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Posts by IELTS JOHN [Suspended]
Name: john
Joined: Aug 25, 2017
Last Post: Sep 12, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Philippines

Displayed posts: 5
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IELTS JOHN   
Aug 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / A large proportion of budget should be diverted from treatment to spending on health and education [2]

treating or preventing?



It is a common trend to some nations to distribute a huge proportion of its health budget to education and measures of prevention rather than cure. While distributing a significant amount to health education and prevention is of great importance, treatment is a better investment.

Firstly, serious illness are unavoidable. For instance, cancer can randomly affect anyone, including people who has the most intensive knowledge on health and the healthiest lifeste. Therefore, it would be pointless to divert a bigger fund to health education if such diseases exists.

Secondly, the society is already aware of what and what not to avoid. Basic hygiene and a healthy lifestyle have already been embedded to them growing up. It is a matter in which a person will follow it or not.

Finally, the price of treatment is much expensive than health education and prevention. Therefore, if budget would be limited, treatment would definitely be compromised, since funds will run out faster.

In conclusion, a country's budget on health can greatly affect the population. Though both health related education and treatment needs funds, it cannot be denied that the latter is the better choice ldue to the statements provided above.
IELTS JOHN   
Sep 12, 2017
Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree that increased global tourism are more harmful than beneficial? [3]

International tourism - goods and bads



International tourism has its merits and negative effects. Though some believe that it is more harmful then beneficial, I believe that the increasing trend of global tourism is a positive development.

Firstly, the economy will reap the most out of international tourism. As more tourists visit a country, more products and services are going to be needed to satisfy the growing demand. Therefore, more business establishments are going to be constructed as well as more job opportunities will be available to the locals.This in turn will amplify a nations monetary gains due to these inprovementd. For instance, Malaysia recently focused its attention to tourism making it the top destination to visit in Asia. As a result, it concentrated on improving its services to tourists by byilding more hotels, hence, producing more jobs available for the locals.

Secondly, apart from the economy, tourists may also benefit from global tourism. Not only could it provide enjoyment from visiting a foreign land but also gives tourists additional knowledge on the nations history. Furthermore, it can expose the traveler to a wide variety of culture which then can lead to the discovery of new interests. For example, more and more millenials are concerting to Hinduism after visting India.This is mainly because of the enlightenment that was experienced during the trip.

To conclude, among the many areas that global tourism affects positively, the effects on the economy and the tourists are the most notable ones . Althouh tourism on a global scale have harmful and beneficial traits, I believe that benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

Please critique my essay, specially on my grammar.

Thank you all
IELTS JOHN   
Sep 12, 2017
Writing Feedback / Do you agree or disagree that increased global tourism are more harmful than beneficial? [3]

thank you very much holt, you are very helpful. May i ask another question? ( i just did). can you please elaborate on what are the 3 writing formats that i have used incorrectly? i really want to eliminate my faulty writing style as early as now, since i will retake the ielts next month. btw i need a 7. thank you again
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