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Posts by uzb_ulugbek
Joined: Dec 22, 2009
Last Post: Feb 16, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: uzbekistan

Displayed posts: 6
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uzb_ulugbek   
Jan 31, 2011
Undergraduate / "to satisfy my interests and academic hunger" - Transfer Common Application [2]

Dear all, this is transfer essay for common application profile. Please! Check and give any feedbakc and I will do so to you! Thank you :)

I sit near the fire, and try to find reasons why I should not transfer my study. I count the reasons in my mind, good and safe place to study, good professors, and warm environment and what is more, my current institution is in my home country. I keep telling myself how Banking and Finance major is appropriate and can bring me bright future. I consider academic books and some assignments of higher courses as challenging in order not to lower my passion to challenges. I convince myself to the availability of sponsors to my study for the next academic year and breathe deeply. In the end of my thinking I can do nothing but think of better opportunities and open doors to my much better life path that can be found in a different educational institution.

For the sake of my parents' wish, I found myself in a strange interest area. Looking through the modules that we will take in further semesters, I find all of them out of my interest and lose my curiosity. Undeniably, all modules are to make a student a skilled and educated professional, if he/she has an interest in it, unfortunately, isolating me. One thought hits my mind,"that is not what I seek, that is not what I deserve." My interest is far from it, political science and I see very little link between Banking and Finance major and Political Science. I have surely determined my future into the Politics. I do not want to change it, because without determination and persistence there is no way to achieve my goals.

In the beginning of first semester, I met some challenges as I began learning totally strange field. Professors helped me to do better and the environment was warm enough. As time passed I began losing my passion to study, facing very little challenges. By the end of the semester, I found myself in a simple and dull educational place. In order not to lose my passion and academic thirst, I tried to face challenges outside of the institution, by taking part time job and participating in various out-of-study contests. However, when I enter the campus, I see myself in a turned over environment. That pisses me off and as soon as classes end I get out of the building as quickly as possible. I just can't keep living this way, so starting today I am breaking this case. I want a university that offers me the major that is in my interest and I am sure that I will face challenges by being among diversity of people and experiencing new educational system.

As it is said, "birds of a feather flock together." Here, in my current institute, I see myself being isolated academically by having a different academic interest. I strongly believe that transferring my study is a big chance to satisfy my interests and academic hunger. I am looking forward to experiencing a new, academically challenging environment in the USA and I am sure that your institution is a sole place for me where all the things that I need for are offered. From the day that you admit me as a student, the success story will begin, reaching all of my academic and personal objectives and I will become an experienced and skilled leader for politics sphere.
uzb_ulugbek   
Feb 4, 2011
Undergraduate / "the human and professional worlds" - Babson essay : a letter to your future roommate [3]

Very nice beginning of your essay, but as I, as a reader, move on, I see only the description of why you are going to study in Babson. I think, your roommate is not interested in your plans from the college, but is interested in your personality. You have already given your academic objectives in other essays, and now, it is time to focus on yourself, how you behave, what do you like and do not like, how you can be a best roommate for him and so on.

Change from this line
: I mainly chose Babson for this reason but I also consider that it is a real promoter of the student's evolution. Babson understood the real point of progress : any theory has to be confronted before being considered. An implementation that has not been debated and evaluated is greatly exposed to failure, especially in entrepreneurship. Babson can grant me with the "Hegelian Aufhebung" I need to evolve. Through its diversity and its promotes of teamwork, Babson is to me the only colleges providing these necessary aspects of education.

During all these high school years, I felt that the theories I was studying were not truly exploited, as if I was missing some part of the subject. I know that Babson will allow me to deepen the subjects I am really interested in, something I would not be able to do that much elsewhere. College is in my opinion the perfect symbiosis between the human and professional worlds and I am expecting to receive from Babson and its community a part of the specific atmosphere that the school contains. I am also looking forward to be a part of the wide and diversified world of Babson and to be able to contribute with my own labor to the further increases of Babson College.

If you have time, please look through my essays and give your feedbacks.

Thank you. Wishing you good luck!!!
uzb_ulugbek   
Feb 9, 2011
Undergraduate / volunteer at orphanage - EXTRA CURRICULAR common app. [8]

Very good beginning, but you should tell what was your exact experience from that voluenteering. "As I tried to simultaneously hand out sweets and kiss their cheeks, I smiled on the inside and was certain that there could not a better way of spending my Saturday mornings."What did you do next to make them happy? How did they react? what were the most important experiences from that?

Answer to these questions and probably, you can have a good essay.

PS, Please check mine, too. Thank you!!!

Wish you good luck :)
uzb_ulugbek   
Feb 9, 2011
Undergraduate / "Attending the lyceum without any idea"- experience, achievement, risk you have taken [2]

Dear All! this essay is for Common Application. Please provide me with your feedbacks and so do I. Thank you Very much!

