Writing Feedback / Children spend too much time on computers; IELTS [7]

Task2 :
More and more families have computers in their homes, and children spend a great deal of their time using their home computers.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give you own opinions.?

Nowadays, South Koreans' most families have their home computers, thereby many children affect by it from very young age. The children could use it as a toy, listening a song and drawing pictures instead of on a paper that it has increasingly changed for the last a decade. In the past, a lot of children used to play outside with their friends, but today, they prefer to spend their free time at home and be alone with the computers. Whether the computer has fundamentally beneficial influence on them, or it has detrimental effect, many people believe that computer is an essential item which they must have.

First of all, the computer may be not only electric equipment, especially, the internet introduced to us many years ago. The children are not necessary to get help from their parents while they are doing home works, because they could find informations of school works anytime on the internet with the computers. It is more convenience and does not need time consuming to go to the library

Even though, the computer are using in a positive way, some people insist that the computers have negative side for the children. Almost half of the children who have used the computer, they show that have addicted to playing computer's games and watching programs on the internet. When their parents are tried to stop them, they may show such an anger toward their parents and do not want to change their habbits. In addition, they easily connected to web-sites which is only for adults, it could seriously damage their brains and childhoods.

In conclusion, it seems that using computer is necessary in many ways, but disadvantage is stronger than advantage. I strongly recommend that the parents should not allow the children to spend time with the computers alone and make some strict rules of using it.

Writing Feedback / IELTS : Attitude of students is the main reason for many problems [2]

Task 2:
Many problems in schools are aroused by the attitude of students. How do these problems from?
What should we do to change the situation?

In the present age, it is a common sight that many teenagers are showing their bad attitude in public places which some people have concerned deeply about this. Espacially, teachers who are dealing with them all the time, some teachers say that they can not control their students anymore. Whether the school system has been caused this problems or somthing else?

Many people just blame on schools and teachers that they contend that school education system has failed that why the situation is happening while ohters believe that teenagers are been spoild by their parents. To start with, many parents have only a child therefore they can not teach their child how to share with others. Also, some of them have to work both that have no time to be around their child, the child might spent most their time alone with watching TV shows without any guidence. Which could be influence the chlid's charater, when they became a student, the people can see easilly that some of them have an attitude such as an anger problems.

Traditionally, in Korea, for example, the level of morality was very high that children were to be submissive to their parents as well as other adults around them, and most families were bigger.The children had forced to learn patience and knowing that they could not have everything what they want. At that time, there was no such an issue that the teenagers were showing their angers toward any adult or in public areas.

To sum up, I believe that the students' attitude problems do not start from schools, bad upbringing has made them out of control and then it came to social matters. The parents should guided them stongly in proper way and make some strict rules of behaving.