Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] Should children read entertainment books only [3]

Hi!
This is a nicely developed essay. However, there are some patterns you need to take note of and try not to repeat again. Hope my suggestions help

... viewpoints toward to question ... Other, however, ... Personally, ... as the latter one for ...

- wrong use of grammar

... Moreover, reading books a ... in compare to, for example, watching television. Reading book offers a great help in promoting children's imagination. Instead of having situation presented in ... as they read book.

- word misuse

- grammatical errors

- lack of article

... stories from entertainments books. ... people in their conversation and ...

- plural/singular confusion

From all aforementioned advantageous, I am ... Not only help children to relax, reading books ...

- vocabulary misuse

- grammatical errors

Writing Feedback / Equal Distribution; there should be same chances for both genders to get post-graduate studies [5]

I agree that you need to work on a few points for this essay

1. There are some visible grammatical mistakes
2. There is a lot of informal language used

Please write it again so we could work on it more <3

Writing Feedback / IELTS task2: Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. [8]

Try to paraphrase the question better in the introduction. When the question is mentioning the two groups, you don't need to do the same!

For example,

With the rise of social media, personal, real-time interactions have decreased dramatically. Friendships have turned into encounters through social media and internet. Although some individuals believe this to be beneficial in the long run, there are people who still insist on the importance of direct, in-person contact.

Also I don't understand YOUR point of view exactly. So it is good or do we need in-person interactions?

Writing Feedback / IELTS1:THE CHART SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF MALE AND FEMALE WHO WERE OVERWEIGHT IN AUSTRALIA 1980, 2010 [4]

There are lots of tiny grammatical slips Tina

e.g.

people who had carried excess weight
Overally overall, it shows ... men who are were overweight has had been more than women in the those 10 years.

Please rewrite the essay and post it so we could work on it more

Writing Feedback / IELTS task2: Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. [8]

@Ann_Ng right. It should be on one hand, on the other hand