Writing Feedback / help- topic: problems encounter with not speaking english in america [6]

The Importance of the English Language

The English language is highly essential to know for communication in today's world. It is a very important language because it is spoken in a lot of places. There are many problems facing non-English speaking immigrants in America. Some of these problems include conversational misunderstanding, isolation from others and difficulty in obtaining simple necessities.

The inability to fully express a person's feelings may cause misunderstandings. A person who doesn't know how to speak English fluently may have a hard time communicating his true intentions with a limited vocabulary. Sometimes a non-native English speaker may have difficulties finding the appropriate words to convey what he really wants to say. The inaccurate construction of his grammar may also add to the confusion.

If a person is having difficulties speaking English, he will also have a hard time making friends because he doesn't feel confident speaking the language. He will feel isolated because he cannot communicate very well with others. Based on the story "A Boy with his Hat Over his Crotch," Yifeng who had come abroad for study was feeling very lonely. He spent his time isolated in the stone-stepped library where he studied endlessly. He never ventured out to meet people. Instead, he spent his free time in the kitchen learning how to cook.

A person may have difficulties in acquiring the simple everyday necessities if he is not fluent in the English language. He would have a hard time shopping for food in a grocery store. He would find it troublesome to ask for assistance from employees or to deal with the cashier. Also, if upon eating in a restaurant, he would have a hard time communicating with the server.

In conclusion, people traveling abroad often encounters language barrier. Most of these are the difficulties in surviving.

HELP. I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF MISTAKES IN MY GRAMMAR. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT ARE THOSE AND HOW CAN I DEVELOP THIS ESSAY. IM STILL NOT DONE WITH IT. I STILL NEED TO WORK ON MY CONCLUSION. PLEASE IF U HAVE ANY IDEAS.

Essays / "The Simpsons" - help in paragraph homework [2]

"The Simpsons" is a modern day show and is one of the most popular cartoon shows. It is even air on a prime time in a big network before another popular show. However, just because it is a cartoon show it doesn't mean that it is always appropriate for kids. The Simpsons portrays a family with awful morals and terrible manners. The program conveys inappropriate acts such as cursing, shouting, stealing, cheating, gambling, disrespecting adults and many more. The list can go on forever and even though it is rated for teens and adults, parents sometimes don't really supervise what their kids are watching. Kids may think that just because it is funny it is also okay for them to do such things. Kids today sometimes imitate what they see on television and watching "The Simpsons" is not a good example.

HELP IN DEVELOPING IT. PLEASE
TEACHER ASKED US TO DO A PARAGRAPH WITH ANY OF OUR CHOICE. I CHOSE THIS BECAUSE I THINK THAT IT IS EASY TO TALK ABOUT. I DON'T WANNA PROJECT THAT THE SHOW ITSELF IS BAD(but i think i did) I ALSO WANT TO EXPRESS THAT IT IS ALSO UP TO THE PARENTS TO GUIDE THEIR KIDS. (not just the simpsons, there are worsts like Family Guy and Southpark). ALSO I WANT MY GRAMMAR TO BE CORRECT AS WELL NOT ONLY THE IDEAS. THANKS

Writing Feedback / Credit Card Invention - essay check [NEW]

My professor gave us a prompt about a best or worst invention. I thought credit card would be good. She also gave us questions that should be in it so it made me a little confuse about my topic sentences or main idea. here are the questions;

1. what is the invention?
2. who is the inventor?
3. inventor's motivation
4. impact with the world
5. impact with me

here is my first draft of my essay. i would appreciate anyone's help especially with my grammar. THANK YOU. =)

Credit Card Invention

The best invention would be is the credit card. The world is hard to imagine without a universal credit card. People hardly have cash in their wallets today. This essay will talk about the credit card invention; its inventor and his motivation, its impact in the world and its impact with me.