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and discuss its impact on you.

These past three years have given me the experiences which dramatically shaped my worldview and values. Attending the lyceum without any absolute idea in the first year and being so far away from my home and friends, everything seemed very boring to me. I was very timid and self-esteem there. I did not get into among the people and all the time I was with all my thoughts and the thing that I used to do was looking at people and cars' moving through the window of the lyceum. The desire to communicate others was very low that I even could not dare to talk friendly to others. I knew no one of students except my group mates and my cousin in another one. The weekends were my lovely days as I went home and saw my family and friends, but weekdays moved on slowly and boring. Every day my eyes saw usual events and people without any challenge but, my heart was waiting calmly a change which could change my entire life.

I began to get used to being there as a sophomore and no other event changed and cultivated my personality, but taking part in the club "X". It was an open club and gave a chance to members to show abilities and unique features. There I found it very essential and helpful and began to spend my free times. Extending friends and making the relationships tight with them became my first aim. My communication skills changed dramatically that I began to make pleasant conversations with others. This betterment assisted me to know more about various people's mannerism, as I tried to be among strange people most of time. Watching their actions, I understood how they behaved and can be encouraged by a person. This helped me to attract their attention easily in most of the meetings and debates. Working with all members and dedicating to improve the club we established vigorous connection among the participants. We helped to one another in every tough situation to find possible solutions and as a result, attempting together as a whole group led us to build up stabile friendship.

I also intensified my optimism while being in this club. We partook in several competitions and performances with other clubs in last two years in many places of the city and although, some were very difficult to win I never lost my desire to win these and that gave me much effort to dedicate tenaciously to the victory. Once, we competed with three clubs which were known as the best of bests among lyceums. Some members were sure about our failure and lost their desire to victory, but I did not give up my hope, motivated the members, endeavored much enough, did my best to lead them and as a consequence we took the 1st place. Nonetheless, we did not win all contests. Sometimes we failed, but these failures lead us to learn our weaknesses and how to overcome. With determination, zeal and aspiration we cultivated and strengthened our abilities since working on the mistakes we had done before. In a short period of time, with the struggle of members, we were capable of getting rid off our most of foibles and meliorating the status of the club.

I know that by going to a lyceum or participation to a club a person never can create and amend all abilities at once that need to be a real person. But a person must use all opportunities to accomplish goals. Little chances lead to perfectness if a person knows how to acquire these. I realized that to satisfy all my curiosity the tremendous desire is enough as a basic thing. I know obstacles always rise on the way of mine towards great goals but creativity, leadership qualities, ability to work as a team, tenaciousness, optimism and intense wish help me as do my two hands and brain. So, from this I am determined to pursue my targets so that I can enhance my abilities and skills to hold an entity position in society and will try to overcome all my weaknesses and threats by persevering. I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I never stop on one point. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands and for this I should take the next big step.
uzb_ulugbek   
Feb 16, 2011
Undergraduate / My education and personal /professional goals - PURDUE ESSAY [5]

Hi, here are my comments:

It is an established fact that USA is scientifically and technologically the most advanced country in the world. It cannot be denied that it is because of the scientific temper and entrepreneurship of the people. These qualities are generated because of the academic environment and spirit of excellence, which is inculcated by the American education system thus making it the best in the world. It is a known fact that Neil Armstrong was also an alumni of this institute, thus the Purdue University has a special place not only in America but also in the world. All together, Purdue has produced 22 astronauts, including Gus Grissom and Eugene Cernan. Many of its past students had the honor to serve NASA's manned space missions in various capacities. The alumni of this university have led significant advances in research and development of aerospace technology and established an amazing record for exploration of space. Being a student in such an esteem college would be a god sent opportunity. HOW GOOD IS THIS OPPORTUNITY???Therefore I am trying my best to get admission in Purdue University.

As I had my entire schooling from India, most of the time I was exposed to a homogenous group of students. Till date I did not had an opportunity to interact with multi-lingual, multi- ethnic, multi- cultural group. (HERE YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT COLLOGE LIFE OF PERSUE)One of the most interesting aspects of the whole college experience is getting a chance to meet thousands of new people who all have their own ideas and being able to share all of my ideas with them. I am looking forward to meet people from different cultural background. With such an environment not only will I have an opportunity to meet highly intellectual people from different ethnic and cultural background but also exposed to and share different ideas and thoughts altogether. (make this sentence shorter)

And also, make a conclusion that speaks loudly about the assistence of the university to your professional objectives.

Your ideas are more heart-touchable if you add other ideas such us interactions, education, community and so on. Wish you good luck.

PS, if you have time pls look at my essays also.
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