Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

help- topic: problems encounter with not speaking english in america


pinks1026 8 / 3  
Apr 29, 2008   #1
The Importance of the English Language

The English language is highly essential to know for communication in today's world. It is a very important language because it is spoken in a lot of places. There are many problems facing non-English speaking immigrants in America. Some of these problems include conversational misunderstanding, isolation from others and difficulty in obtaining simple necessities.

The inability to fully express a person's feelings may cause misunderstandings. A person who doesn't know how to speak English fluently may have a hard time communicating his true intentions with a limited vocabulary. Sometimes a non-native English speaker may have difficulties finding the appropriate words to convey what he really wants to say. The inaccurate construction of his grammar may also add to the confusion.

If a person is having difficulties speaking English, he will also have a hard time making friends because he doesn't feel confident speaking the language. He will feel isolated because he cannot communicate very well with others. Based on the story "A Boy with his Hat Over his Crotch," Yifeng who had come abroad for study was feeling very lonely. He spent his time isolated in the stone-stepped library where he studied endlessly. He never ventured out to meet people. Instead, he spent his free time in the kitchen learning how to cook.

A person may have difficulties in acquiring the simple everyday necessities if he is not fluent in the English language. He would have a hard time shopping for food in a grocery store. He would find it troublesome to ask for assistance from employees or to deal with the cashier. Also, if upon eating in a restaurant, he would have a hard time communicating with the server.

In conclusion, people traveling abroad often encounters language barrier. Most of these are the difficulties in surviving.

HELP. I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF MISTAKES IN MY GRAMMAR. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT ARE THOSE AND HOW CAN I DEVELOP THIS ESSAY. IM STILL NOT DONE WITH IT. I STILL NEED TO WORK ON MY CONCLUSION. PLEASE IF U HAVE ANY IDEAS.

3flip 1 / 4  
Apr 29, 2008   #2
How about starting your first paragraph by condensing your first two sentences into one main idea. For example:

With the increasing degree of globalization, and perhaps the growing influence of Western culture, economy, and diplomacy, the English language has become an essential tool for successfully navigating the obstacles inherent with international communication.

The next sentence could be shortened as well. You could say,

There are many problems facing non-English speaking immigrants in America. Some of these problems include conversational misunderstanding, isolation from others, and difficulty in obtaining simple necessities.

The inability to fully express a person's feelings may cause misunderstandings. A person who doesn't know how to speak English fluently may have a hard time communicating his true intentions with a limited vocabulary. Sometimes a non-native English speaker may have difficulties finding the appropriate words to convey what he really wants to say. The inaccurate construction of his grammar may also add to the confusion.

Remove the first sentence of the third paragraph, it is not necessary to define a common word.

If a person is having difficulties speaking English, he will also have a hard time making friends because he doesn't feel confident speaking the language. He will feel isolated because he cannot communicate very well with others. Just like Yifeng (Who is Yifeng? Perhaps you should explain briefly who Yifeng is prior to this sentence), he was lonely. He spent his time isolated in the stone-stepped library where he studied endlessly. He never ventured out to meet people. Instead, he spent his free time in the kitchen learning how to cook.

A person may have difficulties in acquiring the simple everday necessities if he or she is not fluent in the English language. He or she would have a hard time shopping for food in a grocery store. Allergies have no relevence to your argument here, you can remove that part of the sentence, along with the next. Instead you could say,He or she would find it troublesome to ask for assistance from employees or to deal with the cashier.Also, if upon eating in a restaurant, he or she would have a hard time communitcating with the server.

Hope that helps.
OP pinks1026 8 / 3  
Apr 29, 2008   #3
thanks so much. it really helped a lot especially that english is also not my native language. couldn't find the right words sometimes. thanks thanks.
OP pinks1026 8 / 3  
Apr 29, 2008   #4
THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS. AFTER IT, I HAVE DEVELOPED MY ESSAY AND I CAN SAY IT IS MUCH BETTER. HERE IS MY REVISION AFTER THE SUGGESTIONS. I STILL WANT TO WORK ON MY CONCLUSION BECAUSE I JUST HAVE 2 SENTENCES. THIS IS DUE ON MAY 12TH, SO IF YOU STILL HAVE IDEAS PLEASE HELP ME. THANKS AGAIN.
3flip 1 / 4  
Apr 29, 2008   #5
Great job revising it! It's no problem helping you out. I am writing a long essay myself right now, and enjoy revising someone else's work as a distraction when I am bored. Well let me help you with the start of your conclusion. You will definitely need more to it. Your first sentence is good, but I would suggest removing "In conclusion". I just do not think it is a good way to start conclusions. You should then go through each paragraph and summarize the main idea from each in your next three sentences. Then close with your next sentence. You could end by suggesting a possible solution, perhaps something along the lines of having computer language translators installed in grocery stores and restaurants, free pocket dictionaries with common English phrases handed out to those in need, or government-funded classes to teach basic communication to ESL citizens.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
May 5, 2008   #6
Good evening!

This is a very well organized, wonderfully articulated essay. Nice work. I have very few suggestions:

"...conversational misunderstanding, isolation from others, and difficulty..."

"...Yifeng, who had come abroad for study, was feeling very lonely..."

"...food and stuffs (Change to "other items") he needs..."

"...misunderstanding, feelings of isolation, and difficulty in obtaining..."

You have done a very good job working through this essay; it has come a long way and is a very nice work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


Home / Writing Feedback / help- topic: problems encounter with not speaking english in america