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IELTS Writing task 2 - Same products around the world

juntrinh 3 / 4 1  
Jul 26, 2017   #1
Topic: Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

uniformity of goods in the world

It is no doubt true that countries are becoming similar to each other due to the global spread of the same products, which are now available for purchase almost anywhere. In my view, I consider it to be a positive development.

Similar products the world over have some drawbacks for various reasons. Many items are considered as special things in a country, and the globalization of products can lead to the loss of uniqueness in each nation. To give one example, tokbokki is a well-known traditional Korean dish. However, today, rice cake, which is a main raw material in this meal is ubiquitous in Korean marts from every corner of the world. One possible consequence of this trend would be that tourists become disillusioned with travelling to Korea just the same as the place where they are living.

Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe that the spread of multinational products can be seen as progress. To begin with, consumers would feel more comfortable and convenient as they can easily purchase something in foreign countries. Furthermore, this development contributes significantly to a thriving economy in the countries. People turn to buying the new brand from overseas nations, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are used to. As a result, local companies are likely to maximize their profits as they import foreign products.

On the whole, while there are largely detrimental effects resulting from the uniformity of objects in the world, it seems to me that these developments are desirable, and all people are entitled to have access to the same products.


Thank you very much for your help!

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,808 2616  
Jul 26, 2017   #2
Trinh, you still have not learned how to analyze the discussion requirements of the essay. In an "or" essay, only one side of the issue to be discussed. That is the side that you support or do not support. This is not a comparison essay, this is a single opinion essay discussion. Another problem with your essay is the wrong formatting of your opening statement. You are not allowed to present your opinion in the opening statement because that is only the summary and outline of the discussion. It is not the discussion itself. Since you cannot develop your explanations within the opening statement, it is best to save that for the body of the essay. An example of the correct prompt paraphrase is:

Globalization is allowing people to buy the same products regardless of where they are in the world. The trend has seen people of the world becoming far too similar in many ways due to the ready availability of similar goods. While others think this is a negative thing, this essay will look into the positive effects of this trend.

I believe that this is a positive development because...

Remember, all opening and closing paragraphs need to have at least 3 sentences and represent a presentation of the discussion in paraphrased form each time. Your conclusion did not accomplish this properly. The conclusion should have just offered a summary of the discussion, data, and your opinion.

Basically, your essay should have indicated only the positive aspects because that is what you are supporting. The negatives should have only been mentioned if you were supporting the negative side. This is a one opinion essay. You can justify your opinion using one or 2 paragraphs of reasons to strengthen your discussion.
m9511075 1 / 1  
Jul 26, 2017   #3
You should only talk about one side. In your introduction, you consider it to be a positive development, so throughout your essay you should only be talking about the positive developments of having same products all around the world. As well, in your conclusion paragraph you should be restating your mentioned points and your thesis.

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