International tourism - goods and bads
International tourism has its merits and negative effects. Though some believe that it is more harmful then beneficial, I believe that the increasing trend of global tourism is a positive development.
Firstly, the economy will reap the most out of international tourism. As more tourists visit a country, more products and services are going to be needed to satisfy the growing demand. Therefore, more business establishments are going to be constructed as well as more job opportunities will be available to the locals.This in turn will amplify a nations monetary gains due to these inprovementd. For instance, Malaysia recently focused its attention to tourism making it the top destination to visit in Asia. As a result, it concentrated on improving its services to tourists by byilding more hotels, hence, producing more jobs available for the locals.
Secondly, apart from the economy, tourists may also benefit from global tourism. Not only could it provide enjoyment from visiting a foreign land but also gives tourists additional knowledge on the nations history. Furthermore, it can expose the traveler to a wide variety of culture which then can lead to the discovery of new interests. For example, more and more millenials are concerting to Hinduism after visting India.This is mainly because of the enlightenment that was experienced during the trip.
To conclude, among the many areas that global tourism affects positively, the effects on the economy and the tourists are the most notable ones . Althouh tourism on a global scale have harmful and beneficial traits, I believe that benefits outweigh its drawbacks.
Please critique my essay, specially on my grammar.
Thank you all
John, in an effort to show off your English writing skills, you ended up using terms that belong to at least 3 different essay writing formats. Each term that you used, sent the essay further and further off the actual discussion path as required. Your opening paraphrase alone is severely faulty, having changed the prompt discussion totally in its discussion instruction paraphrase. This change has a negative effect on your TA score. It also seems to me that you did not post the full and correct / original prompt requirement along with your response because it is too short and does not contain the discussion outline as suggested by the original prompt. When you post the essay, please make sure that you post the original and complete prompt requirements. If you were to write a paraphrase closer to the original, it should have been presented as:
Some people believe that the global tourism trend has harmful effects on a country. Others are convinced that the growth of global tourism has beneficial effects on a country. In this essay, I will be discussing my agreement with the point of view that global tourism has its benefits due to supporting reasons I will be presenting in the paragraphs below.
I believe that global tourism offers benefits to the country that is involved in it. One of the major reasons that I support this point of view is that...
Aside from the aforementioned reason, one must also consider that international tourists...
Therefore, my conclusion is that...
Please pay particular attention to your spelling. Remember, your LR and GRA scores will be dependent upon the proper use and spelling of the words in English. So mistakes like inprovementd (improvement) and concerting (converting) may seem like nothing to you, but in the end, could result in a final failing score on your part. Be careful. Double check the spelling. Do not rush. Leave yourself with a few minutes to review, edit, and revise your essay before you submit the paper for scoring.
thank you very much holt, you are very helpful. May i ask another question? ( i just did). can you please elaborate on what are the 3 writing formats that i have used incorrectly? i really want to eliminate my faulty writing style as early as now, since i will retake the ielts next month. btw i need a 7. thank you again