Writing Feedback / IELTS essay feedback, regarding the idea of talking about power of advertising. [5]

Hi writers, I have just decided to do a MBA and due it I have to get the IELTS certificate to achieve this goal. I have wroten some essays in the english school, but not to do the IELTS, so then please find bellow my FIRST essay ever, regarding the idea of talking about power of advertising.

Nowadays advertising is such a common term either in business or personal talks almost every single released product must to be advertised. In addition products must have a marketing campaign, which depending on the product or the brand can involve huge amount of money. The power of advertising in changing our mind is a controversial subject however, the impact of advertising can not be ignored.

Most of the global bands, in particular sports, cars, and dinks ones, have done massive marketing campaign to release a product. They have contract global or local celebrities to attractive costumers' eyes and rise the sell's number. Moreover, having done survey and dealing that well done marketing campaigns could increase profits as well.

From a different angle, how it could be said that advertising can change our mind, when thinking about buying or not a product. Furthermore, people should have not said, a custom have not be influenced by an advert, if it has been done with their prefer celebrity and in their country, even more if it has been choice among cheaper options.

In conclusion, marketers by their surveys have agreed that advertising a product could, in fact, increase profits. Also they will carry to do it and spend even more amount of money contracting celebrities to take part in adverts. Even though adverting's power is a controversial subject, the marketing world has agreed it can change customers decisions, perhaps by the fact people wish were their idols.

Regards,

Jose Carlos

Writing Feedback / IELTS - the idea of talking about students behaviours. [4]

Here we go! my second essay ever...

Just explaing to you guys why I am following someone else essay. My ideia is to go online here on the Forum, see a topic and start writing. Because at the day of the test sould be the same, I can not predict what they will ask me to write.

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior.
What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many say that the world has changed over the years and the human behaviour has changed together as well. Human behaviour has been changing, perhaps following several changes that our culture, life and many essentials things, which we need to live, have been changing. Together all of this, our children have learned and lived more changes than ever before. Despite the fact that school should be considered such as children's second house, has it came along with the world's changes?

Schools how it used to be, with more rules to follow than attractive subjects, to catch children attention, could have been the cause of many students problematic behaviours. Due to, students normally under 21 years old, tend to have a challenging mind. Moreover, children and teenagers under severe rules, may revolt against these ones, teachers and directors.

Even tough, most of the problems with students are reported in schools, bad behaviours could have started inside children's house. Problems in family lead to children intolerant behaviour at schools. Not present parents, who do not provide enough attention and do not teach their children, tend to create no respectable people.

To summarize, more attractive schools, which have more trained teachers, to provide more enthusiasm for students, also creating flexible rules, to go along with world's news trends. In addition, parents who better look after their children, teaching them politeness and no many family problems. It Should decrease some problems that schools have had with students behaviours.

Writing Feedback / IELTS ; Is it unfair to pay such high salaries to Football players? [2]

Hi salaries in football.

Nowadays football players have been paid enormous amount of money, sometimes they earn more in a month period than a person will do in all its life. Many people say it is unfair or not reasonable, but how hard it is to deal with a fair salary for somebody, who has a special skill, able to bring thousands of people to stadiums and sell many using its, it image.

Top football clubs have paid extremely high salaries for their footballers, who is top class and famous, some of them can earn more than £150.000 per week. They are selling and buying footballer for more than fifty million pounds. Moreover, some clubs are in debt because these kind of contracts, but still doing it, what tends to increase.

Despite the fact that two thirds of the world are living under the poverty line, year by year footballer have increased their salaries. However, how we could judge a club to do that, if its footballer can sell so many shirts and make more money for it.

Clubs have been criticized for paying these salaries and footballers have been criticized for plying for money, instead of plying for love or passion. But how about the fans? We buy shirts and go to stadiums. How about some TV channels, which has the right to transmit matches, and pay fortunes for it.

To summarize, it is quite easy to blame some well-paid job, but analysing reason why it happens, could show us it.