Writing Feedback / Repaying a kindness ("I have to treasure my parents' effort for funding me") [4]

Repaying a kindness

The old man lay dying on the hospital bed. He had suffered from a massive heart attack and was now quickly losing his grip on life. Emaciated and pale, he was only a shadow of his former self. I stay by the bed and held his hand throughout the night. It was the least I could do. After all he had been there when I was in trouble.

I was only ten when I first met the old man. I was then in primary 4. My school organized a Community Involvement Programme (CIP) where I have to help out in a Elderly Home -- Thian Leng Old Folks Home. Fate had brought the old man and me together when I was appointed to take care of him by the teacher-in-charge.

I am very grateful to him, because without him, I wouldn't have been standing here today. As my parents were always busy working, slogging out their guts to earn more money to make my life more comfortable. Thus I am always alone at home. However, after that trip to Thian Leng Old Folks Home, I've found myself a partner, and that is the old man. At first, I started introducing myself, little did I know, we immediately hit it off so well. From then on, I decided to visit him once in a week, bringing him nutritious food. From then on, whenever I have troubles, I would always consult him, and amazingly, he seems to understand me and with just a few sentences, he seems to have solved my problem.

Ever since the first day I've met him, he seems to be very lonely too, that is why, every time I visit him, I would bring him out for a walk, as a way of relieving stress after being ''lock up'' in the folks home for a period of time. According to him, his children were all pushing away the responsibilities of taking care of him, thus, in a moment of anger, he told his children to send him to a home instead. To his surprise, his children all agreed immediately! This make him lose all his confidence in his children after working so hard during his young days to fund them through their studies. From then on, his children had never visited him once.

As a Singaporean, all able-bodied men have to be called up to serve full-time national service (NS) for at least 2 years. Before I was recruited for NS, I visited him for the last time, informing him that I will not be around for 2 years and reminded him to take care of his health during this period. Finally, after 2 years of training ended, the first thing I did was to rush back to the folk's home and visit my friend. However, when I reach the place, the director of the folks home have changed, and my friend disappeared. I was told that his children fetched him home. I was disappointed but at the same time relieved. Disappointed, as I could not see him anymore. Relieved that his children finally fetched him back after leaving him in the folks' home for so many years.

Ten years passed without a word or trace of the old man. I have tried every way that I can to look for him, I even hired a private investigator to look for him, but he just cannot be found anywhere. Then, one morning, as I was having my breakfast, I opened the newspaper and saw a headline that wrote '' Old man Suffered From Massive Heart Attack'' and there shows a picture of him and I smiling at the camera during the old folks' home's anniversary.

The moment I saw the picture, I knew it was him. That was the photo that we took a day before I served full time NS. Immediately, I rushed off to the hospital hoping to see him for one last time. When he saw me, he said ''thank god for bringing my child back. I can now leave in peace.' With that, he passed away.

After this incident, it has made me realised that I have to treasure my parents' effort for funding me throughout my life. I would not want my parents to regret giving birth to me just like what my dearest friend that had just passed away.

Writing Feedback / What can we learn from sports? [2]

A sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful physical activity requiring commitment and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means. We learn about teamwork, sportsmanship, mutual trust among teamates and work ethic.

Firstly, teamwork requires co-operative effort on the part of a group of people acting together as a team to work towards a common goal, and that is emerging as the champion. For a team to have teamwork, it is not an easy task. Obstacles such as conflicts among teammates or unequal commitment to team might affect the team's overall performance. Teams need to be collectively committed to performance. Sometimes there will be individuals who are actively committed while there may be others who are passively committed. If it were to be a real competition, those who are passively committed might not have a high level of competitiveness especially when the team's score is lagging behind the opponent by a lot. Under such situation, those who are actively committed will be squeezing out their brain juices trying to come up with a strategy while those who are only passively committed might be giving up already.

Secondly, sportsmanship is something we can learn from sports too. Sportsmanship is an attitude that strives for fair play, courtesy toward teammates and opponents, ethical behaviour and integrity, and grace in victory or defeat. Sportsmanship expresses an aspiration or ethos that the activity will be enjoyed for its own sake. The well-known sentiment by sports journalist Grantland Rice, that it's "not that you won or lost but how you played the game," and the Modern Olympic creed expressed by its founder Pierre de Coubertin: "The most important thing is not winning but taking part" are typical expressions of this sentiment.

Thirdly, mutual trust between teammate is also something we can learn from sports. Complete trust and concern for one or more people truly takes a large effort, but if both parties are willing, it can create a relationship that will last a long while, especially in games. Therefore it is very important to have mutual trust in a team because, a team must be united and not suspicious of one another. If one were to play alone, then why is it called a team?

Lastly, work ethic is something we can learn from sports too. Work ethic is defined as a belief in the moral benefit of work and its ability to enhance character. A work ethic also has initiatives. This characteristic is an important factor for a team's overall performance. Without initiative, the team cannot improve on their current performance unless they tell the coach where their problem is, thus allowing the coach to improve on their skills so as to reduce chances of mistakes. With lesser mistakes being made, the team is one step closer to championship.

