Undergraduate / 'The soccer ball game' - MIT short answer: something you like to do. [6]

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)

The floor may be grass, mud or concrete. The ball can be a tin can, a tennis ball or any item that can be kicked. The players may be friends, relatives, dogs or even just fences. I may bake in the sun or soak in the rain. I may be nonchalantly kicking an object or playing in a pulsating, hotly contested tournament final. Simply the ability to control the movement of anything without using my hands gives me immense satisfaction. The game has to be soccer- the most popular sport on the planet, at my school, and in my life.

Hey everyone, I could really use some feedback on this. My essay comes up to exactly 100 words (although I didn't realize this until after I finished).

Undergraduate / UC prompt 2: Significant achievement (Soccer) [6]

"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?"

I am, to a certain extent, a gifted student. My grades were consistently high and I found my academic life rather easy. But in my early teens I never found true satisfaction with good grades and amazing reports. While my grades did please me, I felt that my life lacked something to strive for. Something that really taxed my industrious and perseverant streak. Something which didn't come to me naturally, with minimal effort. With these thoughts I turned towards the 100x50 yard soccer pitch outside my classroom.

My early soccer days were fraught with intense training, conversations only about tactics and matches. Long hours of kicking a ball in my neighborhood only to be rewarded with making the school team one week and intense disappointment the next. My inclusion as a central defender in the Under-14 year's category of the soccer team was a moment to cherish.

Happy, but not entirely satisfied with my accomplishment I trained even harder to cement my place in the team. As I expected, my determination to play was severely tested with several people asking me why I chose to choose a new path to success instead of exploiting my academic prowess. "Stop wasting your time with sports," my friends would tell me.

To me, the hours spent on soccer were anything but wasted time.
I held a place in the school soccer team right through high school and my passion for the sport was undiminished by an increase in academic workload. Just before an Under-17 match, my coach told my fellow defenders and me to each pick out one opponent and follow him like a shadow all over the pitch (a tactic called man-to-man defense). This made us all very nervous as if any opponent scored, we would know who to blame. During the match, however no one saw suppressing one opponent as their sole task but helped each other win the ball back, chased after stray attackers and called for assistance when needed.

Although our goal scorers reaped the glory, the fact that our defense spontaneously and seamlessly worked together as a single impenetrable unit responsible for the big zero next to our opponents' name on the scoreboard made me happier than any test score had.

As I moved past my high school years, I dreamed of playing as a professional. Sadly where the dream was, the requisite talent wasn't. Academics became my main focus but soccer continues to be my passion. In retrospect, being on the soccer team taught me the true values of teamwork, perseverance and strength of character that neither academic awards nor prize money did.

Hi everyone. Does the first paragraph make me seem too much of a braggart? Also, do you think I should elaborate more on how my achievements on the soccer team reflect my personality?

Undergraduate / "the western coast of India" - world you come from [3]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My ancestral home is in a tiny place called Manipal located on the western coast of India. Sixty years ago Manipal was a remote hamlet but now it is a vibrant student town with medical and engineering colleges that attract students from all over the world.

I found it hard to believe that the state of the art hospitals and colleges were built in what was once a desolate outcrop. My grandmother proudly told me that she helped build the hospital by being part of a volunteer group which would, after school, help carry sand and stones from the storage yard to the construction site.

I was intrigued and filled with pride as the Hospital Project was the brain child of my great grand uncle, Dr. T.M.A. Pai.

Dr. T.M.A. Pai sought to establish a medical college and a hospital in Manipal. In the early 1950, when the country was celebrating only its third year of independence, Manipal was as bucolic as you could imagine. The town did not even have a secondary school and its healthcare system consisted of a paltry, rundown clinic. The very idea of a small hospital, let alone a private medical college in Manipal was laughable.

Unsurprisingly, when Dr. Pai sought aid from the Cabinet Health Minister, the politician dismissed his idea with a simple yet emphatic "You must be mad!"

Undaunted by this humiliating remark, Dr. Pai devoted himself to breathing life into his vision.
After exhausting nearly his entire life savings and soliciting tremendous amount of support from friends and relatives, Dr. Pai established the Kasturba Medical College and Hospital. The hospital became the showpiece of Manipal boasting of technology and equipment that were scarcely imagined, let alone made available in the entire district.

A triumphant Dr. Pai requested the same skeptical Health Minister to inaugurate the college. Needless to say, the Minister couldn't believe his eyes at the sight of the institution. He claimed that the need of the hour was more "mad" people to make India a force to reckon with in the future.

As I grew older I thought a lot about Dr. Pai's life. How satisfying it must be to improve the quality of life of an entire township! How rewarding to empower a whole generation! When I was younger I admired the recognition brought by Dr. Pai to the family name. Now I realize that while his personal and professional accomplishments are enviable, it is the fact that Manipal, at all levels of society, is still reaping the rewards of his efforts that has convinced me to emulate his life. I decided to equip myself with the right education to help me give something back to the world that gave me a chance.

I am not too happy with the conclusion. Do I need to write more about my dreams and aspirations and less about my 'world'?
Also, does my first paragraph make a good introduction?
I would appreciate all comments!

Undergraduate / My dilemma dramatically changed my perspectives on life; ethical dilemma/alcoholism [2]

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Prior to Grade 11, whenever I heard the words 'substance abuse' my mind immediately pictured useless, pathetic and stupid people who were ruining their lives for no reason. My notion began to change slightly as I moved through my last schooling years but even with an ever-increasing academic workload I would never even consider any substance as a stress reliever.

The circumstances which made me think long and hard about my life started with a relatively innocent incident one day in chemistry class. The teacher announced that we would be starting organic chemistry and asked the class to name the chapter they wished to start. "Alcohols, of course!" said several people.

It wasn't until a classmate's party that I realized exactly how many of my friends were drinking. Not only were they drinking, they were also trying to convince me to join them. I immediately declined and also urged them to stop, advising them that their lives were deteriorating. Of course, my advice went unheeded. It was much easier to convince one person to start drinking than convince twenty to stop.

As time passed, however I realized that my friends were having the time of their lives. Clubbing one week to party hopping the next, each time with alcohol, each time without me. Instead of a feeling of integrity, pangs of regret troubled my brain every time I thought of my friends.

It was my life, not theirs that was deteriorating. Every week my mind would be loaded with academic work while my friends would fill themselves up and urge me to join.

As weeks passed I began to grow more distant from my classmates and soon realized that I was fighting a losing battle against staying sober in an effort to keep my friends. Ultimately, I would be forced to choose between being a loner and being an alcoholic, between my friendships and my liver. Of course, I still did have a group of classmates who never touched drink but losing nearly half the people I grew up with to alcohol was difficult to stomach.

Eventually it took a considerable amount of thought and several leaflets from Alcoholics Anonymous to convince me that my life wasn't worth wasting.
My dilemma dramatically changed my perspectives on life. I learned to be much more far sighted and began to resist the temptations of alcohol. I also began to value and appreciate my life more. To my immense relief, I also learned to mingle with my friends attend their parties without laying my hands on a drink.

Although I still wish my friends would stop drinking, I no longer think of them or any substance abuser as pathetic or stupid. As I remember the days when I could so easily have joined them, I simply think of them as people who have made the wrong choice.

Hi everyone! I could really use help on this. Should I try to link this dilemma with my career aspirations or would that detract from the theme of the essay? By the way, I know the last line is cheesy and is a cliche but I couldn't think of anything else!