Letters / Judging book by its cover - Letter to my future roommate, Stanford essay [3]

Hey, guys, I am applying to Stanford this year and would like your opinion on one of my essays:

PROMPT: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

Please don't get discouraged too soon

Hey, you might find my door closed during most of the days, and, if you enter my room, you will probably stumble with piles of books in my bed and music sheets on my piano - unless in Saturdays, my sacred day of tidying up the room -, but don't think me as messy or antisocial; I have a good explanation for that: unfortunately, I am not the light, which travels 3.10^8 m|s and my days lasts only 23h56min04s, so, with so many subjects to study -especially for me, whose mother-language is Portuguese -, piano training, German studies, stock market actions to manage, and researches to carry, going out and ordering my things have to be left in second place. Still, whenever possible, I would much appreciate going to the theatre or to museums.

Despite that, if you need any assistance, please, just knock on the door and enter. At first, you might be scared by me bending towards a book and listening to Vivaldi in high volume - a weird scene, I admit -, but a tap on my back should be enough to get my attention. If you need an explanation of some topic - especially, in Biology and Math -; if you are hungry, or, if you only need a friend to talk to, I shall be your teacher, cooker - actually, one of my hobbies - and friend.

Therefore, please, don't judge this book for its cover: albeit weird at first, I am sure we can help one another in this four amazing years.

Thank you for your help!

Undergraduate / Columbia Personal Statement - "Why Columbia?" [4]

Greetings, handsome - or beautiful - friends,

I will apply for Columbia and would thus appreciate if you could give me some feedback on my essays. Here is the first one:

Essay prompt:

Tell us what you value most about Columbia and why.

(300 words or less)

Discussing not only Science and its applications with the Frontiers of Science classes, but also Arts, History, Philosophy, and Literature as part of the Core Curriculum is what excites me the most about Columbia. In this context, while Columbia's curriculum aligns with my desire for a more holistic formation, indispensable for my actions as not only a researcher, but as a citizen concerned with our future challenges in both Biology and society, its Music Humanities classes offer me the prospect of continuing my piano and music composition studies, thus perfectly matching my academic and personal expectations.

Moreover, Columbia's commitment to research - as shown by its more than 200 research centers -, its enormous variety of research areas, and excellent faculty members - specially Caleb Scharf, whose lecture "The Copernicus Complex: Are We Special in the Cosmos?" has recently drawn my interest to the field of Astrobiology and the prospects of extraterrestrial life - offer me a unique opportunity of exploring the field of the Fundamental Researches, which appeal to me as a transformative journey through understanding our Universe and how life ended up here.

Finally, the enormous variety of Columbia's student body, with learners from the most diverse ethnics, religions and countries, offers me a enriching prospect of intellectual growth, as I am able to confront so distinct points of views during my four graduation years, learning from new cultures and life experiences, which my travelling through Europe and America - where I met people ranging from a witch to a former war prisoner whose favorite occupation was simply eating every day once more to a real witch - proved to be such an amazing experience.

Thus, Columbia should be the best place for me to explore my curiosity and love for learning.

Thanks a lot for your help!

Best regards,
Arthur.

Undergraduate / "See the beauty of the tiniest things" - Yale Supplemental Essays [3]

supplemental short essays for yale

Hey guys, could you take a look at my Yale supplemental essays? I suppose they are not that good - do you have any advice in this case?

Students at Yale have plenty of time to explore their academic interests before committing to one or more major fields of study. Many students either modify their original academic direction or change their minds entirely. As of this moment, what academic areas seem to fit your interests or goals most comfortably? Please indicate up to three from the list provided.

Biology (Molecular, Cellular and Developmental) and Chemistry.

Why do these areas appeal to you? (100 words or fewer)

"See the beauty of the tiniest things", my grandma always said. There is probably no better definition for Chemistry and Biology than this phrase.
Think on the Milky Way, one galaxy among 200,000,000,000 others in the Universe. Among its more than 100,000,000,000 stars, there is a tiny one called "Sun". Orbiting it, there is a pale blue dot, just like any rocky planet of that system, but, if you look closely, you will find us. The beauty of Biology and Chemistry lays at understanding the intricated harmony of this diminutive spectacle we call "life".