Hence, we can learn teamwork, sportsmanship, mutual trust and work ethic from sports. With these values inculcated in us, we will become a better person in team-playing games in the future.

(This is an essay which i have written recently, however, i feel that i've wrote it out of point, i'm looking forward to anyone's valuable opinion!)

Writing Feedback / "the National Police Cadet Corps" - about a competition you entered. [2]

I have entered a campcraft competition when I was in secondary 2. It was the National Police Cadet Corps (NPCC) inter-unit competition where each unit are to send four groups to participate in the competition. Each group comprises of 8 members. The main objective of the competition is to build a shelter, a temporary cooking spot, as well as a flag that represents our school.

This competition is only held bi-annually by the NPCC head quarters. Thus teachers in charge had a hard time picking out the elites for this competition. Surprisingly, I was selected. Over the next 3 months, we have been coming up with different types of design, then deciding on the final product. Although the training was energy consuming, we learnt a lot from this rare and valuable experience. That includes fighting against time, with speed and accuracy in everything we do.

We train at least twice a week and each session is usually three hours straight under the hot blazing sun. Each training, our Cadet Inspectors (CI) are making an effort to oversee the training and pointing out our minor mistakes and advices on how to improve our overall performance. Such opinions are valuable to us as we are able to know where our problem lies and solve it in time so as to not repeat such mistakes in the competition. This goes to show how seriously my group members and I approached this competition after all; we have put in lots of effort in it.

During the training, we had to coordinate our movement and the only way to do so is through practicing repeatedly. Firstly, before starting to build any of the structures, we must check that all essential items are provided. Following which, team members will have different job scope which they have to complete within a limited time period. Job scopes involved cutting of twines, tying knots on poles and erecting our flag.

These job scopes may seem simple, however, to be able to complete with a time limit is a different case. The twine cutter has to cut twines with different length for different purposes. The tying of every single knot has to be done in less than a minute. After tying, we had to tie ponchos to the tent as a form of shelter before tying a few more knots so as to stabilise the tent. After the tent and the cooking spot have been set up, members will then use a rope to create a level-like system so as to rise the flag.

Although the trainings we had were tedious and tough, I enjoy competing with others. This is because competition against different unit motivates my team members and I to surpass ourselves. Also, through competition, we are inspired by other unit's design of their tent; then through improvising the design and structure, we will share our knowledge with the juniors, who will be competing against other schools. Even though at the end of the competition, we did not emerged as the champion, we have rare and valuable experience which others may not have the chance to experience it.

*Dear viewers, if you think there should be anything to be changed, do not hesitate to leave me a comment, i'll take ur advise. I'm looking forward to your valuable opinions*

Writing Feedback / The Jealous reactions of one person to the success of a friend. [3]

The Jealous reactions of one person to the success of a friend.

Jealousy can lead you to do something which you yourself would not even have expected. This was what happen to me when i became jealous of John for being the best player in the school team.

John and i were good friends ever since primary school, everything changed after John and i enter the CCA(Co-Curricular Activity), Floorball, for three years. Due to John's good performance, he was selected to be the captain of the team when he was in Secondary 3. Me, on the other hand, envied John's achievement, though it may seem as a motivation for me to perform better, it happen other wise. Instead of improving my skills, i was jealous of John and that led me kept slipping. It seems like no matter how hard I tried to train myself, my skills was not as good as his, though I was a better player than anyone else.

Once, I asked John as to how was he able to have such tremendous skills? Being humble, he replied that it was merely luck that the stick brought to him that leads him to be able to play well. At that point of time, I thought John did not want to share his "formula" to success. Jealous, I tried to hatch a plan that would allow me to become the captain instead of him. An idea suddenly dawned on me. "Hey John, want to have a friendly match with me?" I eagerly asked him, two days before our next training. He agreed without hesitation. My plans began to unfold...

As we stood in ready position, a wave of guilt washed over me as I imagined the anguish my evil plans would bring to John. However, the feeling was replaced with a rush of adrenaline as I thought of finally being able to replace John to become the captain of the school team. The mere thought of it was intoxicating. I could not contain my excitement. With a whistle blow by a friend of my who volunteered to be the referee, I smiled sarcastically. The game started.

I manoeuvred the ball right into John's goalpost without hesitations. John was shocked at my roughness, however, it was only expressed on his face. For the next few goals, I intentionally banged into him for several times. At the last two minutes, I deliberately pushed him onto the ground. It was then, he started groaning in pain. I had achieved what I planned to do- injured him. Then, Tim the referee immediately called for the ambulance and John was sent to the hospital.

That moment, guilt and horror at my actions assailed me. What had I done to John? Why did I not think of the consequences before acting?

As the ambulance disappeared round the corner, tears flowed down my cheeks. What was once a position I wanted badly had now lost all it allure. After two months of recuperating, John has finally recovered, however, has sustained a permanent damage at his ankle, which will affect his performance. This incident, just because of the jealousy of the success of one friend, led me to live in guilt forever as I did not have the courage to apologise to him...