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Posts by abang yoga
Name: Yoga Nugraha
Joined: Mar 14, 2018
Last Post: May 25, 2018
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
From: Indonesia
School: Untirta University

Displayed posts: 10
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abang yoga   
Mar 29, 2018
Writing Feedback / To share information to the public or not [4]

Some suggestions grammar check, hope it will be useful ;

== various information about / on external
== much human beings
== which gives / gave by a professor
== in-depth studies / studied the subject
== also to become the pioneer
== as we all know
== the people that a refocusing on ...
abang yoga   
Mar 29, 2018
Writing Feedback / Should the government control the salaries and limit money people earn. [3]

Some suggestions grammar check, hope it will be useful ;

Grammar suggestions ;
The primary merit are that it enables
a number of children have rewarded opportunity to

Misspelling suggestions ;
... tax from business people which
... public infrastructure
... other aspects
that rich entrepreneurs or billionaires
that wealthy residents
abang yoga   
Mar 29, 2018
Writing Feedback / The diagram about how to get energy from geothermal power plants [3]

Task 1 ; The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.

SOME STEPS FROM GEOTHERMAL POWER PLANTS TO PRODUCE ENERGY



The figure shows the process of geothermal power plants to produce the electricity.

From the beginning, the component process of power plant are started from cold water in the tank. Then, in the below of the tank, there is a pipe around 4.5 km into the ground to pump down the water are going to the injection. After that, the cold water will go through geothermal area (hot stone) and it will become hot water. Next, Hot water will be pumped up to the condenser in the big container and the tool will accommodate the water to be hot air. Furthermore, the steam air is connected to the turbine this is because spinning the turbine to get electrical energy in the generator. After all, generator will send the electrical energy to the tower.

In conclusion, geothermal energy plant is used to create energy with some steps. Heating cold water by geothermal area and transferring the water to be air in the condenser container and also rotates the turbine to produce electricity in the generator.



  • geothermalenergyie.png
abang yoga   
Mar 31, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Test - Does the coverage of sport on television discourage teenagers from exercise? [3]

This corrections might be useful ;

This is suggestions ;
discouragement from / to young adults
the pressure in / on schools
Based on my observations
more time for / of TV competitions
discouragement from / to young generation of taking ...
Grammar check ;
watching sport programs are the method
which makes / made them release
Compare with ...
the adult tends / tended to watch ...
abang yoga   
Apr 2, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS ONE - The percentage of Australian's citizen did some activities [4]

Thanks to everyone who will help me to give suggestions to this writing.

fit australians in different age



The bar graph describes Australian's people did regular physical activity in 2010 divided by age groups

In the youngest age, between 15 to 24, the men was started with 52,8% than women almost 50% did physical activity. Meanwhile, it was surprised where the men with age 25 to 44 were decreased dramatically, it only reached nearly 40% and women keep moving to 53,3 conducted regular physical activity in the age category 45 to 54.

On the other hand, the men activity was gradually increased to 46,7% in the latest age classify whereas the women group was dropped by 47.1%. There was a unique percentage where the last groups between male and female almost had a little different only one percent respectively.

Overall, both men and women conducted regular physical activity had decreased in the 65 years old and over. Although female lower than male in the youngest age but their had an increased at ages 25 to 64 than men.



  • Ielts_1.jpg
abang yoga   
May 23, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 (People argue about children's decision) [6]

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions on matters affecting them.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


protective parents and children's ability to make their own choices



Nowadays, many people claim that the young ages have their choices to choose their lifestyle e.g (cuisine, shirt, and unwind activities). As a result, it will make their youngster only think about what they want. However, people argue that it is very crucial to the youth to make a choice that will influence them.

On the one sight, many parents give the permission to their child to take what they want. This is because to create their confidence when they are growing up. For instance, children when they are buying food, shirt or going to the some places, they can choose by themselves without waiting their parents decision where it might be taking a long time and will protect their freedom. In addition, nothing permission from their parents it would be children over control. For this reason, the youngster does not think about the effect of choosing unhealthy food, impolite dress, and visit a forbidden place. This case should be solved, parents not only give the youth freedom but also give understanding when they choose something.

On the other hand, most of the young children are protected by their parents to make a decision. This is because to safe they from the bad environment. In the young age, children need parents guidance to take something which one is good or bad. However, the strict control from the parents that will make a bad impact on the children character. For instance, children will be lack of confident when they are hanging out with some friends or choosing one thing they want to buy or visit. In case, this should be focused on parents decision which is children not only need the protection but also should give they are learning how to take a good decision.

In conclusion, both of the opinion has plus and minus, people need to concern to the what the children want and making decision when they need to choose something. My opinion is the good way to avoid the youth from over control and parents' protective is hearing what they want and give the suggestion to them which one is better or worse.
abang yoga   
May 24, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 (People argue about children's decision) [6]

Thanks for the feedback.

@chantieh Could you tell me what did you mean about "The reasoning of your writing is still confusing to me." ? Did I write a miss understanding with the topic?

Thank you
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