Undergraduate / My world-- UC personal statement [3]

Please give feedback. I dont know if the topic is too typical. I might go and write about something else, more unique, if necessary.

Being the first in my family to go to college is not easy at all. Every time I ask my mom about college requirements, she says, "I don't know." Every time I ask my dad about financial aid, he says, "I don't know." Obviously, they don't know much about education, but I don't blame them.

My parents are immigrants from the Philippines. They brought me here, in the United States, when I was two years old along with my sister and brother. They don't know how to speak English very well so they couldn't really help me or my siblings at school. I grew up learning only from my teachers, knowing they're the only ones who can help me get to where I want to be in life.

When I entered high school, the fact that none of my family members went to college really hit me as a major disadvantage. I had to figure out everything by myself. I felt like a lost child in circus full of distractions. The only thing motivating me was myself. I knew I didn't want to be like my parents. I wanted to be successful, have a career that I loved, and most importantly, I wanted to be able to help my own kids in their road of education.

I was aware that what I did I high school would affect what I did after high school so I did as much as I can. I took all honors courses, joined several school activities, and became involved in my school's magnet program. I would constantly check up on certain test dates and deadlines, I would always ask my counselor questions about college, and I would incessantly remind myself that my dream of being successful is possible; it wasn't going to be easy, but it was possible.

My world consists of challenges, and the fact that I had to go through them alone made me the independent person I am today. I know how tough it is for first generation students to go to college. That's why I aspire to become a guidance counselor or teacher. I want to help those students who have questions that their parents can't answer. When their parents tell them "I don't know," just as my parents have, I want to turn to them and say "I know. This is what it is and this is how you do it..."

Undergraduate / Ready, Set, Dance UC application [2]

PROMPT 2:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I revised it, a little. Tell me what you think. Thanks guyys!

Ready, Set, Dance

There I was, beaming with excitement and standing before a thousand eyes. Front row, center stage. My heart was racing as I posed and waited for my cue. The music ascended in volume, and I remember thinking to myself, "Ready or not, here I go."

My mind went completely blank. Instead of moving in the lyrical piece that I've been practicing for weeks before, I just froze, still smiling and trying to hide how mortified I was. My first high school performance turned out to be the most humiliating thing. I ran off stage crying. Backstage, everyone tried comforting me, telling me it was okay. Eventually, they convinced me that they were right.

Despite what had happened, I decided that I was going to join Dance Club and audition for the Performing Dance Company. Because my school is a Performing Arts magnet school, it took rigorous dance courses to work my way up in the dance company. However, I was determined to prove to myself that I was better than that incident. I volunteered for after school sessions. I joined other school activities that involved any form of dance. I practiced until the movements were natural to me. Within months, I was gradually growing as a dancer, and everyone took notice. The day of auditions finally came, and I could not stop shaking from nervousness. I thought to myself again, "Ready or not, here I go."

After auditions, a sheet of paper was taped on the wall with the names of those who made it into the company. As I walked towards it, I took a deep breathe and told myself I did the best I could. Then, I saw that my name was in it. From that moment on, I realized that all I really needed was faith in myself. With every performance, I fell more in love with dancing. It is that one thing in my life where I can express myself, where I can release all my emotions, and where I can just go let loose and be crazy. I dedicated 3 years of high school to the Performing Dance Company, and I continue to do so today.

Dance has had a positive affect on my self-esteem, and I'm very proud of myself for getting back up on my feet after that performance. From this whole experience, I learned great dancers are not great because of their technique. They are great because of their passion. If I have so much compassion about something, then there's no way I can fail. I stumbled, fell, and made hundreds of mistakes, all of which only pushed me to improve myself. Not only have I became a stronger dancer, I also became a better, more confident person who does not give up when things get tough. I take these valuable lessons learned with everything that I do, every dream I have in mind, and every goal I intend to achieve. My whole life is like a stage. Dancing is my role, my passion, and my home. I know I'm not perfect, but I can show that I'm giving it all I have. Whatever obstacles life throws at me, I'll overcome them by what I have learned from dance. So ready or not, here I go.