Undergraduate / How would you engage the mission of Trinity College during your years on campus? Essay Prompt. [4]

Hi. I would really appreciate some feedback on my essay! Thank you :)

Our mission states: "Trinity College is a community united in a quest for excellence in liberal arts education. Our purpose is to foster critical thinking, free the mind of parochialism and prejudice, and prepare students to lead examined lives that are personally satisfying, civically responsible, and socially useful." How would you engage the mission of Trinity College during your years on campus? (250-650 words).

trinity "independent thinking"

Having attended boarding school since 6th grade, for 9 months each year I followed a cut and dry routine of how I spent my time--5 o'clock morning exercise, 7 o'clock breakfast, 8 o'clock classes, 1 o'clock lunch, 2 o'clock classes, 4 o'clock on the sports field, 6 o'clock study hour, 8 o'clock dinner and lights out by 11--a schedule that has been indelibly imprinted on my mind, and will probably remain even after I leave school. This routine was laced with a set of rules and regulations that kept reminding me to keep my hair neat, shoes polished, nails trimmed and to be well behaved. I was expected to do certain things, things that were expected out of every student in my school. Discipline and obedience were held in higher regard than critical thinking and creative engagement.

What draws me to Trinity College is that it believes in "independent thinking", something I have always longed to do. At the same time, I realize that the freedom to think independently comes with the responsibility to be aware of the consequences of your thoughts and actions. I wish to incorporate the discipline I have acquired through my years at boarding school and direct it toward helping me delve into broader learning possibilities in a constructive way. Only then will I be able to truly develop a perspective of my own.

At Trinity, I want to pursue Liberal Arts education in its true sense. Here, i will not be confined to one particular area of study, and can develop critical interdisciplinary insights. When my beliefs are tested and challenged by different, sometimes contradicting perspectives, it is bound to foster critical thinking. I might be forced to question certain beliefs that I hold true or face moral dilemmas, but I am willing to push the boundaries. My main interests lie in biological sciences, driven by my fascination with biological systems and the underlying mechanisms behind how they function. However, I want to incorporate aspects of the arts and interdisciplinary courses into my education, in order to explore the social, ethical and environmental implications of my work in biology. Awareness and knowledge are the key to making informed decisions and overcoming prejudice and stereotypes. As I examine my work and ideas through various viewpoints, I hope to develop the skills, patience, attentiveness to not only produce independent thought but learn how to transform thought into meaningful action.

Undergraduate / Mount Holyoke Prompt: Why Holyoke? [3]

Please help me out. All suggestions/criticisms are welcome :)

Tell us why you are interested in attending Mount Holyoke College. (250-400 words)

Mount Holyoke can help me become a better person

As Nepal is a developing country, advances in science and technology are often muffled by the quest to attain political stability and attempts to utilize current technologies to its full potential. But despite this, I want to help my country advance in the field of medicine, and to achieve this I need not just knowledge but an overall strong disposition that will give me the strength to overcome all odds. In a country where even in the 21st-century women still face a lot of hardships due to inequality, trying to bring about a change as a woman will surely prove to be challenging. Therefore, the women at Mount Holyoke embody what I aspire to become: fearless, confident, and ingenious.

Mount Holyoke has excelled in the sciences. This is apparent by the great feats achieved by its alumni. The state of the art facilities, expert faculty and encouraging atmosphere will evidently allow me to delve deep into my interest in the biological sciences and equip me with the necessary skills to be competent in my field. I want to be a force to be reckoned with.

Holyoke is booming with diversity. Women from so many walks of life have come together to form such a tight-knit community. I can also take advantage of the Five College Consortium, which will allow me to be part of an even bigger community of students. I think this opens new doors to learning. Having to adapt to diversity at this scale will definitely include having my beliefs tested and challenged by different, sometimes contradicting perspectives. I might be forced to question certain beliefs that I hold true or face moral dilemmas. But I believe this is crucial to allow me to examine my work and ideas through various viewpoints and lead me into making informed decisions.

The various student organizations here are another appealing factor as they seem to be very proactive and engaging. I am particularly interested in the Animal Welfare Association. As an international student, I also seek the financial aid opportunities, and Holyoke is well known for being inclusive and helping out a lot of students like me.

I truly believe that Mount Holyoke can foster my talents and help me transform into the woman I want to become and achieve my goals.

Undergraduate / My gap year has been crucial to a deeper understanding of my country and its culture [3]

Any suggestions are welcome :)

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

A Language Barrier

My visits to my grandmother during the summers consisted mainly of me sitting on a hard wooden bench as she would chatter away excitedly in Newari, our ethnic language. For an hour or two, I would sit there, smile, and nod along, unable to comprehend most of what she was saying, because despite belonging to the Newar ethnic group, I did not speak our language.

I spoke Nepali at home, English, and Hindi at school, and I even started to learn Spanish at some point. I was adept at swiftly moving between these languages, navigating multiple cultures and gaining access to the worlds that each of the languages opened up. I was able to engage with meanings that transcend simple definitions and play with the subtleties that only come with intimately knowing a language--from reading books to bargaining at the local market to sharing jokes with friends.

Most of the elders in my family spoke Newari, including my parents, but despite hearing it all around me, for some reason, it was a language I never learned. During the summer of my gap year, I began to feel curious about why this was the case. It seemed to me that for the younger generations, Newari as a medium of communication was becoming increasingly rare. I quickly learned that parents are hesitant to teach their children Newari because they do not think it will prove to be useful in the long run--few communities speak Newari in a small geographic area--and because of globalization, parents would rather teach kids English as that would give greater access to education and employment prospects. Parents also do not want their children to develop a Newari accent. Knowing this, it did not come as a surprise to me that Newari has been labeled an endangered language by UNESCO.

Like many others, I had hoped to gain new experiences by traveling or volunteering during my gap year, but I came to realize that I did not have to go far to find this -- the opportunity to learn Newari was right at home.

However, this was not as straightforward as it first appeared. The main challenge with learning Newari was that I did not have a formal teacher, nor someone to break down the grammatical structure of the language. The Newari script has become almost obsolete, and there are very few people left who can read and write in it. Given that Newari is for the most part an oral language, its phonetics cannot be expressed accurately by any other script. To learn, I was solely dependent on listening in on conversations between family members and a few online resources. I had to listen attentively and observe more carefully than in any other language. Slowly, I started to gain familiarity with the sounds, and the sounds themselves started to gain meaning. I realized that this process was not only opening me up to a new language but a completely new form of learning as well.

Cultures and traditions are established over time, and so are languages. When a language dies, so does the importance and meaning of the traditions and works of art and literature. Moving away from indigenous languages and traditions in order to assimilate with the dominant culture leads to cultural loss and dilution. The Newars may be a minority, but our culture is rich. I no longer want to be an exemplification of why my language is endangered.

My gap year has been crucial to a deeper understanding of my country and its culture. I have spent these months traveling to different parts of Nepal, visiting historical sites, and trying to immerse myself in Newar culture. While I am not yet fluent in Newari, I can now proudly say that I can follow most of my conversations with my grandmother!