Writing Feedback / Argumentative essay- CBEST: "We succeed only as we identify in life a single overriding objective" [3]

president D.Eisenhower statement

Please help me review my essay.

PROMPT: Former U.S president General D.Eisenhower once said, "We succeed only as we identify in life ....a single overriding objective and make all other considerations bend to that one objective." To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write an essay for an audience of educated adults, stating your position. Use logical arguments and specific examples to support your position.

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I strongly agree with General D. Eisenhower that we succeed only as we identify in life a single overriding objective and make all other considerations bend to that one objective. This will help us to focus and have a sense of direction in our pursuit for success. Also, it will enable us to be masters and leaders in anything we have chosen to pursue in life. It will save time and success will be achieved faster if we identify our purpose and focus on it.

Identifying a particular objective and channeling all our attention towards it will help us to be more focused and have a sense of direction. And this yields success. Been focused helps us to work hard towards a particular goal. Moreover, who wants to mingle with someone who is going nowhere in life?. Thomas Edison who produced the light bulb identified what he wanted to produce and focused all his attention on it. Even after several failed attempts, he was able to produce the light bulb. Today, his name is in the history books as one of the greatest inventors. That is the outcome of identifying a particular goal, focusing on it, and achieving success.

In addition, this will help us to be masters and leaders in anything we have chosen to pursue in life. Do you remember the saying "jack of all trades is a master of none"? We become better and even professionals in a particular thing when we identify it, focused on it, and channel all our considerations towards it. This will not only make us successful but also help us to achieve it at the right time.

We can achieve success faster and time wastage will be avoided if we identify what we want to achieve and make every other considerations bend towards that. A student who identifies his passion to be a teacher will simply make inquiries. After that, he will acquire the right certifications and become a teacher. At this point he has achieved his goal. But someone who is not sure of what he wants, might end up jumping from one career to another. Which will delay him in achieving a particular goal.

In the final analysis, it is vital to identify to identify what we want in life and channel all our considerations towards it in order to achieve success. This will enable us to be focused, become professionals and save time. Remember a "stitch in time saves nine".

Writing Feedback / Explain a risk you have taken in your life. What did you learn from it? - CBEST [2]

I am preparing for my CBEST writing exam this month. Please help me review my essay. I will appreciate any advise.

PROMPT:
Explain a risk you have taken in your life. What did you learn from it?

ANSWER:

Most times life is unpredictable, and sometimes we take risks to achieve certain goals in life. I used to hear this saying "love is blind" but I never knew I will be a victim. Three years ago, I met this beautiful girl on social media and after months of constant communication we fell in love. But the challenge was the distance between us because I lived and worked in Nigeria while she lived and worked in America. So, we decided to be visiting each other whenever we are on vacation. Though that was not enough. We later got married during one of her visits to Nigeria. But the major challenge was who will relocate amongst us because we need to live together as husband and wife.

I was working as a health and safety officer with an oil company in Nigeria and my wife was working as a registered nurse in America. This is where one of us needs to take a risk and relocate. I was so confused and scared. Lots of questions kept popping up in my head. If I relocate, how am I going to adjust to the new environment? What about my job? How I am I supposed to cope without my family and friends around me?

After much deliberation, I decided to face my fears and relocate. First, I went to my office and dropped my resignation letter. Also informed colleagues of my decision to join my wife in America and everyone was surprised. My little sister wouldn't stop crying because she loved staying around me. On the other hand, my wife was happy because am coming to live with her.

Five months later, I relocated to America and it was not an easy decision for me. It was difficult to settle down. I had culture shock, struggled to find the job of my choice, missed my friends and family. I became frustrated. But my wife supported me all the way. I learned their English language and culture. After four months I got a job. This made me stronger and I eventually settled down.

What I learned from it? I have learned to take bold steps and pursue my dreams. Without taking this risk I wouldn't have been able to be with my wife, learn new culture and American tradition. Today, I believe in taking reasonable and calculated risks because my success might depend on it.

Writing Feedback / My Friendship - a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? - CBEST [3]

Question:

Describe a setback that you have faced.

How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?

ANSWER:

My father once told me that obstacles are experienced in our journey through life, but what matters is how we handle it. I never believed this until my only brother whom I have always shared all my secrets, dreams, and academic problems with, relocated from Nigeria to America. I felt devastated and lonely which negatively affected my social and academic life.

Right from my childhood, my life had always revolved around my only brother Jeff. Though he was two years older than me, we were good playmates. He taught me mathematics on a daily which helped to improve my score in exams. Immediately after high school, Jeff received a scholarship to study Law at Michigan state university. I had mixed feelings about it, first, I was happy for him but on the other hand, I was sad because I will miss him. When he finally relocated from Nigeria to America, I felt devastated. I had no one to share my secrets with or teach me mathematics, and my academic life dwindled. My mathematics grade went as low as from A to C. Honestly, I graduated from high school with a low GPA.

My story changed when I gained admission to high school. During my first week in school, I met this tall black guy by named John. We coincidentally took some classes together, like Physiology, English 100 and mathematics. John took his studies seriously by constantly doing his homework and paying attention in class. This got me close to him, and through constant interaction, we became good friends. At the end of our first semester, John scored A in almost all his courses. Sequel to that, I urged him to form a study that enabled us to learn from each other. I later found out that John has almost the same similarities as my brother. We became very close and he became my confidant. He taught me mathematics and the vacuum created by Jeff's relocation gradually got filled up by John's presence.

My friendship with John restored my confidence and happiness. Through his assistance, my mathematics grades improved significantly. I later became one of the best mathematics students in our class.

But if such a thing happens again, I will rather mingle with people, make good friends and seek for help where necessary than grumble in my solitude life.

