Writing Feedback / IELTS Academic 14, test 2: one of the biggest problems of our time is the loss of particular species [6]

Hello.

This is my first attempt to write an IELTS Writing Task 2. Can someone please check to see what I need to fix and improve, and estimate the band score of this writing please?

Thank you so much.

Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Environmental problems are attracting raging concerns all around the world with their damaging effects on human life. While the extinction of plant and animal species is said to be the main problem these days, some people are also considering other ones. This essay will discuss what is more important to mankind.

Nowadays, species of animals or plants going extinct is a major environmental problem. it is human activities the one that has been rapidly accelerating it at an alarming rate. An instance is hunting rhinos to extinction for their horn, as many people believe that owning one might bring them luck and powers. As a result, many other species are endangered or no longer exist. This leads to natural imbalance, loss of diversity, and a broken food chain. For example, a whale eats 40 tons of food per day, if it disappeared, all the small creatures below would be too abundant, thus might disrupt the marine environment. In other words, once a species' extinction happened, the others could be at risk too, and it consequently triggers negative changes to the environment, which in turn affects negatively to human life.

However, in addition to the problems mentioned above, there are also many other significant ones as well, such as pollution, climate change, ozone layer depletion, natural resources depletion, natural disasters, etc. As proof, pollution harms all the living creatures', including our health. All of these are having serious impacts on nature and human life. Moreover, they are not standing alone but is related to another. For instance, climate change leads to natural disasters like floods, drought, ice melting, etc which bring damages to human life and the economy. Therefore human needs to study, and together join in cooperation in efforts to find solutions to all of the problems.

In conclusion, it's hard to say one is the main problem of our time. In my opinion, only by considering and resolving all the environmental problems and adopting comprehensive means of action that can a better environment be guaranteed in the future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: advantages and disadvantages of keeping animals in zoos [4]

Thanks in advance for commenting on my work.

animals in captivity

Topic: Some experts believe it is better for animals to live in zoos where they are safe and are given all the food they need

Do you think that living in zoos has more advantages or more disadvantages for animals?

We have been keeping animals in zoos for a very long time. It is believed that because zoos can provide safety and food to animals, it is better for them to live there. However, there are several points we should take account of when doing this.

The advantages of the zoos are obvious. When staying in the zoos, the animals are safe from predators, harsh environment conditions, and are provided with enough and proper food and care. For animals that are rare or in danger of extinction, this is also a crucial part of action to an effort of conservation and protection. As they can lead peaceful life without worrying about anything, we can help them gradually raise their number again. Therefore, zoos play an essential part of taking after animal activities.

Nevertheless, for the animals kept in zoos, there are also some drawbacks. They can easily lose their natural habits and instincts when separated from their natural habitat for too long, so it's difficult for it to return to wildlife. For example, a lion born and growing up in zoo environment couldn't know how to hunt preys and live out of the zoo. Moreover, the conditions and facilities of some of the zoos, such as some ones in Vietnam, are not really well preserved and developed, on top of that, the hot and humid weather of Vietnam might make a huge difficulty for them, so the animals may not be taken after well enough and be in good state. Thus, for the sake of animal, it is best that we should be mindful of these factors and attempt to build their living space to be as near to their natural habitat as possible.

Based on the points given above, although zoos protect animals in captivity and contribute to the conservation, we also have to pay attentions to the states of the zoos to create suitable environment for animals' overall development. In my view, the advantages are equal to the disadvantages.