juntrinh
Jul 23, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2 - Economic developments result in losing traditional values [4]
Topic: Many countries are trying to improve the standard of living through economic development. However, some people think that traditional values are lost as a result of this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Economic growth is likely to contribute to a thriving business in a country. While some people argue that economic developments lead to the loss of traditional cultures, personally I completely disagree with this point of view.
It might be reasonable that authorities are trying their best to foster their country's economy in order that their basic needs have been improved. To begin with, they allow foreign companies to build industries in their country to provide more employment opportunities for native people. Furthermore, overseas companies are also able to cooperate with local businessman. As a result, many products in their country can be exported to foreign nations, helping their country's status on a global stage in terms of trading power. Lastly, their citizens can receive excellent pay packages from corporations due to the increase of companies' profits, which can help them improve their living standard.
However, I believe that traditional values seem to be unaffected by boosting the country's economy. On the contrary, this is likely to maintain and develop traditional factors. To give just one example, today Vietnam has many traditional handicraft villages to meet their own needs but several households that create handicraft works have changed their jobs due to low revenues. Fortunately, their skillful products have been known by foreign enterprises and therefore have sold in many different countries around the world. Local people have turned back their careers and have continued to create sophisticated handicrafts.
On the whole, it seems to me that traditional ways of life have been lost as a result of economic developments. By contrast, it can be considered as an important factor to preserve the traditions and customs of their own cultures.
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This is the first time I have posted my essay on this website. I have taken part in IELTS tests many times but I haven't reached 6.5 score. I was totally upset and I hope everyone can help me correct my essay to improve my writing skills. Really thank you so much
Topic: Many countries are trying to improve the standard of living through economic development. However, some people think that traditional values are lost as a result of this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
traditional ways of life have been lost
Economic growth is likely to contribute to a thriving business in a country. While some people argue that economic developments lead to the loss of traditional cultures, personally I completely disagree with this point of view.
It might be reasonable that authorities are trying their best to foster their country's economy in order that their basic needs have been improved. To begin with, they allow foreign companies to build industries in their country to provide more employment opportunities for native people. Furthermore, overseas companies are also able to cooperate with local businessman. As a result, many products in their country can be exported to foreign nations, helping their country's status on a global stage in terms of trading power. Lastly, their citizens can receive excellent pay packages from corporations due to the increase of companies' profits, which can help them improve their living standard.
However, I believe that traditional values seem to be unaffected by boosting the country's economy. On the contrary, this is likely to maintain and develop traditional factors. To give just one example, today Vietnam has many traditional handicraft villages to meet their own needs but several households that create handicraft works have changed their jobs due to low revenues. Fortunately, their skillful products have been known by foreign enterprises and therefore have sold in many different countries around the world. Local people have turned back their careers and have continued to create sophisticated handicrafts.
On the whole, it seems to me that traditional ways of life have been lost as a result of economic developments. By contrast, it can be considered as an important factor to preserve the traditions and customs of their own cultures.
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This is the first time I have posted my essay on this website. I have taken part in IELTS tests many times but I haven't reached 6.5 score. I was totally upset and I hope everyone can help me correct my essay to improve my writing skills. Really thank you so much