Writing Feedback / Write about your hero. Identify who the person is, and why he or she is your hero...... CBEST [2]

PROMPT: All of us have some point in our lives had someone whom we have admired, someone we have looked up to. Write about your hero. Identify who the person is, and why or she is your hero. What qualities does he or she possess that you admire? What have you learned from your hero that has influenced who you are today?

Sometimes, I see heroes as angels sent from above because of their achievements and contributions to the society which has a positive influence in our lives. Some people have celebrities and wealthy people as their heroes, but in most situations, our heroes are closer to us than we expect. Your dad, mum, sister, brother or even your neighbor might be that hero your searching for. My mum's influence in my life cannot be estimated by mere words, especially when my dad died and left me and my only sister. As a single mum, my mum made sure we did not suffer, rather she struggled to provide all our needs. She single-handedly raised me and my only sister. She is my hero.

I was only 9 years old, and my sister was 12 years old when my dad died via a motor accident. His car collided with a drunk driver's car who refused to obey the traffic stop. The most annoying part is that the drunk driver who caused the accident ran away before people could get to the sight. The doctors could not do anything to rescue him from the cold hands of death. Tears poured out like an ocean and our eyes were heavy as my dad passed away on that faithful afternoon, leaving me, my sister and my mum to mourn. I watched the world crumble at my feet. On my dad's grave side, my mum screamed 'I will take care of these children, they will not suffer as long as I live'. She kept to her words.

How did she become such an important person in my life? Growing up, my dad was the financial pillar in the house. As a high school teacher, he provided for the family. After his death, we struggled financially. We could no longer afford new clothes, I was made to wear left-over clothes from my cousins to school. My friends made fun of my clothes and I cried most of the times. I started avoiding school because of this. My mum who worked as chef in a restaurant decided to take a second job as a cleaner in a hotel to buy me all the clothes I needed. She worked 6 days a week, and sometimes had to shuttle between her first job and her second job without coming home. My mum changed all my clothes and friends no longer laughed at me in school. She is a very hard-working woman.

Another quality I admired from my mum is her motivational support in the face of failure. I remembered when I failed my biology exam, I thought I was not intelligent like my peer group. The thought of leaving school was crowding my mind. My mum called me one night, and after looking at my result I thought she will be so mad at me for failing the exam, but rather she gave me a hug. She looked me straight into the eyes and said, "your failure does not define you but your ability to learn from it and move on". She paid for a biology tutor for me who comes to the house to teach me and my biology score on the next exam was the best in the class, in fact I fell in love with course.

I learned a lot from this wonderful woman that perseverance pays, and never to give up in the face of failures. As a result of her support, I fell in love with biology to the extent that I decided to major in Biochemistry in the university. Four years later, I graduated from the university with honors in Biochemistry. As my mum will always tell me 'Your failures does not define you but your ability to learn from them and move on"

Writing Feedback / Peace & Justice Difficult situation in conflict resolution. How you handled the situation. (CBEST) [2]

PROMPT: In teaching and in life, people sometimes face difficult situations about whether to intervene in a conflict between people, such as students or other teachers. Concerns about how one will be perceived, fear of personal danger, or sometimes even ambiguity about whether it is better to let the parties resolve the conflict themselves all can make the decision about whether to intervene a challenging one. In an essay to be read by an audience of educated adults, describe a situation in which you faced such a decision about whether to intervene, and explain how you handled the situation.

I have always believed in peace and justice. I guess my faith was tested on that faithful day I saw this crying boy on the corner of my street. His clothes were stained with dirt, and his eyes were red and filled with tears. I was moved with pity as I approached this slim and gangly boy. He explained how he is being chastised by two bullies in school. His small body stature has made him a target for these two bullies - James and John. He found it difficult to walk freely in school without being scared. I was moved with pity; I hugged him and decided to help him fight off these bullies. With those assurances, he cleaned up his tears and told me that his name was Jeff.

As I lay down on my bed listening to some cool music with my iPhone, I was lost in thought about Jeff's unfortunate predicament. The first thing that was whispered into my ears was, "Find another route for Jeff; it will help him avoid those bullies, especially on his way back from school." "Oh, that is a good idea," I said to myself. The next day, I met Jeff on my way to the classroom and explained another route he could follow on his way back from school. This will help him to avoid these bullies since they mostly follow the same route after school. He agreed with my suggestion and followed the alternative route. To my greatest surprise, they still found him since they were already familiar with most streets within the neighborhood. I felt worried and eager to help him.

What else can I do to help this boy? I asked myself. I needed to go back to the drawing board and re-strategize. I remember my old days of karate training when I was one of the best karate students. I decided to teach him karate to enable him to fight off these bullies. The following day, we met, and I started showing him all the karate moves he needed to defend himself. He practiced with me for two days, and I believed he was good. After school the next day, I saw Jeff sitting at the corner of the street with black eyes and dirty clothes. It was then I realized that two days of karate training was not enough for him to defend himself from these two bullies. Despite all these failures, I still assured him of my full support, and he can always count on me.

Having exhausted all my strategies, I made up my mind to fight for him. On Monday morning, as I went to school, I realized that Jeff had started avoiding people including me. Of course, I know the reason: the poor boy has gone through a lot at the hands of James and John. This increased my desire to help this poor boy. After school, I saw Jeff encircled by these two bullies; I shouted, "If you have to beat him, then you have to go through me first!" They were shocked; of course, I looked bigger than them, and I was ready to defend Jeff with every strength in me. The boys immediately retreated and left Jeff alone. From that day, Jeff became my best friend. Since the bullies always saw us together, they never bullied him again. He became a happy and free boy in school.

In conclusion, I have learned to assist in conflict resolution, though it sometimes comes with some negative consequences, like personal danger. But the joy I derive after the resolution of such conflict is immense