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Posts by khris99
Joined: Jan 6, 2011
Last Post: Jan 21, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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khris99   
Jan 14, 2011
Undergraduate / "Athletics in high school" - an extracurricular activity [2]

Athletics played an integral role in my high school career. As a freshman I immediately encouraged myself to become an avid member in sports. The benefits were great and it was an easy choice to continue sports throughout my four years in high school. As I entered the spring season of my freshman year, I decided on running track because I wanted to try something new. Immediately, I was moved onto the varsity team and ran the mile and two mile. Through the rigorous three months that the track season lasted I was taught to become dedicated and also gained the ability of time management. The one year of track and the three years of tennis ensured that I would reach a full level of maturity; these experiences helped develop an ability to respect others and will fundamentally influence me for the rest of my life.
khris99   
Jan 21, 2011
Undergraduate / "Interest in philosophy and literature" (Low-GPA, high-potential student) [6]

I was initially attracted to William Paterson University because of, in addition to its conspicuous presence in my hometown, Wayne, NJ, feedback from friends and family members who attended the university and testified to the quality of the faculty and education there.

- I was initially attracted to William Paterson University because of its conspicuous presence in my hometown; Wayne, New Jersey. In addition to its impact on my daily surroundings, the University was highly praised by various friends and close family members who attended.

The original seemed a bit stretched out

Some work on your grammar and diction would contribute to a greater reading as well as the correction of a lot of run-on sentences.
khris99   
Jan 21, 2011
Undergraduate / "I want a degree in Civil Engineering" - Georgia Tech Admission essay. [3]

Here is the question:
Georgia Tech is proud to draw students from around the United States and countries throughout the world. This unique compilation of academic interests, personal backgrounds, and various life experiences creates an exciting and inspiring educational mix. Given your personal background, what would you hope to learn and contribute through becoming part of this sort of campus community?

Essay:
How has the world changed in the last 100 years? Better yet, disregard the first question and ask yourself in what aspect has it not changed? Evolution is a necessary tool if one wants to survive the rigorous stigmas placed upon humanity, exponential change defines the 21st century, and the only way to adapt is through education. I plan on attending one of the leading research institutions in the world, The Georgia Institute of Technology. Once, there I will graduate with a degree in Civil Engineering because an engineer in the 21st century will play an immensely important role in the layout and arrangement of future cities.

Grandiose will not begin to describe the structures inhabiting these metropolitans and any dreams we have now will fall short of our futuristic reality. An undergraduate study in this field will prepare me for constructing and designing new concepts to improve our infrastructures. I hope to become an innovator in the field, and I will strive for vast improvements stipulated by the dynamic growth that will be required since current projections estimate the human population to reach between 8 to 10.5 billion by the year 2050. I will not only be responsible for designing skyscrapers, irrigation system layouts, transportation infrastructure, and community plans but also responsible for building a quality of life. Every morning individuals will awaken in cities that I have designed and will feel safe knowing that the buildings will not crumble, the transportation will be timely, the water will be uncontaminated and the highways will take them to where they desire. As the years progress, time will not effect my work and repairs will be minimal. Of course this is all theoretical and quite difficult to obtain but through education anything is possible. I cannot think of anything I would rather do then studying the profession of my dreams hoping to contribute to a world that has given me so much. Engineering will not only be a career but it will be my passion. I have dreamt of being a civil engineer as long I can recall. As a child I could not help but marvel at the magnificent skylines populating my distant view in New York and now that my dreams are obtainable, I will do nothing less than perfection to make them come true.
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