Frank X. McNamara is the inventor of the first universal credit card. He came up with the idea when there was a time that he went out with his two friends. At the end of the meal, he realized that he forgot his wallet. He then called his wife to bring him some money. That's when he came up with the idea of credit card that could be used at multiple locations. At 1950, he then started a new company, the Diners Club. The Diners club was going to offer credit to individuals for many companies then bill the customers & pay the companies.

In today's generation especially in America people can't live without the credit cards. People start to have credit cards when they start college. This is just one of the reasons why a lot of people are drowning in debts. People loose control sometime and they start to spend so much more than they earn. When the bill comes in monthly they only pay the minimum due. It then starts to accumulate and the next thing they know is that they are drowning in thousands of debts.

Credit cards affect me financially. There was a time that I lost control in spending at the same time it was a big help especially during emergencies. I learn how to have self - discipline and that is to only buy things that I need. It also made me responsible because I am responsible for the money that I am borrowing. I have to pay at least half of the money I borrow monthly or else it will accumulate together with the interest.

Credit card surely have a great impact with the world and personally with me.

Writing Feedback / L.A. brothers - "This is now your new home, welcome home!" [NEW]

hello, i made this essay and i had trouble putting more metaphors in it. can u help me change some of my words and check my grammar too pls.i already read it many times and i dunno what to add anymore. its a narrative essay about the day that i moved in california. thanks

"Ladies and gentlemen, we just landed in Los Angeles Airport." These were the few words that I remember from my flight from the Philippines to California. It was eight at night and the sky was filled with stars, just like my stomach was filled with butterflies, because of the excitement that I was feeling. "Finally, I am here." I whispered. All I could see were a bunch of other planes outside the window, but I was still delighted because of the fact that it was my first time.

A lot of the passengers could not wait to stand up and get out of the plane even though they just woke up from the long flight. Everyone just wanted to go home and rest. It was an exhausting 13-hour flight. Thank God I was able to sleep during the flight. We finally came to a full stop. "It is now safe to removed your seatbelt," the flight attendant announced. I stood up from my chair and stretched for about five seconds while I took another glanced at the window. I reached out for my heavy backpack in the compartment then I prepared to get out of the plane just like everybody else.

It took only about 10 minutes before they finally opened the door, but it felt like it was an hour. Slowly, the passengers started to move to get out of the plane. As I was walking towards the door, the flight attendants and the pilots were there by the door to say goodbye to the passengers. I smiled back at them as I thanked them for a memorable fly. I continued to walk, walk and walk. It was the longest walk I have ever had in an airport. I asked myself, "When is this going to end?" I was already feeling tired and that long walk in the airport with my heavy backpack just added up to it.

Finally, I reached the immigration and I had to stand and wait in the long line, so they can check my immigration papers. Inch by inch, I was getting closer to the end of the line and inch by inch, I was feeling more exhausted. While I was waiting, I continued to look around and observed the other people walking around the big airport. Half an hour later, my turn came and it went well. They welcomed me and gave me the permission to legally reside in the United States.

Right after the immigration, I went to look for my huge blue luggage. It did not take me that long to find it. I could already see it even from afar. It was the only luggage that was left. As I walked to get it, there were so many things that were going through my mind, but the only thing that I wanted to think at that moment was the excitement of seeing my brother and my mother. I have not seen them for years and I could not wait to feel them around my arms. So I hurriedly grabbed my luggage and I immediately headed to the lobby.

As I took the last turn towards the waiting area, I saw my brother and my mother right away. My blank face suddenly was enlightened by a smile on it . I saw my brother first, leaning on the grill while waiting for me. He still looked the same from the last time I saw him, except that he gained a little weight. When I looked at his left hand side, I saw my joyful mother. Her eyes looked watery that she was about to tear from the happiness of seeing her lovely daughter. We quickly walk towards each other that I did not mind pushing my heavy luggage. Then I hugged them so tight for quite some time like a scene from a drama series on the television. No words came out of my mouth yet. I was speechless.

After a few minutes, we started to walk to the parking lot as I tried to redeem myself. When I walked out of the door of the airport, I felt the cold October breeze touched my face. "It is almost winter time." My brother told me. It was completely different to the weather I grew up with, from a very humid climate to a chilly weather condition.

