Nokia is the most popular (most popular what??)brand with the highest of market share in both yearthe time frame , it can be seen that the number of others brands solelyaround a half of the Nokia company.

slightly decreasedecrease slightly to 16.2 per cent in 2006
irhame 52 / 50 25  
Oct 1, 2015   #4
i suggest you to make a 2-sentence for overall
for first sentence, you can you rise, decrease, increase or fluctuation in all chart
second sentence you can use comparison

overall,.... in any case, while S V, S V
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Oct 1, 2015   #5
- The table shows the number of mobile phones sold.
- As seen, people are more likely to use Nokia. Likewise, this brand breaks a record as the highest market share in both years. In any case, other brands experience only a half of Nokia's percentage.

- the sale of Nokia experienced a steady rise, from 32.5% to 35%, an increase of 3.5% in the remainder of period.


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