Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by dncrdv23
Joined: Nov 14, 2010
Last Post: Nov 29, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
dncrdv23   
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "Family has always been an important, MBA business" - my world [3]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Since a young age family has always been an important factor for me. Growing up with a small, tight-knit family provided me with a closer connection to each family member. With this, each of them has provided me with knowledge and support to pursue my biggest challenges. Yet, the biggest desire for myself is to carry on the family intelligence. Coming from a well-knowledge family puts an element compelling myself to never stop with education. My father is the main driving force in determination to excel to my fullest potential.

Growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah with not a lot of money and a father, who was never there, never stopped my father. Even at a young age in middle school, he never had a chance of failure. He made his way to the top as Student Body President with great grades and numerous extra actives on the side. After middle school, high school peer pressure never stopped his intelligence. He then became one of the top students graduating with honors. My father then continued his education at the University of Utah graduating with his bachelor and later attending California SU Fresno and receiving his MBA for business.

His drive for education in what has shaped my life. Since day one, I have always wanted to be just like him in pursuing my academic excellence. He never once let anything put his dreams down, and that is something I value and live by. My father has outlined a lifestyle that I wish to follow. He has provided me with the strength, courage, and determination in following my dreams in carrying on my family's intelligence with my future endeavors.
dncrdv23   
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "I wish I could go back" UC prompt #2 [3]

If I were you...

I would reflect less about the experience and more about how it relates to the person you are.
I would cut out half of the not needed details of "I hugged my mother goodbye, and walked onto the plane. I sat down and opened the "Flight Information Folder" my mother made."

I wuld change "I pulled out the letter of recommendation Mr. Gillogly wrote on my behalf. " to explaining why you go this and why you were going.

If it were a program about being a leader I would state that.
dncrdv23   
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "to major in International Studies" - UC (transfer) [3]

I would not start the essay with how you did. It makes me not interested in reading the rest of your essay because I already know what it is about.

I am not the best essay writer, but there are quite a few grammar issues that need to be solved.
dncrdv23   
Nov 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Dance Conservatory is my accomplishment - UC promt #2 [7]

Out of all the accomplishments that I have experienced in my life, being a four-year member of my high school's Dance Company/Conservatory Program is the one I am most proud of. While I began dancing competitively with a studio at the age of six, my participation with the Conservatory, the most advanced group within the Company, provided me with many challenging growth opportunities that I had not previously experienced through dance. Not only did the Conservatory program enhance my dance skills, it also exposed me to a much broader world of dance. Through this program I have received information about dance education, which included the history of dance and it's influential figures, exposure to the various styles of dance and an analysis of the impact dance has had on society. I also studied and participated in the entire aspects of producing a dance concert, including choreography, lighting and set design, costume design, sound and performance. My time with the Conservatory has expanded my view of dance from an entertainment-based activity to an expressive art form and ultimately to my chosen career path.

My experience with dance has helped influence my personal development by giving me an outlet for my competitiveness, making me a more committed individual, and providing me with an opportunity to develop my leadership skills. By competitiveness, I mean the desire to achieve the highest possible personal results, without comparing myself to anyone else. This is especially important when interacting with fellow dancers and friends. For me, commitment means sticking with the plan and completing all the challenging tasks that may come with it, especially at those times when I would like to take the easy way out. Experience has proven that this is the only way get the results I want in dance and in the rest of my life. And finally true leadership, not only requires a strong personality, but the ability to influence others towards the desired results. As a leader in the Conservatory program, I must regularly strike this balance. I have learned that my best form of leadership is by example. I sincerely believe all three of these attributes will benefit me in my college and future career in dance.

The Dance Conservatory has truly increased my love and appreciation for dance. It also provided me with a wonderful life experience. I now have a much better insight to the world of dance and a deeper understanding of myself. I feel very accomplished for having been part of (HS NAME) Dance Conservatory for the past four years.
dncrdv23   
Nov 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Dance Conservatory is my accomplishment - UC promt #2 [7]

Kendall,

Thank you so much :) I will take that into consideration!

By the way, you go to DP don't you? Once I saw your name I knew exactly who you were. I went to DP when Dani and Hayley came yet I left junior year due to the intensity of school program.
dncrdv23   
Nov 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Dance Conservatory is my accomplishment - UC promt #2 [7]

No worries at all :) Most people don't know my last name!

Thank you very much. Oh you did? I figured most dancers would. hahah

Yes I would! I am actually not the best essay writer, but I would be happy to help!
dncrdv23   
Nov 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "The experiences that lead me to my dream(Business)"UC Prompt [5]

I agree with Marina. I like how you used technology. I would maybe just only just technology though. You say "technology and past experiences" but I would just reflect on technology. Your past experiences can stem from technology, but I would make it just about technology.

I could be wrong, but that is what I would do. Very good though!
dncrdv23   
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Life is good! Put family first" - UC prompt #1 [3]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

One of my dad's favorite sayings is...Life is Good! I truly feel fortunate to be living a good life. I grew up in loving home in a safe community surrounded by many friends and extended family members. The closeness I have with my parents and older brother is something that I will always treasure. I have wonderful memories of birthday celebrations and neighborhood parties. With my family's Italian heritage, food has always been part of our way of life. Both my father and mother have put a significant amount of effort to create our positive lifestyle. They have always been a huge support system for my brother and me. My parent have always believed in us and supported our goals, especially our educational goals. My father is a college graduate with a master's degree in business. For nearly my entire life my father has been the sole provider of our family's income. Given my dad's high level of education and his strong work ethic, he has been able provide a very comfortable living. Shortly after I was born my mother decided to give up her business career and become a full time homemaker. Having my mom at home added an extra element support in my daily life. I was able to participate in many extracurricular activities; including dance, which has become my passion. However, experience has shown me that not everyone is as fortunate to have had all the wonderful opportunities that I have had. And as my dad also likes to point out, life is not always fair and you need to work extra hard to achieve your goals. So my hope is to earn a college degree, develop a successful career and provide a good life for my future family. I know my dreams can be achieved if I follow the example my parents taught me to hard work and always put family first.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