Undergraduate / Experience That Helpmed Me Learn What Was Important - CommonApp Emotional Essay [4]

This is my main commonapp essay. I'm a borderline applicant and I need this to be really good. However, writing isn't really my forte. Please be harsh and critique it as much as possible :)

Does anyone think I need to completely rewrite it on a different topic?
Sometimes I feel like I should.

USC's speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.

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As she took a seat across from me, the disposition of her weathered face conveyed an existence that could transgress the limits of any ordinary imagination. With pen and notepad in hand, I looked at the wrinkled visage of my grandmother. At age twelve, I had been given an assignment to document my ancestry, an assignment which would become exponentially more significant than I realized at the time.

Grammar, Usage / Antisemitism or anti-Semitism? [8]

Simple question,

Antisemitism or anti-Semitism

Which one is correct? Which one is more correct in the United States?

Undergraduate / "Contribute To Life At Rice" - Rice Supplement [4]

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)

The horseradish bottle that sat on the table contained a purple concoction of a peculiar odor. The substance, which is made from the root of a plant, has always fascinated me because it clearly has no properties that would in any way remind me of a horse (or a radish). This unique condiment, however, is significant for a much different reason; in the Soviet Union, horseradish was the only condiment widely available to its people.

It was somebody's birthday and, as by tradition, dozens of relatives flocked to one large table that was submerged in food. When my eyes happened to fall upon the horseradish, I began to think about the endless types of condiments available to me. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and any other sauce that you could imagine seem to be mass-produced in little packets and distributed to your neighborhood fast food chain. As I sat at that table, I realized that I had grown up in a world very much unlike that of my family.

The world in which I live now is one of endless opportunities; I am the first member of my family to have so many choices for the future. My parents gave me a gift - a gift of life in the United States. Appreciation for this opportunity permeates my existence as I consider what most others take for granted. I appreciate what I have been given, simply because I know what it is like to live without it. In our society it is hard to imagine it any other way, but this is critical to the understanding of my background.

I was born in Belarus, a country that was part of the massive Soviet Union only a year prior to my birth. The nation that my family called home was a place in which jeans were a rare commodity, meat was a rationed good, and manual farm labor was a standard part of any young person's life. It is because of this that I am grateful for the abundance of possibilities that exist in my future. These opportunities that I have had have allowed me to develop into the individual that I am today. From soccer and orienteering to chess and math, without these opportunities I certainly would not be the person I am today

Among these possibilities exists one - Rice University - in which I am the most interested; I am eager to hopefully be a part of the Rice community and a residential college. Within my residential college I could contribute a perspective which would help create the atmosphere of diverse backgrounds for which Rice is famous. I would contribute not only my cultural traditions (have you ever tried beef tongue?), but also my unique perspective, a perspective which stems from an understanding of the opportunities which many others take for granted.

A residential college is much like a serving of food - it requires many different ingredients and condiments for it to succeed. At Rice I will be able to contribute my own condiment, horseradish, and in exchange, experience a variety of exotic condiments, from sriracha to harissa. As a residential college we will create a single dish - a family - from the diverse combination of different flavors, experiences, and perspectives that make up Rice students.

Undergraduate / I'm actually really excited to meet you; Stanford Roommate Essay [11]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

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Dear Future Roommate,
Whoever you are, I hate you.

Actually, I don't. I just wanted to catch the admission officer's attention. And apparently it must have worked, because you are reading this, which means I must have gotten into Stanford. First, let me just assure you that I do not hate you. I'm a pretty nice guy. I'm actually really excited to meet you.

Anyways, now that I have your attention, I should probably tell you something. Since we will be spending a lot of time together, I figured I would tell you about some other people I spend a lot of time with. Yep, you guessed it, my family.

Let me tell you about my dad. My dad and I talk a lot. Not about cars though ï about happiness, philosophy, and government. Sometimes we agree, but a lot of times we don't. I don't think it matters if we disagree; perhaps it's better that way. If we both agree, nothing really changes. But if we disagree, then we are going somewhere! Whoever does a better job at arguing can convince the other to change his mind. But I'm not talking about yelling the loudest, oh no. I'm talking about logical arguments, free from fallacies. I love those kinds of arguments; they satisfy my curiosity.

You probably see where this is going. Now that I am moving, I need a new partner for my discussion duo ï I am asking you to fill the position and be open to discussions. No, not about how soccer is a better sport than football (although it is). About Libertarianism and spirituality. I hope you agree. Don't you have a curiosity?

I mean, you don't have to agree. I'll still be a good roommate either way (I certainly won't hate you). I'll just have to wander around aimlessly until I find someone to debate with.

I can only hope that our future together contains many debates, discussions, and perhaps even some Ultimate Frisbee!

Sincerely,
Your Super Awesome Roommate