Writing Feedback / Children should be encouraged to play outdoors games that require physical activity? [3]

(In this essay I write for my writing task 2, so I hopefully need your feedback for better essays)

Some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoors games that require physical activities instead of playing computer games in their home?

Do you agree or disagree?

Use of computer games by the youngsters at home has become a major issue. It is important to evaluate the influence of this on their mental health and behavior. I am in complete agreement that outdoor games should be encouragedly played by children that desire of physical movements than computer games.

Since computer games are major sources of staying inside the houses of kids, limiting the uses of these games console allows children to participate more in outside playground and they get better health. The young's time and attention is absolutely reserved for video games neither sports or relaxation. By approving them of hanging out with friends and playing sports, children can reduce the ability of gaining weight and negative affects eyesight which leads to promote their health effectively. My niece has a weak eyesight because she is constantly getting more screen time from her tablet playing video games.However, my nephew, who often plays sports and outside games, are healthy and enthusisastic. This is one reason that parents should encourage their kids to join in out door activities.

By removing the time playing online games, kids can spend more hours in academic perfomances and improve social skills for later life. By using time otherwise spent on computer games, the young are likely to form compulsory communication skills through teamwork games, not to mention the time-consumption of inappropriate contents. Therefore, children can prevent from addicting of gaming and focus more on their learning. My niece has few online friends due to her time spent on computer games while my nephew is a positive and sporty kid who has good grades at school and large groups of friends

In conclusion, parents should be a friend with their kids that dissuade the time-consumption of gaming which leads to better personality and health problems. Therefore, i am completely agree that the young should be encouraged to play physical outdoor activities than indoor gaming. The primary purpose of parents is to caring their kids as well as the future generation of healthy and successful people.

Writing Feedback / Focus on traditional classes more or practical subjects more? [NEW]

Some people said that school should focus more on teaching practical subjects such as car maintenence or managing the bank account. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

School has increasingly introduced more practical classes which are focused on teaching skills such as car repairs and financial management. There is an argue whether education's attentions are these subjects or traditional ones are maths and science. It is my point of view that both practical subjects and academic subjects are equally helpful for life basis and occupational purposes.

To begin with, it is important to target at academic subjects such as science or history as providing the compulsory fundamental knowledge demanded for professional careers. By having deeply understanding about scientific subjects, students can easily get their diplomas that allow them to get better studies. Imagine a doctor without a good understanding of biology or an architect who can't stand calculation unit.

Besides the beneficial of these traditional classes, we can not bypass the necessary of practical courses. With the knowing widely about managing a bank account or car adjustment, we are equipped them the essential tools for their forthcoming growth. By using time spent on soft skills classes, they are likely to form valuable experiences through tasks performances and save their time in the future. At school, our education system include lots of practical courses such as financial management or fixing the car and I have become aware more of being mindful and careful. In this way, I have regarded a scholarship about being a multi-tasking student at school.

In conclusion, the balance between traditional classes and practical courses are required in the responsible educational purposes. Therefore I am in complete agreement that schools should equally provide the academic subjects and practical ones as it helps pupils both in the daily lives and authority knowledge.