Writing Feedback / GRE-is history relevant to our daily lives? [3]

hi, everyone!
I'm a chinese undergraduate, my first time to use this forum and it seems useful.
I need some suggestions for my essay. Thank you!

Present your prespective on the issue below, using relevant reasons or examples to support your views

Topic:"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

Response

People live in present, care about the future. As today is the history of the future, the study of history not only has value on our daily lives, it also plays a big role in the progress of our society as well as our country.

For the individual, history is equal as the past, involving what we did and what we experienced before. Admittedly, we benefit from the past in several aspects.

First, we know the change and the progress of our lives by comparing the present with history. Our elder generations may mention how convenient and how precious our life is now, inspiring us to live continuously with passion and hope. We all eager to see what life will be in the future. Second, looking back the past, we improve ourselves by introspection. We get experience or lessons from studying what we did. It is true an experienced worker makes him be more popular than newbie, for he has more "pasts" to improve himself. Third, we can achieve happiness through history. It a common sense that we cherish the memory of our childhood and take photos as a souvenir after a party or a long journey. The past involves our happiness and we can re-enjoy them by looking back the past.

Also, the study history plays a big role in the area of science and technology, making progress of society. In order to forecast the trend of global warming, scientists will refer to the data of temperature in history. And I know that astronomers can't leave the records in history to research the orbits of plants. Equally, besides investigation and observation, biologists will take years to study the data of past to indicate the change of population of one specie. The study history provide a scientific method and access in the research of science and technology, aiming at providing better services for human of society.

What's more, history is a valuable treasure for a country. In the passage of time, the change of dynasties, social disorders and frequent natural disasters, all the important events in history provide lessons and experience for a nation. And the study of history to some extent serves the governor, helping a country to move to prosperity.

In sum, to study history is to develop the ability of self-examinations and through interpreting the unfolding human record, the study of history provide us a way to develop a better society.

Writing Feedback / GRE-The arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society. [7]

hi! everyone!
Nice to see you again! Thank you for your valuable suggestions!

Present your prespective on the issue below. Please
-consider the complexities and implications of the issue
-organize, develop, and express your ideas on the issue
-support your ideas with relevant reasons and examples
-control the elements of standard written English

TOPIC: "The arts (painting, music, literature, etc.) reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."

Response

The speaker asserts that arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society. I fundamentally agree; however, I think arts sometimes only reveal one individual's own ideas.

Based on the different purposes of arts, I think we can divide arts into "individual arts" and " social arts". The purpose of individual arts is basically to meet the artists' own needs while the social arts can be described as a way to reflect social phenomenon and the purpose of the social arts is to serve society. This classification may sounds very abstract. Some examples will be given below.

First, the individual arts are something that stimulates an individual's thoughts, emotions, beliefs, or ideas. It becomes unique for involving the artist's own opinion; but this also makes the individual arts hard to popularize. They can only be understood by a few people. For example, the world famous German composer and pianist Beethoven, after his last public concert in 1824, he turned to writing the string quartets for Golitsin. This series of quartets, known as the "Late Quartets", went far beyond what either musicians or audiences were ready for at that time. One musician commented that "we know there is something there, but we do not know what it is." However, I consider that this series of quarters is not "indecipherable, uncorrected horrors" as one composer named Louis Spohr said, and they are just Beethoven's individual arts. Think about Beethoven's situation at that time, he was very poor and he is badly ill, his artworks involved his own emotions and feelings obviously that common people hardly understand. Often this sort of arts like Beethoven's "Later Quartets" doesn't reveal the hidden ideas and impulses of a society.

Second, compared with the individual arts, however, the main purpose of social arts is to serve society. This sort of arts can be described as several things: products by the artists, opinions of a society, the response of the audience. For example, the popular music can be describes as social arts: musicians express their opinions about the trend in society by rhythm, at the same time, they try to find the common points with their fans. We can see that there are many vague words in a popular song and a song will become popular soon when it actually meets the audience's current tastes-the trend in society. And I know an American Writer, O. Henry, famous for his short stories, most of which are set in his own time. By reading his stories, audience can have a knowledge of the background of American society in the early years of the 20th century as well as the situations of the ordinary people that mostly dealt for in his stories. I think his stories can also be described as social arts. This sort of arts do reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society.

