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[IELTS TASK 2] Should children read entertainment books only


anhpnguyen 4 / 4 1  
Mar 27, 2019   #1
Some parents believe that children should not waste time by reading entertainment books, but instead they should spend time to read educational books only. What is your opinion about this?

children should read a wild range of books



People tend to develop different viewpoints toward to question on the type of books that children should read. Some people believe that children should spend their time reading educational books exclusively to acquire useful knowledge. Other, however, claim that children should also read books for entertainment purpose. Personally, I find myself in the same place as the latter one for the following reasons.

Firstly, reading books for entertainment brings children a myriad of advantageous in term of stress relief from school works. It is undeniable that children nowadays are lacks of entertainment options to relax after schools. Therefore, reading comics will assist children in relieving stress and achieving school-life balance. Moreover, reading books a more advantageous form of entertainment for children in compare to, for example, watching television. Reading book offers a great help in promoting children's imagination. Instead of having situation presented in pictures, children will imagine it themselves as they read book.

Secondly, reading books as an entertainment option paves the way for children to adopt positive personal traits. Given the fact that children can enjoy more happiness when reading books for amusement, they will grow into happy and fulfilled adults. In addition, children can learn a wide range of humorous stories from entertainments books. This allows children to engage other people in their conversation and therefore, improve their communication skills.

From all aforementioned advantageous, I am strongly convinced that children should be encouraged to read a wild range of books including entertainment ones. Not only help children to relax, reading books for entertainments is useful to develop children's imagination as well as soft skills.

ghadianysaina - / 5 2  
Mar 27, 2019   #2
Hi!
This is a nicely developed essay. However, there are some patterns you need to take note of and try not to repeat again. Hope my suggestions help

... viewpoints toward to question ... Other, however, ... Personally, ... as the latter one for ...

- wrong use of grammar

... Moreover, reading books a ... in compare to, for example, watching television. Reading book offers a great help in promoting children's imagination. Instead of having situation presented in ... as they read book.

- word misuse

- grammatical errors

- lack of article

... stories from entertainments books. ... people in their conversation and ...

- plural/singular confusion

From all aforementioned advantageous, I am ... Not only help children to relax, reading books ...

- vocabulary misuse

- grammatical errors
yanhong 2 / 4 2  
Mar 27, 2019   #3
@anhpnguyen
Hi, the structure of this essay looks fine, but there are some areas that you still need to improve. Some sentences sounds unnatural and do not follow the right grammatical rules。 For example, the first sentence in the first paragraph can be written in a more precise way, like: People have different views about what kinds of books that children should read. There are various typos in the essay, like" myraid". In the first body graph, the sentence" it is undeniable..." is too strong. Are you 100 % sure that children don't have more options to entertain nowadays?.

When you try to give an example by using the phrase like for example, should remember to present a whole sentence rather than a phrase.

I hope these suggestions may be helpful:)


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