Not long after, we got in the car and they started asking me questions. At first I did not know where to start, then after a minute, I started answering their questions. Stories just continuously flowed out of my mouth until I was enthralled by the whole different place I was seeing. My brother smoothly drove the car while I looked outside the window. I was overwhelmed with the wide freeways with a lot of fast cars and numerous lights in the city.

Half an hour later, we finally got to my brother's house. I stepped out of the car, I took a deep breath and I just stared at the house. Seconds after, my brother came to me, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders as we both looked at the house then he said, "This is now your new home, welcome home!"

Essays / Introduction-contrast, it needs to be long and catchy [3]

I am working on an introduction. it needs to be long and catchy. I think what i have right now is a "contrast" type introduction. i need your help in developing it pls. here is what i have so far..

Having a good job does not seem to happen to many people especially for their first job. A lot of workers today are working but does not like what they are doing at all. Looking for a decent nice job does not come to everyone very easily. I felt very lucky to be not part of those many people. I was fortunate that I loved my first job, and I consider it the best. It was an easy job, has a good pay and nice workplace.

Essays / Aim to entertain using quotation and contrast - essay intro [2]

prompt- aim to entertain using quotation and contrast. INTRODUCTION only for now.

Thesis- Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive. (Plan)

Quotation:
"All that I am, or owe to be, I owe to my angel mother," this is just one of my favorite quotations from Abraham Lincoln quotes. Throughout my life, although there were times that I fail or disappoint my mother, she has never fail to always be there for me whenever, whichever and whatever. I think that I have become a wonderful person because my mother brought me up properly with good values and her guidance. Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive.

Contrast
It is sad that these days that many of the kids don't understand why their parents especially their mothers are always there for them. Some of the kids are really being disrespectful to their mothers who just want the best for their children. They don't appreciate what their mothers do for them. They don't realized how important their mothers are until it is too late. But for me, I take every chance to thank my mother for everything she has done for me. Almost 23 years ago, I was blessed not only for I was born, but I was also born with an excellent mother. There are so many good qualities that my mother possesses, some of these are caring, patient and supportive.

Essays / "Knowledge is a real power" - grammar check [2]

I NEED HELP WITH MY PARAGRAPH. PLS CHECK MY GRAMMARS. I KNOW THAT A LOT OF MY WORDS ARE REPEATED OR INAPPROPRIATE COZ IM ESL AND I AM HAVING A HARD TIME.. THANKS

"Knowledge is a real power," a quote proclaimed by Anna-Maria Petricic. Knowledge is the most valuable possession that can never be stolen by anybody. It is instilled in the mind and will even nourish as days pass by. Knowledge can come from schooling and usually from everyday experiences. During these circumstances, there are a lot of people behind it that contributed a lot with our knowledge.

As the time went by, I gained more knowledge. I have been through different situations in life that molded the knowledge that I have right now. There are a lot of people who influenced me. Different people have come in and out of my life. Some did not last very long and some still remains as part of my life. I value each of them whether they do me good or even just brought harm to me. They are part of my experiences that helped me craft the knowledge that I have. My family, teachers, peers and even my enemies were the people who contributed to craft the knowledge that I now have.

Undergraduate / "I can never know everything, but with what I know, I can accomplish anything" - essay check [2]

please help me with my grammar again. i know i still lack conclusion.. please

"I can never know everything, but with what I know, I can accomplish anything," Petricic said when she has succeeded in reaching her goals from the article Knowledge is Power. She strived hard so she could get the education that she wanted. If a person really wants something, he or she would do everything just to reach his or her dreams. Just like Petricic, despite that she heard all theses horrible stories about the college in her hometown, she came up with a plan of going to America to get better education. Petricic said, "College was supposed to build my confidence in the process of attaining knowledge." Personally, I would do the same thing, I would not allow anyone to tell me what I can or can't do and will not stop until I reached my goals.