To sum up, the word art is as an abbreviation for creative thing. There are multiple issues about the function of arts, especially for a society. I think arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society but sometime not.

Writing Feedback / GRE-Should governments solve the immediate or the anticipated problems? [4]

hi! everyone!
Nice to see you! Thank you for your valuable suggestions!

Present your prespective on the issue below. Please
-consider the complexities and implications of the issue
-organize, develop, and express your ideas on the issue
-support your ideas with relevant reasons and examples
-control the elements of standard written English

TOPIC: "Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."

Response

I fundamentally agree with the speaker's claim that governments should focus on solving the immediate problems of today. However, considering the complexity of the problems that governments will be faced with, I think governments in different levels have different tasks and goals to solve those problems.

First, governments in city or state level should focus more on solving the immediate problems. I think the main responsibilities of these governments are to ensure every citizen has a better daily life. Local governments are more closed to the common people and deal with a mount of regular and common affairs every day. For example, if one factory gets fired in the city, the local government should organize the local staffs to put out the fire immediately and evacuate the masses nearby in order to reduce the loss of the citizens to the fullest extent. For governments in this level, solving the immediate problem seems more important.

Second, governments of different countries should solve the immediate problems of today as well as the anticipated problems of the future at the same time. For example, some pressing affairs such as natural disaster is the immediate problem that should be solved by the government. Besides that, a country government should focus on solving the anticipated problems of the future. For example, governments should pay fund on new technologies which will benefit the society in the future. For governments in nation level, solving the immediate problems is the same important as the anticipated problems. Furthermore, the UN, known as the government of the world, seems solve the anticipated problems more often than the immediate problems. Such problems include the Global Warming and the living conditions of the communities etc.

However, there are many problems for governments are neither immediate problems nor anticipated problems. Such as the problem of education and the problem of unemployment, such problems are long-term problems that governments should focus on solving them all the time.

To sum up, the responsibilities for governments are to advance the society. The various problems we are faced with are so complicated that governments in different levels should join hands together to solve those problems moment by moment .

Writing Feedback / GRE- In any profession, those in power should step down after five years. [4]

hi! everyone!
Thank you for your valuable suggestions!

Present your prespective on the issue below. Please
-consider the complexities and implications of the issue
-organize, develop, and express your ideas on the issue
-support your ideas with relevant reasons and examples
-control the elements of standard written English

TOPIC: "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

Response

In this claim, the speaker asserts that in any profession-business, education, government- those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership. I agree insofar as the speaker's basic assertion that an enterprise need new leadership through the path to success. However, I don't agree with the speaker's conclusion that in any profession those in power should step down after five years. One of an example to support my opinion is the common fact that many companies don't change the leader every five year.

Admittedly, the change of the leadership for some time will gives new fresh air to the enterprise, thus to some extent helping the company go to success. Time is changing as well as the surroundings of a company, an enterprise will indulge in stop and tend to become old if all the things such the principles and regulations remain the same. A new leader will bring new ideals and management of the company. Revolutions sometimes will be taken to prevent that trend. I think the change of leadership is one of reformational measures. It is not strange that we can see many world-famous enterprise changes its leader reported by the paper and TV every day.

However, that is not to say that the surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership. The speaker do overlooks many equal factors that will lead a company to succeed. Think about the Microsoft, a very successful enterprise established by Bill Gates. Did we see that Microsoft change its leader frequently? The answer is no. Bill Gates has taken the position for more than 20 years. I do think it is the existing technology innovation and the owned creative company culture that lead Microsoft to success instead of revitalization through new leadership. Moreover, the valuable experience that a lead received during his position play a role in leading the enterprise to succeed. The longer a leader stay in the company, the more experience he will receive which will help him manage the company. The speaker ignore many important factors.

Sometimes, it is the leader's own private choice that makes him leave the company. Think about Li kaifu, the manger of Google of China. He succeed to manage the affairs of Google in China. However, his leave of the company is due to his own choice as he said.

Finally, I doubt the speaker's conclusion that those in power should step down after five years is based on week evidence. 5 years is just a number, a number which belongs to the author's own guesswork, let alone in any profession tend to like that.

To sum up, whether those in power should step down is determined by many factors such as the ability of innovation and the management, not the destiny time-five years as the speaker said. In final analysis, the surest path to success for enterprise should be considered seriously by every leader, at least not only the revitalization through new leadership.