Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 ON TRAFFIC JAMS [4]

This is my first thread and i hope to get feedbacks

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'.
How true do you think this statement is?
What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

In the developing world where the population keeps climbing up at a high rate, it is important to take transportation into consideration. It is such a serious problem that people started to say that many cities in the world are transforming into 'one big traffic jam' compared to thirty years ago. In my opinion, the statement above is indeed true, as traffic jams are undeniably a huge issue.

As the world around us continues to develop, there has been an increasing need for transportation. More and more people purchase cars as a fast and convenient vehicle, but it's one of the worst contributors to traffic congestion. Unlike public transportation which can host a huge number of people at once, cars are a more private way of driving, leading to larger areas of roads being occupied by the same number of people. This can be a huge problem in metropolitans, where land is scarce and population is way too dense. People might take a liking in purchasing cars for its convenience, privacy, or probably to follow the trend of having luxury cars. The result is that many cities in the world are now facing numerous traffic jams, causing immense loss of energy, time and producing tons of greenhouse gasses.

In order to deal with the consequences and prevent further exacerbation of the concern, each of the citizens would first need to educate themselves on the matter. The government can also play a vital part in the management, by enacting different laws. There should be a higher fee towards private car owners, as well as a more affordable pricing for public transportation tickets. In some regions of the world, governments have also lent out bikes, which helps reduce traffic jams, protect the environment and enhance their citizen's health.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that roads are being overcrowded. There should be immediate measures to cater for the situation, ensuring a higher quality of life.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 ON LOCAL LANGUAGE LEARNING VS ENGLISH [2]

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out.

In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English?
Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In many countries, acquiring knowledge in the English language is usually considered as being of greater importance than their local counterparts. Some languages are thus at risk of being diminished. To my mind, it is crucial to study both the English language and the local languages.

As the world enters the era of globalization, it is of utmost importance that everyone can communicate with others. English as one of the most frequently used languages therefore needs to be taken into consideration for many people who want to connect with the world. Especially for young people, having proficiency in English helps them apply to highly ranked universities in other countries, get decent jobs and might ensure a better quality of life. For the older ones, learning English still benefits them in some aspects. They could have a greater opportunity at improving in their career, or as simple as being more confident in going on holiday abroad.

However, being fluent in English doesn't compensate for the necessity of knowing one's own native language. The local language contains a region's identity and heritage, which is unique and indispensable. In order to ensure a rich legacy of a country being passed onwards to future generations, preservation of languages needs to be taken into consideration. In order to do that, the government first needs to enact laws that include local languages in primary education, while the citizens can also be of great help by studying them conscientiously. There are some countries that have already started implementing those initiatives, some even have financial aid for writers to produce books in their own language in order to promote the use of the language.

In conclusion, while studying English offers a great deal of benefits, people should also have a knowledge of their native languages.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 ON OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE AND ROLE OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION TO TACKLE THE OBESITY PROBLEM [3]

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that overweight people increasing in number leads to more pressure on the medical sector. In order to tackle the problem, some suggest having more physical education in the student's system. While this might be helpful to some extent, I do not think this is an efficient solution.

First of all, while exercising is proven to be a beneficial method to lose weight, it needs to be paired with a balanced diet and changes in one's eating habit. In that perspective of linking eating habits with weight loss, not only school but also parents have to monitor and alter their children's behaviour when it comes to food. It is true for many people that binge eating relieves stress, hence it is necessary for parents to avoid putting too much strain on their children. Moreover, they could teach their children to deal with stress using numerous ways that do not include excessive eating like writing or listening to calm music.

Additionally, as a large number of people who are overweight do not belong in school, the change in the school schedule would be meaningless for them. A lot of them are office workers who lead stressful lives and spend countless hours sitting motionless in front of computers. Unlike children who are generally healthy, the problem of being overweight causes adults to have many side effects, including high blood cholesterol, high blood pressure, which in turn can lead to heart attacks or strokes. As a consequence, they are the main contributor of increasing pressure on the healthcare system.

In conclusion, the overweight situation cannot be improved by simply adding more physical education. If we want to ensure healthier lives and create less pressure on the healthcare system, it might be a great idea to encourage both better eating and exercising habits of everyone, at every age.