What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words o fewer)

When I first heard Liszt's "Liebestraum no. 3", I had been drawn to that tempestuous story been told to me with such a powerful mute expression. This power of translating our feelings without words made me start playing the piano two years ago, despite already being old. What appeals to me the most at Yale is not having to give up on this new passion while majoring Biology and Chemistry and working to use apoptosis as a therapeutical treatment for maladies like cancer, merging, every day, Science - the language of the world - and Music - the language of the emotions.

[This ending is terrible]

What inspires you? (35 words or fewer)

What inspires me to learn every day is knowing that, in a universe of at least 13.8 billion light-years, with roughly two billions galaxies, we don't even know how exactly plants make photosynthesis.

Yale's residential colleges regularly host conversations with guests representing a wide range of experiences and accomplishments. What person, past or present, would you invite, and what would you ask?

I would ask Gauss: "Herr Gauss, since science intends to allow to understand the world, as our knowledge becomes progressively more specialized, how can we still make it accessible even for the lay people?"

You are teaching a Yale course. What is it called? (35 words or fewer)

Understanding the world: how science shaped History, Philosophy, Arts and Literature by changing how we see ourselves and our universe.

Most first-year Yale students live in suites of four to six people. What do you hope to add to your suitemates' experience? What do you hope they will add to yours? (35 words or fewer)

I will probably be the guy of the bad jokes, the coffee black as death and the Futhark runes, always there to back people up. In return, I wish my suitemates to reveal their passions and quirky side.

Thank you in advance!

Undergraduate / Common application essay - When that Eisenbahn hit me [3]

background, identity essay

Hello,

I just wrote an essay for the Common Application on the topic: "Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." Could you give me some feedback? I suppose I should develop my ideas a little more - what do you think?

It was summer after ninth grade. Sweating, I run the stairs up, ignoring my cat's protests for a stroke. My back bending with the weight of the bags I carry, I open the door wide and, after a deep breath, scream for my mother, announcing that I'd collected the donations for Lavras that year. This was when that Eisenbahn hit me.

Instead of my mother's enthusiastic medium-pitched timbre, a mutter reaches my ears, and, as I carefully step into my house, a nauseant and wispy smell initially stuns me. Looking ahead after dominating my stomach, I see my mother lying on the wet floor, feebly trying to hide from my sight; besides her, the source of the stink: four empty bottles of beer. Numb, I watch her giving confusing excuses. Only after minutes of hesitation, I lean over her, feeling the alcoholic sweat dripping on my shirt, as we make our way to her bedroom. In spite of her useless objections, I place my mother's frail body on the bed.

Though rare at first, the scenes of this dreadful woman became more and more present in my life. Soon, I had to replace my mother in my house, cooking and cleaning for my brother and father after going to school, only to hide in other worlds at night: Philip K. Dick and Asimov would accompany me to planets far away from my reality, making me forget the body which laid, semiconscious, on the bed. I was sure the world was fulfilled with worst miseries, but I couldn't avoid feeling helpless as the image of that decrepit woman washed away the old pictures of my mother, the teacher who would spend her nights reading Lord of the Rings for me and my brother before we slept.

After that endless summer and the subsequent month, I was determined to forget what happened at home. As result, to forget what awaited me after class, I started consuming my time with other students. Tutoring was, in that time, my escape route, through which I shared what really mattered to me: science, the lens of the past and the future. And by the end of the year, I also took part in ACDEM, a project for helping children physical and mental problems. When I first went there, seeing those kids determinated to fight their diseases, I couldn't help, but to think about my mother. She, like those people, had health problems - but, unlike them, she was alone. It was easy for me to blame her for the alcoholism, but did I ever try to help her overcome it?

I was able to captivate my friends with science and make them laugh in difficult time, but I hadn't use my jokes or smile with the one who raised me and, now, so badly needed my help. The next day, after my German class, I bought my mother's favorite chocolate and placed it next to her pillow, with a small letter, despite the terrible memories entering her room always brought back. The next day, we surrendered.

Nowadays, though still fighting alcoholism, my mother has my help, as I accompany her during her theraphy and, in spite of not being a psicologist, try to make her days happier. However painful her addition has been to both of us, it also revealed my passion for science and teaching; without it, I wouldn't be myself.