However, there were people behind every success who also contributed a lot in one's knowledge. Petricic was lucky to have a very supportive mother. She has all these dreams that wouldn't be possible if her mother was not there to guide and help her to pursue her dreams. Not only her mother or other family members, but also even the strangers that she has encountered during the trials in her life brought her some knowledge that she could use. Petricic said, "The more I heard the whispers, the more convinced I became that I must not attend college in my homeland." It signified that she used all the negative forces around her as her strength to pursue more in getting what she wants. I have been through different situations in life that molded the knowledge that I have right now. Different people have also come in and out of my life. Some did not last very long and some still remain a part of my life. I value each of them whether they do me good or have just brought harm to me. A lot of people have been a part of my experiences that have helped me craft the knowledge that I have. My family, teachers, peers and even my enemies were the people who contributed to attain the knowledge that I now have.

Through my hard work, my family has been my inspiration for since the day that I was born they were the first ones who taught me about life in general. My family opened my eyes into the real world. They made me aware of my surroundings and brought me up with good values and manners. My parents have initially taught me about the traditional Filipino customs. They showed me how to respect my elder brothers by calling them "kuya" which means respect to older brother or "ate" to older sister. Another one is by using the words "po/opo" as a sign of respect to elderly like parents, aunts and uncles or grandparents. Also they trained me to recognize an elder's presence by taking the elder's hand, bring it to forehead and release it. Moreover from teaching me good values and manners, my mother taught me the basic education before starting school. She taught me how to sing ABC and count one to ten. I also remember my brother who instructed me how to play the chess game that I still love playing up until now. My other brothers have also tutored me with my school and showed me how to do some house chores. I remember when they taught me how to read the clock and how to cook rice or wash the dishes. Right now, they still continue to teach me, but in a deeper way. I always ask for their opinion every time I have to make an important decision. Not only because they know best, but also because I want their support. "I wanted my mother's support. Everything else would work out somehow," Petricic once mentioned when she first thought of studying in America. It demonstrates that she gets her strength from the people around her who supports her. Recently I had to make a decision about what should I major in college and they have been supportive of it as long as I finished school. My father also have exhibit how to think practically. He was the one who taught me about saving. He told me that I should learn to prioritize and only buy the things that I need first.

Some of my teachers may have been very strict, but I know that they all want us to succeed. Teachers are what most of the students consider as their second parents because they spend more time in school than they do at home. As what Petricic said, "Teachers were supposed to encourage me with their wisdom and compassion," my teachers have been my inspiration and would not learn from school if it were not for my hardworking teachers. My Math teacher, one of my favorite teachers, has been very supportive not just to me, but to all her students. She always check on us by asking how we were doing with all the other classes. If we were having problems with other subjects, she always has some advices to give to her students to uplift their feelings. Also, I recall Professor Roda, my History teacher, who is well known for being a terror teacher in my College. He was very organized in every way and wanted his students to follow his every instruction. He would yell if his students were not able to follow his instructions. He would tell us how easy to read his instructions, and that all left to do is to follow it. He basically disciplines us that I like about his teaching.

Besides from my family and teachers, who I encountered most of my time, the people who I just passed by my journey, also made an impact to my learning about life. My friends and even strangers have taught me in many different ways. I have many friends but trust only few of them. They are the ones who also give me advices based on their experiences. I rely on it sometimes because we have a lot of things in common. Gladys, my best friend, just graduated a bachelor's degree in nursing which is the same major I am going to take. I have asked her so many times for help academically, and she helped me without hesitations. Also, in Petricic's Article when she said, "The travel agent found a cheap student rate. Despite strict regulations, she was willing to sell me a one way ticket." It showed that even strangers could care. The travel agent demonstrated a trait of being cooperative that is a good example. I don't have enemies, but we could never avoid if some people have insecurities and don't like seeing others succeed before them. I would just ignore them and does not let anyone affect me negatively. Instead, I used them as my inspiration to pursue more and show them what I can do.