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Posts by Tai351 [Suspended]
Name: Tai Nguyen
Joined: Nov 14, 2020
Last Post: Jan 13, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Viet Nam
School: An Bien High School

Displayed posts: 6
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Tai351   
Nov 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / Physical and mental strength, which is more important in sport? Discuss both and give opinion [2]

factors to be successful in sport



Recently, there have been many dabates surrounding whether human's physical or mental ability is crucial in order to be successful in sport. Whereas many people advocate physical strength, others claim that mental strength is more vital. From my standpoint, I believe that each of these view has its own reasons but personally, I support the second view.

To begin with, there is no denying in that to succeed in sport, people need physical strength. As we all know, a strong physical condition is essential in our ordinary life, we need it in working, studying, exercising, playing,... almost every aspect. This importance multiples when it comes to sport competitions. In order to achieve their goal, athletes have to train continuously to improve their physical abilities because in their head, these athletes know that a good physique is extremely vital for success. This has motivated them to train everyday, pushed them to do things that no other can.

A good physical condition is undeniably important, but is it more crucial than a stable mentality? The answer is no. According to a survey, in their training process, many athletes have to deal with a giantic amount of stress, they have to cope with anxiey, frustration, depression,... and other mental issues. This has prevented them, these athletes with exceptional physical abilities, from winning. Therefore, it is clear that a healthy mental condition is vital for success, and probably more crucial than a good physique. Back to the athletes with unstable mental health, if they had stopped for a bit during training, let themselves rest mentally, found ways to solve their problems, they could've performed better. From this we can see that people need to pay more attention to their mentality because it is important and deserved more recognition.

To sum up, both physical and mental strength are vital in order to be successful in sport. However, in many cases, a stable mental health is more crucial than a strong physique and people should focus more on their mentality.
Tai351   
Jan 1, 2021
Writing Feedback / Household power - IELTS writing task 1, diagram [4]

Add a picture next time, it would be easier for others to understand your writing. Usually, when the question ask you to describe a process, go more specifically with each steps, this will help your writing to have a better structure as well as to have enough words required.
Tai351   
Jan 1, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - "Comparison of Films production then and now..." [4]

Your essay is great! However, I personally think that the conclusion can be expended a little bit so that the readers can have better impression of your essay after finish reading, also expanding the last paragraph will help your essay to have better structure. Usually, I tend to give my own opinion, lessons for the readers or predictions related to the topic.

Hope this will help.
Tai351   
Jan 1, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2, TOPIC: IMPACT OF PRIVATE CARS AND SOLUTIONS [5]

Topic:

More and more people are relying on their private car as their major means of transportation.


Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

My essay

Nowadays, car is and will continue to be a widely-used form of transportation. In my opinion, this trend can soon cause alarming problems for the environment as well as people. It is important for all individuals to take action to prevent the matters from getting worse.

To begin with, car, since it was introduced and brought into operation, has caused lots of issues for the environment. Particularly, it is the main source of air pollution and the biggest contributor to global warming. While running, cars produce a concerning amount of toxic fumes, like cacbon dioxide, and release them into the atmosphere. From times to times, the situation gradually gets more serious as these fumes accumulate, directly contributes to global warming.

Besides its impact on the environment, the steadily increasing number of cars also affects people. Traffic congestion is one of the biggest issues. For people's overreliance on cars, the rising frequency of traffic jams is inevitable, causing plenty of problems and inconveniences on people's daily life. Car accident is also a worth-mentioning matter, threatening million lives each year.

To solve the problem, both the authorities and citizens of every nation around the world need to act together. For the authorities, focusing on the development of public transportations and encouraging people to use them can somewhat contribute to improve the situation.However, the main role relies on each individual, people need to acknowledge how private vehicles are affecting this planet and how their actions can create changes.

To conclude, overreliance on private cars has caused many problems not only for the environment but also people themselves. Everyone need to be aware of the situation and take action together to solve the issue.
Tai351   
Jan 13, 2021
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 1 : line graph - domestic access to technology [4]

In my opinion, I think that your writing is great, however, there are still few things to talk about. First, your introduction is so confusing, it should be more direct to the main point so that the examiners can easily understand it. Second, like the previous comment, your writing so long, you should stay at the 170-190 range so that you can get the best score. That's all I've got to say, good luck!
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