Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by akmaster101
Name: Arnav Kapadia
Joined: Dec 3, 2023
Last Post: May 17, 2024
Threads: 4
Posts: 6  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 10
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akmaster101   
Dec 3, 2023
Undergraduate / Balancing my life priorities - UBC Application: Tell us about who you are. [NEW]

Please comment on my application essay for UBC Engineering, the question is "TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. HOW WOULD YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND/OR MEMBERS OF YOUR COMMUNITY DESCRIBE YOU? IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE INCLUDE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE MOST PROUD OF AND WHY. (MAXIMUM 1500 CHARACTERS)"

I am [Insert Name], an IB Diploma student living in [Insert City]. Throughout my life, I have lived and studied in India, USA, and Canada. This has allowed me to explore and experience diverse cultures, activities, hobbies, and friendships.

Since childhood, I have been a creative person who has enjoyed bringing creativity and academics together. I have been interested in the designs and mechanics of how things around me, like computers, aircraft, cars and software, are designed. My family and friends who know my interests and hobbies would describe me as a man of curiosity and intrigue. By pursuing Engineering, I plan to continue this learning.

In addition, I have frequently participated in community activities, such as volunteering and community services. I have been involved with volunteering at summer programs at my local community center and university, where my recreation coordinator would describe me as a positive role model and a youth leader who takes an interest in leading and teaching other kids and students.

I am most proud of balancing my life priorities on studies, sports, hobbies and social activities, which allows me to pursue a wide range of activities while maintaining solid academics. Studying is crucial, but participating in clubs, volunteering, public speaking, athletics, hobbies, and other contributions is equally essential to maintaining a balanced life. I am proud that I have achieved a good balance in my life and plan to continue that.
akmaster101   
Apr 13, 2024
Writing Feedback / Pros and cons of developing tourism industry [4]

I will suggest adding a thesis line at the start of the task, before you delve deeper into your points. This can be a summary of your stance on the question and the points you will discuss. Then, the reader will have a better time understanding your thought process and earn more marks.
akmaster101   
Apr 13, 2024
Writing Feedback / In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing [3]

Yes, like Holt said, use a space after any punctuation used, such as a period or comma. Additionally, I would rephrase the first line to "The average lifespan is longer in developed countries." Do not use "and" as the first word in a sentence, omit it.
akmaster101   
Apr 19, 2024
Undergraduate / Waterloo Computer Engineering: Reasons for choosing your program [2]

How can I Improve? Please let me know any suggestions for improvement and overall thoughts about the response.

Question: Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program. (900 character limit)

Response: I have always had a passion for engineering and technology since I was young. Working with computers, circuits, or developing computer programs, etc is my niche. Pursuing computer & electrical engineering (ECE) will help me combine my natural interests in technology and electrical systems into a prosperous career, such as in the booming development of Artificial Intelligence (AI), comprising hardware design, software development (algorithms, coding) and advanced circuitry. I am interested in Waterloo because of its creative and entrepreneurial ecosystem, which pushes the boundaries of what is possible and creates innovations in today¿s world. Specifically, Waterloo offers valuable opportunities, including co-op, WE Accelerate, Velocity, and Capstone Design, which I am eager to join as it will help me combine my electronics, software, and AI passion/skills and kickstart my career.
akmaster101   
Apr 23, 2024
Scholarship / IT usage - reasons why I am proposing to these institutions (AAS) [4]

You should focus more on why you should attend those universities, what do you offer to the table. Don't ramble about the negative attributes about your country. Also, talk a little more about the second university, they want to see an interest in both, not just one and then the second is a "backup."
akmaster101   
Apr 23, 2024
Undergraduate / Waterloo Computer Engineering: Engineering Interests and goals [2]

Please let me know strengths and areas for improvement in this response.

Briefly explain why you are interested in engineering and particularly in the program to which you have applied. Comment, for example, on your interests and abilities; your career goals; exposure to engineering through school-related and other experiences; and discussions you have had with engineers, teachers, current or past Waterloo students. (900 character limit)

My interest in ECE stems from wanting to improve the lives of others & innovate the world. Since childhood, I enjoyed creative activities such as chess, Legos, circuit building and experimenting with technology where innovation and creativity were important. Not only this but my recent experiences & projects strengthened my skills in studying ECE. For instance, I attend development seminars and develop games on the popular platform Roblox, accumulating 1M+ visits with $2000 in profits. This strengthened my programming, UI and modelling skills. Additionally, in my IB Physics class, hands-on labs on electricity, magnetism, and induction further modelled my interest in ECE. I learnt advanced topics like flux, alternating current, and complex circuits. As an engineer, I want to push the boundaries of what's possible and create innovations for the world that will benefit future generations.
akmaster101   
May 17, 2024
Writing Feedback / Development in urbanization - TASK 2 - ACADEMIC [3]

I will recommend proofreading the response multiple times. For example, change "hazzard circumstances" to hazardous circumstances as it is more grammatically favored. Additionally, you should separate your arguments into separate paragraphs so you can dig deeper into your arguments. Also, I recommend cutting out flab such as "the fact that" and two adjectives consecutively like "highly desirable" to simply "desirable."
akmaster101   
May 17, 2024
Undergraduate / University of Toronto Engineering Essay: Extracurricular Activities [2]

Please let me know the strengths and weaknesses of my response to the following question:
Extra-curricular activities can shape each individual's lifelong learning both inside and outside the classroom. What skills and interests have you developed through your extra-curricular involvement, volunteerism and/or work experience. Reflect on how your involvement in a particular activity may have shaped your plan to study your chosen program(s) at U of T Engineering. (250 words or less)

Response: Important skills I developed in extracurricular involvement include leadership, teamwork, communication, problem-solving and more. Ever since I was young, I developed an interest in chess and badminton, which led to participating in more extracurricular activities in high school, including volunteering, employment, clubs, tournaments, and more. One particular set of activities that shaped my goal to study ECE Engineering is developing programs and games. I attended development seminars to learn Lua, C++, and Java, which I used to create games on popular platforms such as Roblox Studio/Blender. I additionally used Arduino and programming experience to create interactive electric objects, such as a house light controller and an add-on to game development. In game development, I led a team of multiple people coordinating every aspect of our projects, where communication, teamwork, speaking and assertiveness were essential. My plan to pursue engineering stems from my passion for problem-solving and innovation, which was critical to game development and Arduino projects. We strived to create innovative programs and games, providing our audience with entertainment and the "wow factor." Additionally, my experience with conflict, leadership, teamwork and communication will complement my engineering studies in many scenarios, including discussing projects with my peers and participating in co-op work terms and the workplace. I have developed the skills required to succeed in U of T Engineering through my active engagement in extracurricular activities. They will allow me to take on any challenge encountered during my studies, independently and with a team.
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